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Oh I agree absolutely. It's certainly not to be seen as the end all argument, but I just like that post because it contains a lot of specific examples. Looking at it with a critical eye, as with anything, is of course important.

The queer porn, I don't know, just going by the video you linked, someone got the end of a heel inserted into their vagina, which is arguably still sort of "derogatory", if you know what I mean. It depends on if you mean "queer" porn or actual porn for queer people.




I absolutely agree. Maybe I should have been more clear in my post, but I meant the stereotypical example of commercially produced porn. Certainly it does not apply to all pornographic material. I've also seen efforts for positive porn, where the actors are fairly treated and it's made sure that they are doing this because they want to, not because they are coerced into it for monetary or other reasons.

I'll take a look at your links as well.

I apologize not only for that but also for helping you derail your own thread after only two posts. I am not a very good admin.

no you're not

also noteworthy to know: Skype only sends offline messages when both parties are online at the same time. Like if I send you an offline message, and you are online, you will only get it once I am online again as well.

sorry this is not really queer related, but sorta on that topic: I can't watch porn, it just does not turn me on. Like from the way it's titled to the way it's performed, everything about it just makes me see the soulless exploitative and derogatory industry behind it. Like idk it's not even a conscious thing, but I feel like commercial porn largely tries to get men to emphathize with the idea of exploiting or dominating women. It's just not a relatable sexual experience that's being presented

you just gotta be clever about it bungy

for example, watch me questioning snarks orientation:

i think snark is facing north and i don't care what anyone says

I totally get that your heart is in the right place. Just keep in mind that people can be sensitive about their identities, so try not to sound judgemental/predisposed when asking questions. It's all good though!

I understand what you are trying to get at, but you have to be careful about how you say it. When saying, in general terms "Don't box yourself into a corner, or you might miss a chance with someone who'll be the love of your life.", then that is good advice.
But if you are responding to a certain person, it does feel like you are implicitly saying that they are boxing themselves in a corner, and that they may not be what they think they are. This is something that particularly ace people hear a lot, and implicitly or not, don't need to hear in the queer support thread. Context matters.

Oooook I think it's time for a bit of an adminly intervention here

Snarkinton has laid out some nice rules for this thread and you need to follow them:



This is not okay. Don't question other peoples identities. That is not what this thread is for.



Also generalizations about queer groups and a general accusatory tone is not welcome



And this is not okay either. Obviously you can ask questions, but please stay polite in doing so, and realize that when you ask questions in a tone like this, a subset of the people in this thread will feel attacked. Politeness and acceptance, everybody! say it with me



And this post is also a bit insensitive. Again, as stated in the rules of this thread, asking questions is fine, but please try to be polite about it. Understand that this is a sensitive topic. Saying "something doesn't make sense" is generally a big no no. Ask for clarification, but be careful about how you ask.

As a smart man once said:


Keep that in mind. When picking the tone in which you ask a question, and when picking the tone in responding to questions.

Thanks everyone

Alright, I've seen this a few times now and I would just like to remind people (and not just specifically rinkel!):

just because this is the venting thread does not mean your posts do not have to be readable.

Please use punctuation and paragraphs in your vents. Also (in this case it doesn't apply to rinkel, becuase hers was genuinely quite long) you don't need to spoiler your two paragraph vent, because it's ranty. This is the venting thread.

these are great

moo

It's here!

[spoiler][/spoiler]

baller time

Aw, shush, snark *blushes*



As I understand it, the term pansexual was created because bisexual implies that there are two genders, so pansexual was made as sort of a "replacement" for bisexual, but obviously some people just don't identify with the word in the same way they identify with bisexual, so that's why we have both. Anyone is free to correct me if I am wrong.

just to clarify, are amurderous people welcome in this thread as well, or is it only for people with a lust for blood?

i want to see one scan of that for each year since you were 12

I think it helps to think about it in these terms, yes sex can be a big part of a relationship, but every relationship is different. Swap the word sex for "procreation" and you got something someone might say about homosexuality. The secret to figuring this shit out is accepting that we are all different people who want different things, I think

which says something about the quality of your blog

someone's obsessed

welcome to CF! We are working on rehauling the interface to make it easier and stuff so if something seems particularly idiosyncratic you can always let me know and I will keep it in mind.