I am bored. I would like to help people by critiquing their comics/their comic site. I do not have any proper experience in the area, but I can have pretty strong opinions. Also I had to do a web-design course once, so I know what looks pretty (even if the background for my comic is pretty lame, don't judge my thoughts on that, it's... semi temporary... till I find something that works).
So, fire at will, send me some sweet comic links.
(I will try and read the whole thing if they are long, but if I really can't get into it, I'll try my best)
Now... Not usually a fan of stick figure comics... or gag-a-days... (I did have a quick look to see what else you’ve done, and I was more interested to look at your other ones... because... they were colourful and more alluring to me (don’t know what they’re about or anything though, just looked at a few pages of them to look at the style compared to this one), but I’m doing this one, so yeah).
And still not one, sorry.
The humour... has potential, there were a few I smiled at, but the majority I disliked. It was either because it was “been done” or referenced something I didn’t get (maths... among other things).
I was amazed at how many guest comics you had though, so I assume all these other people like it and have a similar humour to you, so I guess that’s good.
I think the layout you have for this comic is appropriate and good, the colours work well and it’s simple and clean, like most of your comic strips (though the hand drawn ones put me off a bit, were jarring to the layout and previous strips, they were more messy and unclean, so it felt out of place).
You don’t have a button for archive. So I had no idea how many there were, which.... although it is a gag-a-day strip, it annoyed me. Like it had no end. Also if I liked some I wouldn’t be able to go back and find them quickly if I wanted to show someone. Your layout does look good without these links, just a thought I had, because it seems impractical not to have these buttons.
Not my kind of thing, some made me smile, but none made me laugh.
OKAY, so I have been meaning to read this for ages.
But (since you want brutal honesty) I was put off by it. It wasn’t the art, I liked the art. It was just...
I think it was that you were setting up such a big story and my mind took a double take and thought “Okay got to prepare and remember things so it all makes sense”, and there was a lot of information to fit in there. Felt like Hector at the start really. A lot going on and I’m sitting here thinking... huh?
Though, now that I think about it... if you were intending the audience thinks like him at the start, so they can relate to the character... that’s pretty clever. If not, then... tell the reader more about what's going on. I like mystery, but I don't like being confused.
But now I’ve got past page 20, I feel like my brain is handling it okay.
(Love the layout though, buttons and header are brilliant).
By page 40 I felt like I was into it. Probably not a good thing, having to get through this invisible barrier to get into the story, my co-creator of my comic agreed with the fact it was hard to get into. Takes will power.
Also, I think you’re attempting to add humour into the seriousness of the story with some of the expressions http://nosongs.thecomicseries.com/comics/45 Hector has silly faces a lot, I can’t decide whether I like or dislike this. I will get back to you on that as I keep reading.
You draw hair good.
Sometimes there are specs of colour that are not supposed to be there, that should have been rubbed out, that frustrates me.
Personally I liked the hand-written font better than the one that’s at http://nosongs.thecomicseries.com/comics/118 this place. I don’t like the dots in the Os or the lines under the is. It makes it harder to read (distracting) and frustrates me majorly.
Oh good it left. That is good.
Oh no it came back. But the art got better, so, you win some you lose some (yay the specs have gone too).
OKAY. SO. I dislike Miranda’s character. Mostly because, I dislike many female characters in things, but also because, so far... to me it seems, even though I know the story is in no way finished, that she is very powerful with little faults. She is beautiful, she is affectionate to her un-dead husband and she has magic powers. Even though I love her character design, I dislike her personality because I do not get the badass vibes from her.
Okay so. What needs to happen. You need more pages so I can sort in my head what I think of Miranda. Because, I’m not happy with the feelings I have for her because she annoys me. And if I dislike main characters it turns me off.
Get a new font please. Or you don’t have to, you shouldn’t just do things to make me happy but I feel... even though it suits the vibe of the comic it is annoying to get a flow of reading with it.
Hector is all kinds of good.
Romeo is, also confusing in my head, but I’m sure when the story progresses, that will get sorted too (his clothes in relation to the way he is confuses me...). I think I dislike him? I don’t know? But I don’t feel like me disliking him would turn me off the comic like my dislike for Miranda does. Not 100% if I like or dislike him. It’s difficult, but eventually I’ll work out which this feeling is.
Subscribe?: Yes, I’m a sucker for complex stories, and I want to know what’s happening next.
Lots is going on, many, many things. I hope I will be able to keep up with it all!
You can start with Chapter 2 if you don't feel like reading the whole thing, haha.
Also I want to do a new layout so any advice on that and what I should avoid doing will help as well. xD;;
(( PS - I'm so drawing Algae for your competition. Tall Lankyboys ~ ))
ANOTHER I’VE BEEN MEANING TO READ FOR AGES.
((Oh goody :3 I can’t wait to see him in your art style... you should some how put some lovely gore in it... please... if possible, you are the gore goddess))
I will start with the layout.
The background is unappealing.
1.When it starts to repeat, when the screen is too big, it looks unprofessional. I would suggest either having one shade on bottom layer with pictures on top, or making the top and bottom of the image you make for the background run into each other... like a gradient wave or something.
2.Also it doesn’t run sideways well (I have a big screen), maybe do the same for the horizontal and vertical.
3.The images on it look like you stamped with loads of different brushes. They probably relate to your story but I don’t know yet cause I haven’t read it. The stars are tacky though. The roots coming down are a good idea. Maybe work with them in some way? I’ve seen a few random pages and there is a lot of blood, maybe the root things could morph into vein-like things, running over the background.
4.Whatever you do, keep it simple, so you don’t detract the viewer too much from the comic. Cause the comic is where you put all the good things in.
Banner is good, I like the buttons inside it. Coool. Also the buttons below it too are good. Good fonts, good blood splatter.
The font colour in the comments should be white...? Maybe it could look good. Try it out and see. That’s only a minor detail anyway.
Okay, story time.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
http://demented.thecomicseries.com/comics/9 ahsdaksdasjkhdasd, The first panel is too hard to read. BUT I WILL NOT JUDGE TILL I GET TO THE END. I have seen later pages and if I remember right... you got away from this.
The Comic Sans left. That was nice. New font is okay I guess (at page 20ish).
No more of the explosion shapes please. The looks like things you make on Power-Points with word art and crazy transitions involved.
Okay, okay. I stopped my commentary while reading and just read till the end.
Personally I dislike the translucent speech bubbles; it does make reading a lot less smooth feeling. Either full colour, or make less translucent. Also finding a good font may be good; I like it when you use different ones to portray anger. Keep away from the basic thought bubbles... I think they look a bit tacky. Also the crazy explosion-star-burst shapes, or make them... less... uh. Make the points shorter? That could help.
I am liking chapter 2 better than the first one. The overall thing looks more polished than it did before. The first had so, so, so many chibis. But I get that is what you do, and I suppose it works. Maybe tone it down though.
Story as a whole: A lot going on there, but I am interested to see what happens. Mostly for the gore. The gore is lovely. You do lovely gore. Keep up the lovely gore.
Subscribe?: Come for the gore and hopefully I’ll stay for the story once I get into it more.
Yes, I am trying to tone a lot of the humor and chibis down since I want it to be slightly more serious than it previously was, but sometimes it's hard keeping so serious for so long haha. Must find that perfect balance.
Oooh, okay thanks for the tips on the layout too.
I know it's a bit too much just needed a second opinion on it.
AND OF COURSE I WILL DRAW A GORE-FILLED ALGAE.
At least I will attempt to.
I saw on your art blog showing him in a giant test tube thing and it made me wanna draw somethin' similar. x]
Know the feeling. If I was drawing my comic I'd have crazy, sillies all over the show, I can't stay focused long enough to be serious (and that is why my friend does the drawings, she is good at the seriousness). Balance is key :) But that's cool that you're going down the more serious route.
Sorry if I seemed a bit harsh about the layout, but from your banner and buttons and think once the background is sorted you'll have a really solid layout that will be really cool.
http://booksdontworkhere.thecomicseries.com/comics/26 Same poses, re-used. That makes me as a reader feel like you aren't really invested in this because you couldn't be bothered to draw more poses for each panel. This happens quite a lot. That is bad. I did look at your more recent stuff, and that seems to happen less, also it is less pixely, improved art and effort I guess. Expect the speech bubbles still got them pixels... Do you add the speech bubbles in on MS paint?
34- 38 were too wordy, too much words with pictures that weren't interesting enough so the words took over.
Sorry but I really could not get into this at all. It was too difficult. I got to about page 53, but I started skim reading pages because it got too painful.
Not trying to be mean, and not make the effort to read all of your comic, but you seem to not make the effort with the comic. Was hard to get into, with all the mistakes and copy-pastes.
^ for that bit there that is being pointed at ^^^^ I went to some recent stuff and it does seem that you are putting a lot more effort in, which is good, but it would still be hard for a new reader to come into, with whats at the start. So yeah, ou do make an effort. But if a new reader like me came along, they might think you are lazy. I'm glad you do put more time and effort in now. That is good.
I kind of liked what you were trying to do with the character talking to the author, but that wasn't captivating enough for me to read on.
Oh oh oh, layout tips!
It is very cluttered with ads, I understand you gotta make money, but can you somehow align them up nicer with the rest of everything. Alignment is a big thing. Things are all over the place.
Banner is okay I guess, but maybe make the background for it be different to the main background, so it looks separate, like a heading. Though it doesn't really matter.
But it’s a really polished comic and you obviously have a whole lot of story to come with it.
One thing I particularly liked was that you have a bald chick in it. Loads of bald people. Awesome, you aren’t relying on hair to help express the character or the emotion. It is gooood. Also you don’t just want a bunch of pretty people; you want to tell a story. I like people who do that. Keep that up.
The first bit with the scientist lady was a bit hard to get my head around because I had to process a lot of information, but it wasn’t an awful amount and it was good and informative of what is going on. Could possibly be toned down a bit, but I felt it was fine here at the start. If it was all the way through like that I might be inclined to stop reading though.
Yes. It is good. Not much more I can say.
Subscribe?: Yes, sure, I want to see where this is going. But... where is the subscribe button? I feel stupid but I really can't find it on the page.
But it's in "Genre: Gag-a-day", it's not really Gag-a-day???
EDIT: Also... black writing on the archive page is impossible to read, please change to different font colour.
There are just next and previous ones, that’s a bit annoying when you first start reading it.
Okay layout... Background is fine, I accept that you don’t have control over that adverts colour so I’ll ignore it. Banner is tiny, tiny, and there are a crazy amount of share buttons. I guess the serve a purpose, but there’s just so many and it looks cluttered.
Oh a chatbox?? I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I personally don’t like it, but if it works for you, cool.
Okay now on to the comic.
Actually I think I started reading this once before, it looks familiar.
I. Like. Big. Noses.
Also I like the handwritten font, it suits your art and the story well. Colour scheme as well, maybe too much use of dotty shading at times though. Less is more, usually.
Though sometimes it is hard to tell what’s going on in panels with this colouring and lining: http://toaoap.thecomicseries.com/comics/9 < example, last panel. I can’t really tell at all what is going on there...
http://toaoap.thecomicseries.com/comics/20/ < A bit too much text and stuff going on, makes it a bit hard to focus on the actual dialogue text, rather than the stuff in the background... Could you have put a wash/filter over top of the webpage thing to make it darker, so you could still read if interested, but so the speech bubbles was more obvious?
@DaMoreFishy: awwww, I see there's no much to critique. I should really get my head into and update more often! Thanks for the kindly advices: I am apply all the fix suggested (also, my bad: I forgot the subscribe button ^^; )
You pronounce sentence upon me with greater fear than I receive it. ~ Giordano Bruno.