Comic Fury Webcomic Hosting - DataChasers - open for Critics

If anyone wants to critique my comic i would appreceate it. the first half of it is before i started useing the comic page format. let me know what you think ( yes its a CGI comic )

DataChasers

Girl, I going to say some thing before I critique this...Next time you ask for feed back like this...

Your comic right now is intimidating...
Remember 600+ pages is a lot all at once. Some of us are really busy people. For future reference.

Give me a week or so and I'll see if I can give you a thorough critique.

HAHAH - I know i'm sorry - i dont expect anyone to go back and read all 600+ pages - however the first hundred or so are single panel "pages" before i changed formats. when ever - :D thank you for looking at it. im curious to see what is said, something from besides a friend.

well the characters all look pretty stiff, dead and lifeless, and their mouths are always the same shape when they're talking.

Also there's way too much text on alot of the pages, this combined with the stiff dead people made me tune out pretty fast.

o-k , hmm ill try to fix that , i assume you mean all the way though? or just lately- too much text, ok. thank you. taken under advisement.

I don't have much time to look through it now, but plan on flipping through the more recent pages later.

But I wanted to just say I am really impressed with your panel layouts. They are interesting and dramatic in a way that I would not expect from a comic made from CG characters like yours. Anyway, I will review better latter, but that was the initial thing I noticed.

thank you on that , i try to experiment here and there, i did use a crappy one panel layout when i started. bu8t that got old.
and im looking forward to seeing it, so far ive gotten one " its too wordy" and they look stiff and dead... uh a few are.
and others are machines >_< no frame of refernce so im not sure if they are talking about the andriods or the humans . not that some of the humans dont act like machines *points at marcus* :D anyway looking forward to it.

Yeah, I should be able to give you a more detailed review, with pages/panels for things that are good or I think are problematic.

I have read 150 pages and at the moment if I was reading it page by page it might seem a little slow but reading massive chunks at a time it does seem to move at a good pace.

The art is well done. At times it does look a little unnatural in their body position.The body shapes are all the same though. If you diversify the body shapes it will make the world seem more real.

I'll give your some more when I finish reading but it's pretty good.

I have read 150 pages and at the moment if I was reading it page by page it might seem a little slow but reading massive chunks at a time it does seem to move at a good pace.

The art is well done. At times it does look a little unnatural in their body position.The body shapes are all the same though. If you diversify the body shapes it will make the world seem more real.

I'll give your some more when I finish reading but it's pretty good.

[/QUOTE]

Noted on the body shapes.. same with the poses. thank you.
:D looking forward to hearing more.

First, I love the title. Just sounds cool.

It's the most "human" of the computer model comics I've seen here. And the design work is GREAT. I like every building, character, costume, face, etc. I've seen in my skimming.

No matter what scene I drop into, the characters are engaging. Always good.

The pacing panel to panel works well; I would prefer if the end of each page was more of a natural break/cliffhanger (no matter how small i.e. simply leaving a question unanswered 'til the next page), something I really strive for in my comic.


I don't like the giant blocks of narration, or just info? I'm not sure. But the audience usually needs less backstory than a writer thinks they do. But this project is pretty huge -- should I be thinking of it like a giant illustrated novel perhaps, with more novelistic interludes? As much as I don't care for the giant exposition/backstory text blocks, I like that they're more over shots of the future city than anything else.

I don't like the thought balloons. Most of this is unnecessary and distracting, and anything that isn't would be better served in straight dialogue or action (IMO).

The lettering... I get that you're going for some variety to identify the androids, but I really don't think it's necessary. I don't like the typeface.

But the larger issue is one of professional placement, i.e. leaving enough room for balloons and not covering important elements with them. I NEVER let a balloon cover part of a character unless absolutely necessary.


It's good though. I'll read it in order at some point.

- thank you ,this is very helpful .

i know theres a LOT of poser / DS / cgi, comics out there ,and a lot of venom toward them. im hoping that i can make them "better" and more "mine" apperenetly im succeeding a bit :D ,

ill try to work on the balloon issue never really noticed that. the type face ,i wanted a more "mechanical" blend something to set them apart from the regular humans , my writer friend came up with the typeface ( i was useing something far less readable before, and the colored word baloons for them . think its bad enought to change, or just a personal thing?

yeah K really gets into writing shes more of a novella type writer , useally expounding on what ive thrown togather as a simple script. ill relay this to her. the ending part -page to page is also something im working on - making this a text file so i can keep it in mind :D awesome review thank you !!

:)

You are. Despite my handful of critiques, it really is an engaging comic.


One of my favorite non-ComicFury webcomics, Dynagirl, has the same issue. It drives me insane; the balloons really should be subservient to the rest of the finished image. I like to "hear" them more than "see" them, if that makes sense.


I would just do straight comic book lettering, partly to make it a little more organic. And when I think of androids, I don't think of overly robotic or mechanical speech. I think of Mr. Data and the AI droids from AI. Even C3PO sounds like a normal guy over a radio or in a tin can. But the typeface is very readable, so it's not make or break.



Yeah, just always leave the reader wanting (needing) more. Even when I wrap a scene, it's usually A. unsolved in some way and B. ties into the next somehow.

Biggest issue though is the balloons overlapping the characters. The comic will look miles more professional by changing just that one thing, and most people wouldn't even really know why, but they'd still know.