Comic Fury Webcomic Hosting - Old friends perhaps becoming new?

The strangest thing happened not more than 10 minutes ago, I was out for a walk as I often am and some red truck comes by me and slows down, after momentarily signalling to go down to where my house is. At first I was figuring (paranoid that I am) Oh goody, i'm gonna get shot by a paintball gun or something aren't I?

Actually in the truck were 2 old friends from my early years in highschool, I havent seen them in forever yet they recognized me and pulled over.

So apparently they're both back in the city and have been searching for me at least once to catch up.

Now, mind you it's been close to about a year since I cut myself off from everyone else, and 6 months I have truly been utterly alone (As I wanted)

So I dunno...I have no reason to dislike the idea of having friends again but I really dunno HOW to relate on that level anymore.


They're both two good guys, and im pretty sure im going to try and get in touch with people again, but I just wanted to know what you guys think.

Social Isolation is never a good thing in my book. It's one of those things that it might seem nice while you've got it, but when you don't want it anymore, it's a hard mantle to shrug off. I'm all for my moments of quiet where I can have some time without worrying about what anyone else is going to say or do, but I'm also doing my best to develop relationships with people the rest of the time.

I only just broke that line and began trying to shrug it off like you said

Im just nervous im gonna somehow begint o view future friendships as "tainted" as I have in the past.

Yeah social isolation is really not good and I'm not sure why you would do it on purpose. I moved back to Ohio last year and I don't know anyone in town anymore. I work by myself most of the time and I don't go out to often. And it's frustrating. I can't tell you how much I could use a hug. So yeah, get in touch with these guys, get in touch with new people! You're young, no point in being an old hermit

My best friend was fooling with my ex a little when we were dating and then A LOT when we broke up, no fucking respect for me at all,and later had a huge breakdown and dumped it all on me, also he did it at my workplace so I had to quit (people started treating me like "That guy with the fucked up friends" or just a bad seed) So I kinda just slammed on the brakes, gave the world a finger and cut all ties

Im not one for drama, I avoid it like the plague

I guess it is all in your perspective... I find that as much as I wanted to believe I was a jaded misanthropist in my younger days, I prefer to surround myself with people that I like for some reason or another... They have their flaws, and I don't always agree with everything that they say, but the times that we do click, it is worth the times that we don't...

Again, this is how I feel, what I believe... You have to find what you believe for yourself. Perhaps you're perfectly okay with being a hermit in order to avoid the negative aspects that might creep up in a friendship... It's just not for me anymore. The joy that I take from sharing my life is one that I would not trade, even when the bad parts are taken into consideration...

If you're interested in a great fantasy story that has some relevancy to the topic, try Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (the guy who did the last Wheel of Time book)... A part of the hero's journey is discovering the value of friendship over self-interest.

*edit after seeing your most recent stuff* It's even more relevant, because it is also about the quality of life difference in trusting with risk vs avoiding being hurt but losing out on something else... It really is an awesome story on it's own, filled with a magic system that is probably my favourite ever, bar none, a lot of tropes turned on their head and just fantastic storytelling ... I don't want to give you an idea that it's all message and no medium... It's a fantastic read on it's own, but as a guy who had trouble trusting people, that aspect of the book hit home pretty hard.

It's pretty well documented that we are social animals and not only crave company, but on some level, we need it. It's not healthy to socially isolate yourself, and if you feel a need to do it, it is indicative of a deeper problem. I went through a similar thing at some point, I think a lot of us do, but it's not something you should work to cultivate. If people are reaching out to you, there's no reason to reject them outright -- just try to relax and have some fun in a comfortable setting, and see how you feel. We're naturally inclined to enjoy other people's company. After all, that's why we spend all our times on these forums, right?

That's rough. I agree with the whole avoiding drama thing, but I don't consider isolation any better an alternative.

I say you should try and reconnect with some friends, and try not to assume the worst.

Well that sounds great and something worth pursuing but if it was somehow wrong to turn my back on two people who used me as a crutch and spat on my trusting nature I dont think i'll ever change my nature

Okay, so your friend was a dick, and your ex was a slut. That's no reason to punish yourself. I've been there before, I've been cheated on, I've been betrayed by best friends. Doesn't mean I'm going to swear off people. Shit happens, people fuck you over, but there are also good people that will have your back you just have to weed through the assholes. And if someone screws you over tell them off, scream at them, punch them in the face. Stand up for yourself, let people know not to fuck with you. Not just to come off like some hard ass, but to build your own confidence. From what I know about you through the forums you're a good guy, and unfortunatly good guys usually get taken advantage of. So find some middle ground, still be the good guy you are, but don't take any shit

I don't mind people being around, it's when they start talking to me that I have to get the hell out of there. Usually because they want to talk while I'm busy doing something like pushing the last person that bothered me under a moving bus.

It's not wrong to cut out the people who are such a negative.. It might be wrong to cut out everyone else because they might just possibly one day hurt you in a similar fashion... You got worked over. It sucks, I would be pretty upset if it happened to me too. But denying yourself the pleasures that come with positive social interaction just makes the screw job that much worse... They've caused you pain and suffering by their actions, but you've been allowing them to basically sour an entire portion of your life... That's compounding what they've done, and hasn't done you any favours...

I'd suggest some CBT, if you know anyone who can do it for a low price / free.. If not, as an exercise, ask yourself whether your current course genuinely makes you happy, and why you feel that way. If it is revenge, I tell you, you're not accomplishing your goal. If they even remember you, it certainly isn't as "That poor guy that we were unkind to", it's probably something derogatory... So why let them have that control over your future? They are your past, learn from it and move on, but giving up the social aspect of your life out of fear of something similar happening again is not moving on, it's hiding in fear.

A million times yes to this. The name of the game is being assertive.

I like Rob's idea. It really isn't healthy to keep all that to yourself. People can't get the impression its okay to do this to you, or that it would be easy to. I'm sorry to hear about your history, but I'm glad to see you're slowly but steadily going in the right path.

A path probably leading into a bar so that we can all drink together one day.

Fuck you!

I've always been a recluse. My summer before my first year of high school was spent entirely alone (relatively speaking, I had my family). My family was moving; we sold our house and spent two months living with my grandparents who live in the Middle of Nowhere. Crazy things happen there. So I spent all that time either reading or on the internet.

When we had finally settled into our new house and I started school, I had to resist the urge to say "LOL" aloud anytime somebody said something funny. x_x

Wise words. I've got friends who I know I could count on to wire me $1000, no questions asked if I told them I genuinely needed it... They are the same people that I'd give my last nickle to if they needed it badly enough... I've got friends who I can count on to have my back no matter what comes down the line, and I've even got friends that I know I can't count on, who wont be there for me if I need it, but are fun to hang around when it's good for both of us.

That's fine too.. Having people around me that I enjoy having around me doesn't happen without a few bad apples having to be removed... Someone goes too far off the deep end? Can't be bothered to make even the slightest effort to keep in touch? Makes me feel like I am completely without merit? That's fine... Because I've got the people around me who do like me, who do care about me, and do enjoy my company. A few bad apples, in this case, do not spoil the bunch.. They are just easier to get rid of, because I don't have to worry about starving.

You guys do have a good point, I have been just making things worse, compounding the effects. I need to start getting back out in the world.I've been considering moving, maybe that'll do me some good as well as just reconnecting with some old old friends.


Oh and, whats CST?

Sir, that was unnecessary. I shall be contacting my lawyers, post haste. I assume you can show yourself out. Good day to you, sir.

I spent from january until september as a bit of a recluse (except for my family). I had dropped out of university and was waiting for college to start. From January until April all my friends were out of town attending school. Once they got back it was a bit better, but I was still in the middle of nowhere. It was an hour's bike ride to any friends' houses, and I don't have my license.

Now that I'm at school and seeing people every day I'm much happier. I don't know how you pulled that off for a whole year Ferix, I was going stir crazy after 2 months.

EDIT: Ferix, you're heading off to school soon, aren't you? That'll probably be good. It's always nice to be in a setting where you know everyone around you has at least one common interest (even if it's just hating the 3rd period teacher :P).