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19th Feb 2017, 11:50 AM #1
Gluma

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Lt. Locust:
Next up, Fortune be Damned!!




Thank you very much for your review! It was a huge pleasure to read, something I rarely see in a morning's internet check. Very detailed and long. I only had a feeling you focused on the positives too much, but that's just me.

It might be good to add a comic profile at least, because a lot of people read that before deciding if they want to check out a comic; your profile is actually blank!


I'll sure do that as soon as I come up with a decent description. Is there anything else other than that, though? People keep saying "profile" so there has to be something more to it, but I fail to nitice (maybe it's the banner?)


One of the curiousities of this story is that there's both anthropomorphic characters and humans, but they intermingle in all the scenes. In a lot of stories where there's both species, there always seems to be themes of discrimination from the humans to the anthropomorphic race. Instead of humans vs furries, something else is hinted at.


Every "animal" character is anthropomorpized in a similar fasion based on a respective animal, so humans get their own "de-anthropomorphized" version of themselves (instead of, you know, evolving from monkeys. That "furry vs humans" thing has been done to death, as you said, so in fact, humans here are just as "furry" as anyone else. There is no real reason to it other than that I like it that way, and that I can afford it, because fantasy.

What's curious is that he's obviously in motion, but the rope is slack? If he's running across the wall and pulling himself, or if he's swinging himself, the rope would be taut.


Lol I never really thought about it. I think the initial idea was that he pulled the rope one time and then just flew in a free jump, with rope waving. It was a dream after all so any surreal shit would go.

Next is this speech bubble:


Oh yeah, i've been called out on that before, I watch my speech bubbles now.

And last is just a teeny observation. There's background characters in a lot of the scenes, but only one scene with women shows up - when the fox is talking about how much gold/loot and "hot chicks" (hah!) he's going to make. This area sort of looks like the slums, with a lot of very miserable folks and patched up clothing. So far, the only women to appear have been in someone's fantasy.


Oh yeah, I only noticed that while drawing page 20, where the last crowd was. Back then I thought there would be more crowds and I'd mix in a couple of women there (Originally in this dialogue two guys would just walk past backgrounds discussing things, I also threw some stuff out of it). Anyway, this society, while not really medieval, isn't exactly as progressive as XXI century first world, so at night I guess most women would be at home rather than in a place full of thugs like this.

Don't worry though, there definitely will be women, including actually strong ones. One of the four leads is a woman by the way, she just isn't introduced yet.

A strange creature follows him, but it's difficult to tell what significance of this creature is. It seems to be making weird faces more than anything. But maybe there isn't any significance to this stalker-creature, because it looks like our hero wakes up out of a dream partway through this event!


Oh, don't worry about that, too.
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15th Feb 2017, 6:34 AM #2
Gluma

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Go for Fortune be Damned, be as honest as you need. Not a huge one, 23 pages long.

---EDIT---

Oops, sorry, I think I missed the part where you said you'll only take three. Well, bad luck.
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11th Feb 2017, 6:21 AM #3
Gluma

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Image: http://pre10.deviantart.net/423b/th/pre/i/2017/037/c/9/der_landsknecht_by_glumych-day4919.png
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10th Feb 2017, 11:42 PM #4
Gluma

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You really don't need to draw grass that way. It shouldn't be so eqully dispersed all over the background, just through a little grass here and there, the viewer's brain will make up the rest intuitively, and it won't distract his attention either. Also the nope girl's pose looks kinda stiff, I'd drag her right leg somewhat further behind (look up the poses of running cycle)

All the rest is fairly decent, I should say, i like how you did graphic ink shading.


clunk
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4th Feb 2017, 10:00 PM #5
Gluma

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Well what should I say, it's a one sure damn creepy smile.

mine
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2nd Feb 2017, 9:20 AM #6
Gluma

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My latest
Image: http://pre03.deviantart.net/ab1f/th/pre/f/2017/027/2/6/lizardman_warrior_1_by_glumych-dawx5mz.png


DA folk kinda liked that, I think I'd do more of these.
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2nd Feb 2017, 9:02 AM #7
Gluma

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Kinda did that a while ago.

2014
[spoiler]
Image: http://pre04.deviantart.net/927f/th/pre/f/2014/109/1/6/wolven_fight_by_glumych-d7f4e2r.png
[/spoiler]
2015
[spoiler]
Image: http://pre07.deviantart.net/af93/th/pre/i/2015/239/d/4/_badamned__wolf_fight_v2_by_glumych-d97dufq.png
[/spoiler]

Ended up changing almost everything.
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Result in thread: which color is better
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2nd Feb 2017, 8:29 AM #8
Gluma

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I think its mostly about yellow being best friends with blue. Its one of the most common color combinations, and for a good reason.
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18th Jan 2017, 8:47 PM #9
Gluma

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haaaayes:Critique II: Electric Boogaloo

Strong lot of comics here.

Blessed and Damned

Wow. This is good.

I like almost everything about this comic. Mood's great. World's interesting, original and high-concept. Excellent visual storytelling. Anatomy and perspective's very good. Colour's good too. I don't normally like a sketchy/raggedy inking style but it works here.

Your layouts are cool as balls. You use a lot of unconventional panels without overdoing it. Page 6 is my jam. Also page 19 made me laugh.

I think the only thing I'd criticise is your dialogue - it can be a bit confusing in places. You tell a story with pictures beautifully and clearly, but with your text it stalls a little. I'd also try and do your lettering a bit more elegantly - in a comic so good-looking your flat balloons stand out a bit. I also noticed a load of typos - proof-read, dude!

A fantasy comic that tries to introduce you to a world visually is my kind of comic, my friend. Really refreshing.


Thank you very much!

Do you mean just lettering, or writing as whole? And what ways to make baloons non-flat but still readable would you suggest?
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16th Jan 2017, 8:47 PM #10
Gluma

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15th Jan 2017, 7:17 PM #11
Gluma

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It actually took me time to realize it's a burning photo and not a guy and a girl looking at a fire through a hole in the wall. Which is strange because there's enough stuff telling you it's a picture. I guess I need to hold my complaint about the absence of proper shading on the two characters back. I think, however, that a photo paper would have some more reflections here and there.

click
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15th Jan 2017, 7:03 PM #12
Gluma

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Gluma:Uh...

Well I guess now I do lol


Just compressed all the pages. Could you test it now please?
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15th Jan 2017, 6:31 PM #13
Gluma

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Uh...

Well I guess now I do lol
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15th Jan 2017, 4:12 PM #14
Gluma

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Nyomi:
[spoiler]I actually remembered to click on the profile this time, and… well, the profile was blank. I’ve accomplished a whole lot. I’d recommend filling that out- sometimes, if I’m on the edge about reading a comic, I’ll read the profile to see if it’s interesting- and if I see it’s blank I don’t think I’d end up reading it.

Alright, something I HAVE to bring up real quick is that the pages take quite a while to load. Part of this is probably that my internet is shoddy, but it’s not as if I have the worst internet in the world either- heck, I’m the only one on my internet right now! I’m not sure how large you’re making your pages, but if you can keep the quality relatively the same, I’d recommend shrinking the size as much as you can while keeping it looking nice. It’s a pain when I’m trying to read through it and it takes 30 seconds to load each page. It really detracts from the experience.

Whoa! I think I’ve actually read this comic before, at least a bit of it. I remember the beginning… did I never finish it? Huh. The loading times might have scared me off the first time. Sorry, a bit unrelated, but I just remembered seeing that dog before.
Update: I finished reading it and went to subscribe, and I was already subscribed! Bahaha, well, I must have just forgotten about it. Whoops!

Here’s my summary:
A man has a dream where he’s an utter badass with a dog who, while equally badass, kind of makes me sad. (He looks like he’s old and just wants to sleep?) He grabs a golden shield-type thing, tries to give it to his boss, but then all the Hentai he watched before he fell asleep kicks in and the tentacle monster attacks his lizard-boss.
The, it turns into a fencing match with a bear vs a wolf. The wolf kicks the bear’s ass. The wolf’s slave owner is a jerk to the lizard man, who punches him in the face, talks about racism with a rat, and then they talk about getting rich.
And yes, I am awful with names- I caught the name Richardo once, I think that’s the lizard?

Alright, first of all, this is absolutely beautiful. I adore your coloring in particular- you know the right colors to get the mood and tone right, and in particular, that last page had some excellent color choices. I also really enjoy the type of style you use, it’s pleasing to the eye, and everything just looks like… well, you know what you’re doing, for certain. Every page was well put together.

The story is fine, and I think because you’re still kicking it off it’s a little generic right now. The prologue seems a bit unnecessary, especially given that it was all a dream- kind of a cheap twist in my book. It definitely world builds, but… this doesn’t seem like something that can’t have been done later in the comic either, since I’m under the impression most of these characters will return from the banner.
The actual first chapter, I thought, was pretty well written! I enjoyed the lizard’s (Richardo, right?)’s interactions with the others, and watching the bear get the snot kicked out of him was fun. Richardo seems like his personality would get grating if he was constantly at the level he was at the end of the chapter, but I’ll assume he won’t be. And, hey, I’m intrigued enough to want to know more about this world and the characters, so clearly you were doing something right.

So, overall, I thought it was a visually impressive story that seems like it’s still hitting it’s stride as far as storytelling goes but has an interesting set-up. My only true grievance is the loading times- this made a 20 minute read into a nearly an hour. Some great potential here.

[/spoiler]



Thank you very much for this review!

I'm very sorry about your loading time, never really considered that problem before. I'd hesitate before reducing the page size though, as I think it detracts too much from quality.
By the way, when I was reading web comics myself, with slow mobile internet, I'd simultaniously open several pages on different tabs to wait less (so I could read one page while the next page was loading). Really helped me.

And thank you for pointing that out especially

Nyomi:Richardo seems like his personality would get grating if he was constantly at the level he was at the end of the chapter, but I’ll assume he won’t be.

It's one of the biggest concerns when you make a character with flawed personality, they're a dick all thee time and it's never punished, it becomes annoying.

Nyomi:I actually remembered to click on the profile this time, and… well, the profile was blank. I’ve accomplished a whole lot. I’d recommend filling that out- sometimes, if I’m on the edge about reading a comic, I’ll read the profile to see if it’s interesting- and if I see it’s blank I don’t think I’d end up reading it.

Filling the profile is also a good thing to I suppose. I didn't bother with "marketing" parts too much since I can't update on a regular basis anyway yet (which may soon enough change, by the way).
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11th Jan 2017, 5:23 PM #15
Gluma

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Can you pick me, too? Its just twenty-something pages, not nuch so far. Link in my sig.

Just tell what you honestly feel, no need to spicw$sugar things up.
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10th Jan 2017, 6:12 PM #16
Gluma

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Thank you very much!

Spoilered it because big:
[spoiler]
SunnySideUpSmile:Will you be explaining flora and fauna?

Of course, at some point.

SunnySideUpSmile:On this page, a border might help readers see the page and how it flows more easily.

I see what you mean, but I can't edit this any longer. My old HDD is dead, along with most of the work files with layer information stored on it.

SunnySideUpSmile:Finally, on this page, in the last two panels, a small border might work with separating the pages.

Well, you aren't even the only one to point it out for me. Definitely gonna do this, along with some text tweaks. (I think the exposition here is rather poorly done and feels unnatural).

SunnySideUpSmile:This page, in the 4th panel, does the bear's arm have metal bolts in it? What are those shiny silver dots?

Those are rivets in his gloves, randomly thrown in. They were meant to hold his glove together, but it doesn't really make any sense, so I guess they're decorative or something.

SunnySideUpSmile:This page really killed my eyes. What's going on in that page?

The lizard guy receives a constant flow of foxe's bragging and fantasy, illustrated. In the end, he blurps in the lizard's face and gets punched. I added it for the dialogue to feel more finished (the point was a face punch), but in the end it contrasts with all the previous stuff and doesn't flow quite well. Maybe I should desaturate it or somethink. Maybe make speech baloons instead of bobmastic large text.

SunnySideUpSmile:Also, that wolf/fox/animal whose talking to the lizard guy about the fighters, is he drunk?

Pretty much.[/spoiler]
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9th Jan 2017, 9:45 AM #17
Gluma

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30. Blessed and Damned Hardcore, please.

There isn't much story yet, what I really want to know is wether it's clear and readable, or confusing. I haven't ever done comics before, so proper pacing is quite a struggle for me.

Do a rant if you like, or rather if there's enough stuff to rant about, but short review will be fine too.


You are doing very well here, by the way. Thirty reviews and still no queue. Good job! Most reviewers get swarmed within a couple of days. Must help that reviews are short and laconic.
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6th Jan 2017, 2:23 PM #18
Gluma

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Those little baloon men are surely cute, with those palm-less limbs and no mouths, but I think the coloring could be better. It lacks the illusion of depth and colors are equally bright everywhere. You have, in fact, done this rather good here[/img], and you can do this in less spacious environment, too.



[url=http://badamned.webcomic.ws/comics/23]pum
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Result in thread: I wanna critique your shit
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5th Jan 2017, 9:50 PM #19
Gluma

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Enlist me too, there isn't too much at this point.
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Result in thread: Tapastic Style Comics Here?
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4th Jan 2017, 10:26 AM #20
Gluma

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What's the difference?
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