"Some mediocre short story I've written", 27th May 2012, 2:23 AM #1
So this is kind of embarrassing, as I've never thought of myself as a good writer. But I never show my writings to anyone, so I don't really know if I am a good writer or not. This is pretty much the only internet community I actively participate in, and I don't think you all are so mean, so I decided to show it to you guys :)
This was for an assignment in my English class, and I decided to share it. My teacher seemed to like it, but I would never know if it's actually good unless real people (teachers tend to say nicer things then their real thoughts may suggest) take a look at it. It's really short, because it had to be less than 400 words (and thus may be a bit choppy).
So here it is:
Oh geez, maybe I'll end up regretting this. Bleh.
This was for an assignment in my English class, and I decided to share it. My teacher seemed to like it, but I would never know if it's actually good unless real people (teachers tend to say nicer things then their real thoughts may suggest) take a look at it. It's really short, because it had to be less than 400 words (and thus may be a bit choppy).
So here it is:
It was about sunset, and the thick clouds that had been choking the sky were retreating rapidly, driven by the wind that angrily beat upon it to exile. The red rays of the sun flickered like fire at the point of ignition as the clouds covered and uncovered them while passing.
Underneath, a girl was peeking out the window of an old apartment building, staring at this magnificent scenery made by nature. While she was still gaping at the sun, she heard a loud racket coming from below. People were shouting and talking, standing around an object that she could not see as there was a dense crowd around it. Then a familiar scream ripped through the air, and after hearing this, she decided to turn her attention from the sunset for a while and go down to see what had happened.
She ran as quickly as she could to the site of the trouble, and managed to tear her way through the crowd. Then she gasped after seeing what was in the center of the crowd, and wished that she hadn’t let curiosity lead her to this site. There lied a crude shape of a human, partly incinerated and partly broken from a heavy fall. Up above, she saw smoke arising from the window of a building, carrying away the life of the dead away with it. She concluded that the piteous creature had caught herself on fire, and in an attempt to escape from it, she had jumped down the window.
The identity of the poor thing could not be made out, and curiosity again drove her to ask one of the bystanders, “Who is this person? What happened?” None answered her, as if they hadn’t heard. One by one, they left the scene, after having resolved their own curiosity about the event. However, one man, dressed in queer black suit, wearing a pair of old glasses, remained. She approached this uncanny man and asked again, “Sir, do you know who it is?” He turned to her, smiled, and said, “Well, of course, it’s you, obviously!”
Something licked her nose at that moment. Something hot. The girl opened her eyes, and found herself lying on the apartment floor, with the greedy arms of the flames already wound around her body.
Underneath, a girl was peeking out the window of an old apartment building, staring at this magnificent scenery made by nature. While she was still gaping at the sun, she heard a loud racket coming from below. People were shouting and talking, standing around an object that she could not see as there was a dense crowd around it. Then a familiar scream ripped through the air, and after hearing this, she decided to turn her attention from the sunset for a while and go down to see what had happened.
She ran as quickly as she could to the site of the trouble, and managed to tear her way through the crowd. Then she gasped after seeing what was in the center of the crowd, and wished that she hadn’t let curiosity lead her to this site. There lied a crude shape of a human, partly incinerated and partly broken from a heavy fall. Up above, she saw smoke arising from the window of a building, carrying away the life of the dead away with it. She concluded that the piteous creature had caught herself on fire, and in an attempt to escape from it, she had jumped down the window.
The identity of the poor thing could not be made out, and curiosity again drove her to ask one of the bystanders, “Who is this person? What happened?” None answered her, as if they hadn’t heard. One by one, they left the scene, after having resolved their own curiosity about the event. However, one man, dressed in queer black suit, wearing a pair of old glasses, remained. She approached this uncanny man and asked again, “Sir, do you know who it is?” He turned to her, smiled, and said, “Well, of course, it’s you, obviously!”
Something licked her nose at that moment. Something hot. The girl opened her eyes, and found herself lying on the apartment floor, with the greedy arms of the flames already wound around her body.
Oh geez, maybe I'll end up regretting this. Bleh.
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update mon/wed/Fri
Back with vengeance :P
update mon/wed/FriBack with vengeance :P