danielthecreator:Mostly due to your crit I finally got on it and started drawing in backgrounds on my earlier pages. Here's page 1 recolored and with added backgrounds. Does this kind of thing work better? Redrawn page 1
Out There is a comic about... a paramedic? The world's worst base jumper? A little too early to tell.
Art- You've got a strong base here, but a lot of it looks sloppy and lazy. On page one we see a man in a suit running... but look at him, who runs like that? When in doubt, photo reference. Then page 2 the guy takes a dive out the window, which we later learn was 17 stories up. But either that man is a giant or he's falling from the second floor. And the scale of everything is off on that panel. It's a side view shot with no downward perspective, yet the things at ground level are in a smaller scale than the falling man. Once we're introduced to our main character (I'm assuming), we're treated to a superfluous montage of him... rummaging around in a tackle box? And then giving a random peace sign as he looks directly into camera. A lot of your poses just seem stiff and unnatural. Again, photo reference. All your exterior shots are just horrible. Take some time when drawing a building, use a ruler and find some, you guessed it, photo reference. I'm not sure what is up with all the random lines/cross hatching, since you're also using grey tones these seem unnecessary and give the art a sloppy feel. One final complaint is the crazy eyes. Sometimes your characters will have whites all the way around the pupil in stead of having the pupil (or retina or whatever) intersect with the eyelid. In the real world this wide eyed look is usually reserved for 1) a state of surprise 2) people with mental psychosis. Just having a character wide eyed for no reason gives them a crazy look.
Writing- Not much to go on. So far it just seems like you're setting up a larger story. I can't really give a full critique on this, since I'm not sure which bits are important and which aren't so much.
Bottom Line- a promising foundation that could use a lot of refinement
danielthecreator:Please critique Oi! if you have time
Oi is a comic that features a small town named by an eccentric Jewish fellow
Art- The art tends to vary in quality from panel to panel, with some images being amazing and some being just ok. Work on your consistency, man. The muted colors work well with the comic, and, even though the pallet is limited, none of the characters are ever lost in the background. Which actually brings me to a big complaint. There is almost never a background. And when there is one it is usually very simple. Your character art is fairly strong, but not strong enough to have the reader not notice your comic takes place primarily in a void. Your character designs range from interesting and unique to downright forgettable, which is a shame since it's your two main characters that are the most generic designs.
Writing- I've got to say, you got me interested in the story in the few pages you have posted. From what I have to go on, you have good pacing. However after 1 full read through and a couple skim overs I can't tell you what any of the characters are named, or if you even gave them names. You want to establish a character name right at their introduction and then hammer it into the reader's head. Even if you're not giving your character a "name" you have to establish that as well. Is your main character just referred to as Bard? Does he have a name? What about the other characters? If the reader doesn't know the name of a character how are they supposed to care about them? And if they don't care about them why should they come back to read what happens to them?
Bottom Line- This was actually a pretty enjoyable comic that I hadn't read before and am now glad that I did.
Tale of Middar is sort of like game of thrones, but with less incest and beheadings.
Art- I gotta say, at first glance I wasn't impressed with the art. However, after viewing the comic with a critical eye I realized how well everything works. Each character is uniquely designed and distinguishable, something a lot of professional artists can't do. The art gives off a sort of Dr. Suess vibe. Some of your poses are incredibly awkward, however, and you could use some anatomy lessons. The backgrounds really bring down the overall quality of the comic. The characters are so well drawn and then the background is thrown together with as much care as a down's syndrome chimp flinging shit on a canvas. The backgrounds get a little better as the comic progresses, but still could be better. Then again I dig over complicated backgrounds that no one is really even going to care about. Your inking is shit. Inking is so much more than tracing the pencil lines in ink. Vary your line weights, tighten up your line work. And for satan's sake, learn to draw a building.
Writing- I've said in other reviews that the stories tend to drag on, you have the opposite problem. 9 pages in and Yuelle has already met a necromancer, agreed to spend years as a maid to help get his stone back, and been offered a chance to be a surrogate baby mama for the king. Slow the fuck down! Let's get to know these characters a little, give some time to develop these plot points. Why does Yuelle trust this dude after just meeting him? What makes the king think she'll be a good surrogate? These things just happen with no explination.
Bottom line- This is actually a pretty fun comic, could use a few more details to make it a must read.
Demented is pretty much what the name implies. With transexual demons, BDSM, and uncomfortable borderline incest.
Art- You've got a pretty good grasp on the art, and there is a pretty clear evolution of style as the comic progresses. I'm not a fan of manga style, so my advice would be to change your style to something more pleasing to me. Or if you're going to stick with the manga try to distinguish yourself from every other manga influenced comic. Get some more Doomy in there. The bright colors work well counter balancing the darker plot elements, giving the overall comic a fun feel. Ugh, you use so many textures instead of just coloring stuff, and your backgrounds are mostly lazy. You've got such interesting character designs but then they're in such boring locations. Get some photo references. And this page: . Look at Grey's sleeves. Are they only the fronts? Why can't we see the back of the sleeve? I don't know why but this irked me something fierce. There are also a lot of times when your text balloons are in a weird lay out, making some panels hard to read. Balloon layout is more important than most people think. Confusing the reader is usually not a good idea.
Writing- Your whole first chapter is just two people talking. Walls and walls of text and a superfluous narration. If I wanted to read a book I wouldn't have dropped out of college. The whole backstory with Kael's father could have been told in a flashback, maybe some action scenes just to break up the monotony of two characters talking. And if you're going to do a narration than it should explain what is going on in the character's head, or something else that the reader shouldn't be able to know from the dialogue or images. Never should the narration describe the action, we should be able to gather that from the panel. It's a visual media after all. I know this is inspired by manga, but why isn't anyone named Bill or Jim? How about some diversity? Also for some reason characters pondering "is he going to be okay?" while looking at a headless body is unintentionally hysterical. Anyway, just try and tighten the writing up, get rid of anything that you don't absolutely need in the comic.
Bottom line- Demented has a solid base to work with, and from start to finish there is a great deal of evolution in art and writing style. In a few more years I can see this being professional quality.