Hi there. c: Basicaly, it's what it says on the tin. I'm looking for a bit of critique on my current - and longest-lasting - comic. I'll take any kind of comment, I suppose, but I would like it if they were mainly constructive criticism. If you decide to do so, I thank you right here and now.
Alice Reloaded Every Alice has their Wonderland, you know. And Alice Harker's Wonderland is different from the rest; its inhabitants are convinced she's going to become their saviour, and they won't tell her from what, except that's it's very dark. Very frightening. And very, very dangerous.
Genre: Fantasy/Drama Audience: Everybody
Another variant on Alice in Wonderland, yes. I'm trying hard not ot make it another cliche, though. My intent is to make it darker, not bloodier. It's more psychological, or at least it attempts to be.
Okay so, I am an artist first and foremost so I can't offer much in the way of insights when it comes to writing. However, I feel you're gonna have to work hard to make this anything different from other such stories because there is a lot of them already. And most of them are also done in a manga-style. So you've got a tough premise to work from, if you wanna make something unique. It's still too early for me to make any calls on the writing, there wasn't much characterization apart from the boy (who's name we didn't even find out yet)and Alice are not on great terms with each other. So, so far there's been little characterization. One thing to beware is not to introduce too many characters at once, or before you develop any of the old chars, especially considering that Wonderland has so many characters.
About the art, well, I think your biggest thing to focus on is the basics; anatomy and perspective. Also try not to stick too much to the visual tropes of shojo manga, the broken lines, focusing too much on the face and eyes at the expense of everything else, lack of backgrounds and jarring overly dramatic or goofy facial expressions. Not saying you have all those, just saying try to avoid em. Also work on your consistency, now it fluctuates a lot and it makes reading kinda hard sometimes.
I also did some redlining. Some of em are just minor nitpicks, but something to look out for.
If there's ONE thing you should take in from this pic, it's the use of cross to align the proportions of the facial features.
TLDR; don't forget to establish your chars, try to avoid the path beaten by other Alice comics before, train anatomy and perspective.
Hope this helped ya and good luck on your future endeavors in sequential storytelling!
Next, who should I watch out for on this site(the trolls people, who are the freaking trolls),
It is fairly engaging and well-characterized considering how little we've seen so far. Love Cheshire.
I don't like the lettering/balloon style, and I especially don't like when the balloons overlap any of the characters. I draw balloons and lettering in blue pencil on my originals to make sure I have room for them when i go to letter on my computer.
The manga effects are okay for what they are; I really liked the one with the cat eyes.