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18th Jan 2017, 8:47 PM #1
Gluma

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Location: Glorious Mother Russia
haaaayes:Critique II: Electric Boogaloo

Strong lot of comics here.

Blessed and Damned

Wow. This is good.

I like almost everything about this comic. Mood's great. World's interesting, original and high-concept. Excellent visual storytelling. Anatomy and perspective's very good. Colour's good too. I don't normally like a sketchy/raggedy inking style but it works here.

Your layouts are cool as balls. You use a lot of unconventional panels without overdoing it. Page 6 is my jam. Also page 19 made me laugh.

I think the only thing I'd criticise is your dialogue - it can be a bit confusing in places. You tell a story with pictures beautifully and clearly, but with your text it stalls a little. I'd also try and do your lettering a bit more elegantly - in a comic so good-looking your flat balloons stand out a bit. I also noticed a load of typos - proof-read, dude!

A fantasy comic that tries to introduce you to a world visually is my kind of comic, my friend. Really refreshing.


Thank you very much!

Do you mean just lettering, or writing as whole? And what ways to make baloons non-flat but still readable would you suggest?
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16th Jan 2017, 8:47 PM #2
Gluma

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15th Jan 2017, 7:17 PM #3
Gluma

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It actually took me time to realize it's a burning photo and not a guy and a girl looking at a fire through a hole in the wall. Which is strange because there's enough stuff telling you it's a picture. I guess I need to hold my complaint about the absence of proper shading on the two characters back. I think, however, that a photo paper would have some more reflections here and there.

click
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15th Jan 2017, 7:03 PM #4
Gluma

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Gluma:Uh...

Well I guess now I do lol


Just compressed all the pages. Could you test it now please?
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15th Jan 2017, 6:31 PM #5
Gluma

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Uh...

Well I guess now I do lol
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15th Jan 2017, 4:12 PM #6
Gluma

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Nyomi:
[spoiler]I actually remembered to click on the profile this time, and… well, the profile was blank. I’ve accomplished a whole lot. I’d recommend filling that out- sometimes, if I’m on the edge about reading a comic, I’ll read the profile to see if it’s interesting- and if I see it’s blank I don’t think I’d end up reading it.

Alright, something I HAVE to bring up real quick is that the pages take quite a while to load. Part of this is probably that my internet is shoddy, but it’s not as if I have the worst internet in the world either- heck, I’m the only one on my internet right now! I’m not sure how large you’re making your pages, but if you can keep the quality relatively the same, I’d recommend shrinking the size as much as you can while keeping it looking nice. It’s a pain when I’m trying to read through it and it takes 30 seconds to load each page. It really detracts from the experience.

Whoa! I think I’ve actually read this comic before, at least a bit of it. I remember the beginning… did I never finish it? Huh. The loading times might have scared me off the first time. Sorry, a bit unrelated, but I just remembered seeing that dog before.
Update: I finished reading it and went to subscribe, and I was already subscribed! Bahaha, well, I must have just forgotten about it. Whoops!

Here’s my summary:
A man has a dream where he’s an utter badass with a dog who, while equally badass, kind of makes me sad. (He looks like he’s old and just wants to sleep?) He grabs a golden shield-type thing, tries to give it to his boss, but then all the Hentai he watched before he fell asleep kicks in and the tentacle monster attacks his lizard-boss.
The, it turns into a fencing match with a bear vs a wolf. The wolf kicks the bear’s ass. The wolf’s slave owner is a jerk to the lizard man, who punches him in the face, talks about racism with a rat, and then they talk about getting rich.
And yes, I am awful with names- I caught the name Richardo once, I think that’s the lizard?

Alright, first of all, this is absolutely beautiful. I adore your coloring in particular- you know the right colors to get the mood and tone right, and in particular, that last page had some excellent color choices. I also really enjoy the type of style you use, it’s pleasing to the eye, and everything just looks like… well, you know what you’re doing, for certain. Every page was well put together.

The story is fine, and I think because you’re still kicking it off it’s a little generic right now. The prologue seems a bit unnecessary, especially given that it was all a dream- kind of a cheap twist in my book. It definitely world builds, but… this doesn’t seem like something that can’t have been done later in the comic either, since I’m under the impression most of these characters will return from the banner.
The actual first chapter, I thought, was pretty well written! I enjoyed the lizard’s (Richardo, right?)’s interactions with the others, and watching the bear get the snot kicked out of him was fun. Richardo seems like his personality would get grating if he was constantly at the level he was at the end of the chapter, but I’ll assume he won’t be. And, hey, I’m intrigued enough to want to know more about this world and the characters, so clearly you were doing something right.

So, overall, I thought it was a visually impressive story that seems like it’s still hitting it’s stride as far as storytelling goes but has an interesting set-up. My only true grievance is the loading times- this made a 20 minute read into a nearly an hour. Some great potential here.

[/spoiler]



Thank you very much for this review!

I'm very sorry about your loading time, never really considered that problem before. I'd hesitate before reducing the page size though, as I think it detracts too much from quality.
By the way, when I was reading web comics myself, with slow mobile internet, I'd simultaniously open several pages on different tabs to wait less (so I could read one page while the next page was loading). Really helped me.

And thank you for pointing that out especially

Nyomi:Richardo seems like his personality would get grating if he was constantly at the level he was at the end of the chapter, but I’ll assume he won’t be.

It's one of the biggest concerns when you make a character with flawed personality, they're a dick all thee time and it's never punished, it becomes annoying.

Nyomi:I actually remembered to click on the profile this time, and… well, the profile was blank. I’ve accomplished a whole lot. I’d recommend filling that out- sometimes, if I’m on the edge about reading a comic, I’ll read the profile to see if it’s interesting- and if I see it’s blank I don’t think I’d end up reading it.

Filling the profile is also a good thing to I suppose. I didn't bother with "marketing" parts too much since I can't update on a regular basis anyway yet (which may soon enough change, by the way).
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11th Jan 2017, 5:23 PM #7
Gluma

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Can you pick me, too? Its just twenty-something pages, not nuch so far. Link in my sig.

Just tell what you honestly feel, no need to spicw$sugar things up.
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10th Jan 2017, 6:12 PM #8
Gluma

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Thank you very much!

Spoilered it because big:
[spoiler]
SunnySideUpSmile:Will you be explaining flora and fauna?

Of course, at some point.

SunnySideUpSmile:On this page, a border might help readers see the page and how it flows more easily.

I see what you mean, but I can't edit this any longer. My old HDD is dead, along with most of the work files with layer information stored on it.

SunnySideUpSmile:Finally, on this page, in the last two panels, a small border might work with separating the pages.

Well, you aren't even the only one to point it out for me. Definitely gonna do this, along with some text tweaks. (I think the exposition here is rather poorly done and feels unnatural).

SunnySideUpSmile:This page, in the 4th panel, does the bear's arm have metal bolts in it? What are those shiny silver dots?

Those are rivets in his gloves, randomly thrown in. They were meant to hold his glove together, but it doesn't really make any sense, so I guess they're decorative or something.

SunnySideUpSmile:This page really killed my eyes. What's going on in that page?

The lizard guy receives a constant flow of foxe's bragging and fantasy, illustrated. In the end, he blurps in the lizard's face and gets punched. I added it for the dialogue to feel more finished (the point was a face punch), but in the end it contrasts with all the previous stuff and doesn't flow quite well. Maybe I should desaturate it or somethink. Maybe make speech baloons instead of bobmastic large text.

SunnySideUpSmile:Also, that wolf/fox/animal whose talking to the lizard guy about the fighters, is he drunk?

Pretty much.[/spoiler]
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9th Jan 2017, 9:45 AM #9
Gluma

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30. Blessed and Damned Hardcore, please.

There isn't much story yet, what I really want to know is wether it's clear and readable, or confusing. I haven't ever done comics before, so proper pacing is quite a struggle for me.

Do a rant if you like, or rather if there's enough stuff to rant about, but short review will be fine too.


You are doing very well here, by the way. Thirty reviews and still no queue. Good job! Most reviewers get swarmed within a couple of days. Must help that reviews are short and laconic.
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6th Jan 2017, 2:23 PM #10
Gluma

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Those little baloon men are surely cute, with those palm-less limbs and no mouths, but I think the coloring could be better. It lacks the illusion of depth and colors are equally bright everywhere. You have, in fact, done this rather good here[/img], and you can do this in less spacious environment, too.



[url=http://badamned.webcomic.ws/comics/23]pum
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Result in thread: I wanna critique your shit
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5th Jan 2017, 9:50 PM #11
Gluma

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Enlist me too, there isn't too much at this point.
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Result in thread: Tapastic Style Comics Here?
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4th Jan 2017, 10:26 AM #12
Gluma

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What's the difference?
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3rd Jan 2017, 11:49 PM #13
Gluma

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It's srtylish, with those sketchy unrefined lineword and surreal colors. A mec-powered mutant named Boris sounds funny.
There's something to those david vs goliath arena fights that make you sympathise the non-main character guy. I had a very similar setting and everyone liked the disposable non-character "Goliath" guy.

Instead of contunuing the story I put an extra page in the middle of my comic because I felt a dialogue was unfinished. click
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31st Dec 2016, 8:05 PM #14
Gluma

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Is it too late yet?
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23rd Dec 2016, 8:07 PM #15
Gluma

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I like the art here, especially the color pallete. That car looks decently badass (I would've gone with a standard 4-wheel style though, even if if's not that exotic). And that robot guy (or is whoever he is really) looks kinda funny, that thing in his mouth's like a cigar.

I think you overuse rimlights, though. When done this way, they make characters look flat.

boop
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15th Dec 2016, 11:00 AM #16
Gluma

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toherrys:OH yes. I've tweaked and poked at my first couple chapters so much.

Ch1pg5
- some older version (not sure if original anymore)
[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]
- current version
[spoiler]Image[/spoiler]

I actually kinda want to redraw the first two chapters completely, maybe some day I'll have time for that >.> Because it pains me to look at and read those
Image


Honestly, I like the old one more.
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Result in thread: Shading?
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6th Dec 2016, 12:37 PM #17
Gluma

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I may be going somewhat off-topic, but that fence on the last pic is too contrasting. It distracts from the foreground too much. You need to be extremely careful with that, as contrast is your main tool for distributing viewer's attention.
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6th Dec 2016, 12:30 PM #18
Gluma

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want some attention too!!1 (Link in sig pic)


Honestly, these reviews must take hella time combined.
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28th Nov 2016, 12:38 PM #19
Gluma

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Result in thread: Villan Character
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18th Nov 2016, 7:03 AM #20
Gluma

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Putting his gun-arm in such an angle wasn't a good idea, it doesn't show what it looks like except for the muzzle.
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