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I like the title.

1. Funny. A little hard to read, both due to small figures and small letters. I'd have zoomed on the figures a bit. The bear is CLEARLY a cat, and not a bear. The last balloon is very cramped, and there's no reason -- you have a TON of room for a bigger balloon. You should also try to be more consistent with balloon white space to words ratio.

2. This one's a little scattershot and dry, but what I really don't get is the super-zoom in panel 3.

3. We should see the other murderer in panel 4. I had to read it twice to figure out who was talking.

Overall: #1 was the smartest, funniest strip. The comic is mostly mildly amusing but lacks visual clarity at times. The choice of typeface and point size are eyestrain-inducing. All caps at a larger size would be much appreciated.

Mine used to be:
"The non-fanfic comic that still answers the question 'What if Wonder Woman was even MILDLY interesting?'"

Now it's:
"Life's a bitch, and then you live."


...honestly, I like the old one better.

You're welcome, and feel free to reply to any and every part if you like. THERE ARE NO RULES! EXCEPT POST YOUR BLOODY LINKS, PEOPLE!

Mine actually works this way too; it supposes that all the fantastic things we read about in comics have more or less happened, and we're all under a mass spell so we never remember it. Like the Silence in Doctor Who meets the hidden history in Planetary.

So yeah, it could all be happening RIGHT NOW.

I actually meant for the viewer to look at Oberon, down to James' dialogue, up Oberon's thigh to Cheri and her line, then to Julia's line, then down Julia's thigh to the panel two. And no, it doesn't really work; a better composition would have pushed Oberon further to panel 1's left, leaving room for James' dialogue above his own head.

What? Then screw it -- I don't have to listen to you, OLD MAN!!!

Zero Cool

Title: doesn't communicate diddly, but it's vaguely memorable, so that's good.

1. The first two panels are VERY well drawn for this sort of venture, especially the silhouette work in panel 1. The last panel is a bit slanted and mushy in its construction, and I don't know that realism is what you should be aiming for in a close-up -- I don't think it suits the style.

And, of course:


Before:


After:


/sigh.

There are other issues with the letters/balloons; in panel, his crotch is speaking to us. GOTTA AIM AT THE MOUTHS, per Will Eisner WHO IS BETTER THAN ALL OF US. COMBINED.

Also, I hate the typeface.

Also, why is he talking to himself? Jon Arbuckle usually has a cat nearby as an excuse; this guy needs an excuse.

2. Solid work here; though I'm not sure the sunglass fidgets are the most realistic reaction, they are a great metronome for the passage of time here. I'd like to see some of the props getting knocked aside in the BG.

3. Looks good, expressive. His inner elbow seems to be impressed by the damage...

4. He seems to have gotten 15 years younger with hair 10 times cooler. Also, his monologue is now thought bubbles. I hate those, but they're passable in comic strip format. If you're going to use them, you might as well turn his thoughts in the first strip into actual thoughts to match.

5. Expressive and well-told. The foreshortening in panel 2 could be better.

How are you deciding what is spoken and what is thought? It seems jumbled and inconsistent.

6. Your style(s) is/are very inconsistent here. In panel 1 he's a Venture Brother, 2 could almost have been drawn from a photoref, 3 he's somewhere between Steve Dillon and Mike Weiringo... gotta watch that. I have similar trouble; look at Cheri's face here (the short blonde cop):



...panel 1, she looks (and is) drawn from a photo, 2 she becomes a horrible cartoon, 4 she's passably realistic enough to semi-match 1, and 5 doesn't look anything like the precededing ones. My style is still stabilizing, but at least I'm aware. If you're not, then GET aware.

GET!

7. First off, this strip looks MUCH better in B&W. Second, in the top panel, WHY IS HIS INNER ELBOW SPEAKING TO US AGAIN?

Will Eisner wrote a book or two about making comics properly. Read those. Please. Everyone.

Bottom level, her shoulder speaks to us. Also, this strip ends on a promise of something else to come, but in a very flat way. It's not clear who's speaking or what's at stake, so there is no motivation to go to the next strip. None.

8. Very well done. Excellent pacing and expressive art. Style(s) is/are still inconsistent, and he appears to have flippers for arms and be melting in panel 3, but it works overall.

Overall: moody and expressive, if inconsistent, art. Solid writing, despite random flip-flops between inner and spoken dialogue. Despite the poorly paced flashback dragging the experience down, 8 ends strong and I'd like to know what happen next.

Those are cute, and very "in universe" feeling. I'm surprised they didn't invite you to continue the project on their website, which is what I'd have done in that case.

Ha, this was my response in the OTHER thread...

Every chick you see is the hottest chick in the world.

A world in which hot faerie chicks in stolen leather dresses flash their crotches at anyone and everyone? Heck YEAH, I -- oop, I just got killed by one of Eternal Knight's many horrible, evil villains.

...

Worth it.

It usually takes the experience that comes with age to produce work as clever and assured as yours.

It was in the Sunday comics BACK IN MY DAY which is 4 years older and less hip than YOUR DAY.

I'm a' gonna turn 32 in July, and I am not even slightly excited about THAT.

I will get to EVERY comic posted here. Promise. It'll be a few weeks, but PROMISE.

Oh God, I'm decades older than you, aren't I? Son of a --!

TRUTH, brother.

I hate my day job, answering phones. But I have been hired to draw someone's comic at a decent page rate -- not enough to pay the bills at the speed the project will start at, but enough to reduce my day job hours. So, yay.:)

I'll probably read it at some point; enough of your strips were impressive enough that I know there's some entertainment to be had in the middle. I got a little obsessive (as is my wont) with Datachasers; I really don't have the time to do that with every comic I review.


And that ploy works well for you, but I feel like if you choose a gag strip style, you owe the audience more consistent gag strip timing. Calvin & Hobbes was able to balance both at once. The adventure never cost us jokes, and the jokes never cost us adventure.

If this was a more dramatic venture, then it would be fine to abandon the familiarities of the pacing of the form. Or if were it were more abstract. But it's neither -- despite the clever juxtaposition of adventure in a humor format, it's fairly straightforward.

And that's fine, but because of the way it's built, ending a strip on a payoff-free AND joke free setup is just frustrating for me as a reader. It denies my expectations, but doesn't pay that off with anything new in return. A gag strip -- or comic page of any kind, really -- should never pay off before the final panel, and then leave us with no joke, no cliffhanger, no nothing but waiting for the next one.

It needs to build up to a punch; it can't just tell us there's a punch coming on the next page.

Okay, I just spent about 25 minutes or so building a queue out of the review requests. In most posts I copied for my text file, I had to dig up and copy>paste links SO, going forward:

PLEASE PUT A LINK TO YOUR COMIC IN YOUR POST.

A calm island in a raging sea of balloon randomness. You should be proud, young one.

Almost everyone has.

You should be proud though -- despite my picking approximately 1 billion nits, you're still the first person whose comic I felt DRIVEN to make a fanart for. It's truly a standout.

I hope that was helpful. And in case anyone is wondering, I could easily write a long review nitpicking my own comic. I'm aiming for perfection and coming up human, and I know that. My high horse is a sober pony.