Escalation. Parenting wise, this is what i'm all about. I never take anything away from my children that they actually need. Food, clothes and shelter are needs. Love is a need specificaly as much as dicipline is. And you can't have one without the other or else you fuck up the delicate balance that is a parent/child relationship.
Your job as a parent, should you wish to accept it, is to NOT be your child's friend until he becomes a consenting adult. You're not there for thier pleasure, you're there for thier future. You're the manure that will make your children blossom into a strong and independant lifeform. So anything you give your children will be used to become who they'll eventually be. If you give them too much leeway and not enough restraint, they'll be crawling until they die. It's as simple as that.
For a family to function in a learning environment, authority is primordial. The second you let the inmates run the asylum, you fail at your very function as a parent. Children need to learn that escalation works both ways. The more they do as they are told, the more pleasant their lives get to be. The less they do as they are told, the shittier their lives inevitably get. This is simple Cause and Effect 101. This is a basic living fact. They need to learn that very early in their lives or else they'll be pummeled by it the second they try to fly on their own.
Am i a strict parent? I've been called a tyrant depending on the situation. But i don't hesitate for a second to reward my children and explode with enthusiasm when they make me proud. To this day, my kids love me and get a glitter in their eyes when i tell them how proud i am of them. They feel a genuine sense of accomplishment when they have done something right, and that just naturally paves the way of encouragement for them to continue on being example children even when i'm not around to supervise. But when they do something they damn well know they shouldn't, they regret ever getting the idea in the first place. I have never physically hit my children, and i never will because i taught my children to never use physical violence unless it was used in self defense. I'm not about to tell my children one thing and then show them i don't have to abide by it.
Every punishment i ever gave to my children was on the same scale of escalation their acts were on. I use my own judgement to establish how bad of a punishment my children deserve. On my mental chart, utterly destroying my children's material things is an extreme option, but a most definitive one, should they do something so aweful that they deserve to completely loose what they cherish most. Taking it away just so they can get it back is for lesser acts. I won't hesitate taking a 40lbs sledgehammer to my daughter's laptop if say... she had purposely severly harmed someone in any way. But for what his daughter did, i feel shooting up her laptop with a shotgun was a bit much. My children at least have freedom of speech, especially behind my back, so long as they are respectful in my or anybody's face. But that's just my POV, on my own chart. I think he's pushing it. But i guess i do live in Canada so, different strokes for different folks from different burgs.
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Giddy up!