Ugh. Sprites. Don't get me wrong, sprites can be done well, but they're way too often misused.
You aren't quite using them right. On the bright side, you seem to be using mostly original sprites, not even recolors. Some of the backgrounds and/or items seem to be from other sources, but the originality is nice.
You seem to be using a bad scale, though. Your character sprites are literally the size of a character of text. You really, REALLY ought to zoom in a bit more, at least for small, one-person-talking panels. Rule of thumb - if your speech bubble takes up more space than the character on a regular basis, you're doing one of those wrong. And you aren't really using that much text.
The editing is good, though. Better even than some of the best sprite comics I've seen. So that's good.
Also, I did see one non-sprite comic. Since you yourself have already criticized it harshly, and it seems to be a one-time thing, I'll refrain from commenting further.
But with a sprite comic, you really need good writing to carry it. That's not what I'm seeing. The writing isn't that bad, it's just very... not quite dull, but uninteresting.
Part of the problem is that I can't tell who is who. The art doesn't help - it's too small, and not very descriptive anyways. It would really help to give each character a specific font and/or text color. It shouldn't be too different, but even using Segoe Italic for one and Segoe Bold for another would help.
The other part of the problem is your pacing. You cram a bunch of text into one panel, then leave one nearly blank. It's disjointed and interrupts the flow.
Overall grade: B
B? Honestly better than I thought. The non-sprite comics isn't a one time thing just a massive work in progress, which sadly progress has been slow but I hope to expand a lot on that over the coming months and build up a nice big buffer. I'll have to give my friend your notes on Spriteoverse since he's the one who writes that...
Thanks greatly for the input! :)
This thread looks active still. Lets see if Comic Shorts can get in on a critique thread before it dies shall we? These things always die after I post in them hence why I haven't been on the forum in ages.
TCN:I'm willing to help, but I'm not sure why you need it?
Well despite the both of us having plenty of ideas I personally have a problem with connecting mine together. I'll be sure to message you with where I'm currently stuck story wise so you can get a better idea of what I mean.
Oh hey forgot about this topic, heh heh busy weekend ^^;
If any of you are still interested I'll send you a message when I have time and go more into detail about where I am with the current issue, where I'm stuck, and what concept I need help like... flowing the story into.
I'd suggest visiting our wiki page and reading up on The Comic Shorts Universe, The Lost Ones, and Nexus Innovators. (all are linked to on the main page in the link there)
It'd probably help to read about Lysander Edison Laboratories for future stuff but for the current episode it probably won't play a very big role.
You'll have to bare with me, if you really want to help with the writing of Comic Shorts you'll need to understand some of the concepts that we've been developing for the future of the series and see if it's something you feel you can contribute to.
I suppose I should also mention that the genre is definitely sci-fi so if that's not a genre you do well with... you know...
As the title says I'm considering looking for another co-author. Someone else to help out with solidifying ideas for the plot of Comic Shorts.
I have this problem when I write my comic. It seems I can come up with point A and start an idea, and I can come up with point C and have ideas further down the road, but I'm constantly missing the all important point B that connects the ideas together. I have varied plans for the next 6 issues of CSR but no idea how to connect the ideas together and progress with the actual story.
If anyone is interested let me know and we can discuss what I have planned so far and hopefully connect the ideas in a way that's both interesting and makes sense (in that special kind of way that only makes sense when it's Comic Shorts). Again though this is a possible thing, I'm not 100% sure if I'll be needing more help yet but I'd at least like to know if someone is interested and see what ideas they can contribute after they hear what we have so far on the entire backstory of Comic Shorts.
BAFrederick:I have quite a few comments on the art, but since you requested to not have your art critiqued I do have comments about various other qualities/elements of your strips.
Like I said I've definitely improved since the 100 episodes of "the main series." Just look at CSR
Your paneling. Anything with more than six panels I begin to exclude as being a 'short'. That is not an official rule, but it's my own take. Most strongly though, this is effecting your jokes. You take longer than needed to get to the punch and when you get there you extend it for some odd number of panels, making the joke itself very drawn out. On many of them it seems more like ranting than a gag, like you started without a clear idea of where you were heading. With all this anyone looking for a quick laugh/gag is likely to lose interest very quickly by the sluggishness of it.
Well the comic isn't meant to be gag a day and honestly most of these first 100 issues were pretty much just whatever came to mind. (There was a story at the end but due to long periods of not doing anything I totally lost where I was going with it...) And on that note they weren't designed to really be a web comic, main reason I put them up is so people have some back story to our newer comics. (If they want to put themselves through that torture anyways. Though hopefully I'll be able to reintroduce and explain all our old characters well enough in my next 6 planned issues that reading these 100 comics is unnecessary.)
But less ranting and rambling, got it! Actually I've realized this problem and have already began working on cutting down on the wordy-ness of things while working on the script for my next comic. (Yes planning things out is good I hear...)
Another thing that will make a reader lose interest is the way the panels are set up with the addition of the dialog arrangement. Your setup seems pretty chaotic in most of the pages and my eyes struggle in keeping along with the sequence of panels.
Honestly I personally don't see much wrong with the paneling beyond the fact that it is boring, there's the occasional issue that may be confusing but for the most part it's right to left top to bottom rectangle-like shapes with little variation in shape and size through most of the series. But I will keep in mind to keep panels and dialog easy to follow.
I like your web layout. That part is very clean.