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Yesterday, 10:56 AM #1
Chernobog

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Posts: 39
Registration date: 5th Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Many years ago, I used to maintain a 3 update per week schedule. It went to 2 after a while.

Of course, life happened. And burn out. I dislike it immensely, but now I only do a once per week update and I struggle with that sometimes. The motivation wanders sometimes. Occasionally, I wish I was exploring other projects. I lose confidence some days and can't draw straight enough. And my numbers are awful, I used to reach five to ten times as much on Duck, although that's not a knock to this place.

So why? I have a need to accomplish something. As much as possible, I need to feel like I've done something. My work is utterly thankless on all fronts. I feel guilty at times for just trying to enjoy myself with a game. I was told many times when I was younger that I was lazy, untalented, and a bum, despite having worked voluntarily since I've been in elementary school. I've never been good enough, never achieved much as far as anyone above me was concerned.

And there's my other reason. I need to give a middle finger whenever possible to the external knobs who look at me as nothing. They don't know me. When I do a weekly update for anonymous people who often could care less and the hours of webcomic work are usually unappreciated- I still get things done. Because fuck them, it's about me.

I consider entertaining others, or at least a genuine attempt to do so, virtuous. If even a few people enjoy something you've done, regardless if they've ever said anything positive back, you've made someone else's day a little more satisfying. I toil for those tiny numbers. That's my choice.
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Yesterday, 6:36 AM #2
Chernobog

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Registration date: 5th Jun 2012
Location: NJ
I'll fence sit- I liked them both in certain ways.

80's music was often more fun, cheerful, and just outright ridiculous. A lot of 80's new wave and one hit wonders have aged pretty well.
90's music was far more angry and cynical, which resonated with me more as a teenager. There was some excellent goth and industrial music from those years.

Both sound pretty good at the dance club I go to.
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Yesterday, 6:30 AM #3
Chernobog

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Location: NJ
Orange. It's a weird moderate color, easy on the eyes, and rhymes with nothing. The downside is everyone tends to relate it to a certain paint chip aficionado these days. To me, it's a pleasant Halloween color. And I'd have Halloween in my life more often if I could.
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Yesterday, 6:27 AM #4
Chernobog

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Registration date: 5th Jun 2012
Location: NJ
I like tea and chai more at this point, if just because coffee hasn't been agreeing with me as of late and I've never had interest in sugary Starbucks dessert coffees. When I did enjoy it, I kept it black or with a little skim milk. Although, set me up with a proper Turkish coffee with cardamom and I'll be your best friend while I drink it.
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2 days ago, 3:18 AM #5
Chernobog

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Advice for young men, eh? Bloody grand, really going to feel my age here, ha ha.

It's not all about you. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with you- you can simply be a character in someone else's story. But when it does involve you? Handle it. You cannot run to or from yourself. You get there when it's time.

Don't foul it up for someone else because you thought you were special or couldn't rise to the occasion of something you caused. People are perfectly capable of screwing themselves over without the voluntary weakness in your hand and heart.

Let go of childhood and teenage years, but don't race to be an old man.

Society and the modern day do not get to determine what your gender and identity mean. They will eat you alive if you let them. And like all things, they die unceremoniously too.

Being an asshole is not a replacement for a personality or a brain. It's the absence of both.

Don't let the past destroy your future self, no matter how much the ghosts and chains call to you.

You can be wrong. Frequently, even. Sometimes it's a joke, but sometimes they're right.

Suffering is constructive if you can learn from it. The individual lesson might not dawn on you for a while, however.

The easiest way out can be as useless as the most difficult trail.

Never be a product of your generation. Throughout time, most of them talk big, live in delusion, and then wallow in apathy.

When in doubt, remember the message and messenger are almost always human in origin. Thusly, consider the source in all things.

Sometimes, family can be the people you meet along the way.
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3 days ago, 4:46 AM #6
Chernobog

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Location: NJ
I compartmentalize my personality. One person knows me in one regard, someone else sees me a completely different way. Neither person will have quite the same idea of what my deal is or what my main traits are when compared to how the other sees me. Even here is ultimately just another persona. On another forum or area, someone else. None of these traits are wrong, but they're a puzzle where the opener gets an incomplete series of pieces. If you were to look at separate sections of said puzzle without being able to see the others, you might think the puzzle is about a bird. Or a windmill. Or perhaps something with a blue background. It's not that any of the pieces are necessarily false, but if said puzzle contained, say, ten thousand pieces, the picture remains incomplete no matter how much is individually assembled. That's something everyone gets to know. The reasons behind this approach are mine alone, but I certainly don't find it difficult. There's more to the approach, but maybe that can be some psychologist's wet dream some distant summery day.

Perhaps the only color in this world is perception.

In a more mundane sense, I have excellent night vision, which is nice since the rest of my sight is generally very poor (nearsighted and red/green colorblindness). An optometrist once suggested I likely had well developed rods, but poorly formed cones in my retinas.
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3 days ago, 4:19 AM #7
Chernobog

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I suppose I have a soft spot for gruff/world weary types who rouse themselves to try, despite everything they've known, to make some kind of difference. I'm also partial to clever characters who can think on their feet. Annnd I'm very fond of anyone described as a beserker. With the first and last one, there's a running theme of one who fights against apparent futility with sheer force of will that I just love.
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4 days ago, 5:41 AM #8
Chernobog

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I'm still very fond of Ahab from my AG work. I made her kind of 'Elric style' so she could reappear in new incarnations/stories just because I had so much fun with her.
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4 days ago, 5:39 AM #9
Chernobog

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Something with occulty characters as a focus would be great, ala Justice League Dark or even just Constantine. I wouldn't want my characters to be show stoppers or anything, maybe just heroines who help out the cause at the time.

That said, I'd probably be fine with other people's webcomics if the concept fit. Maybe the now defunct Quillian webcomic or Once Stung.
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5 days ago, 6:40 PM #10
Chernobog

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Oddish is a cute lil boog.
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5 days ago, 8:03 AM #11
Chernobog

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Ahab would point out she obviously owns almost nothing and then monologue aloud with herself about this kid's dubious life choices until he's embarrassed or ashamed enough to leave.

Nell would chuckle, assuming it was a ridiculous prank.

Mallory would inform him that sometimes people mysteriously wake up inside of dumpsters and then retch a cloud of spiders on him for good measure.

Bali would use her gift of the Song to discourage his low key hostility. She'd probably ask what in the world he's trying to accomplish.

Karolina might roll her eyes after a bit of confusion and keep walking. "Shovel beats plastic knife... just go away, kid."
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5 days ago, 1:43 AM #12
Chernobog

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Fantastical elements aside, Ahab Morgan from Arachnid Goddess is based strongly on myself, which is probably not something I should take a great deal of pride in. So, that's a thing.
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6 days ago, 10:23 AM #13
Chernobog

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ratt:ironwort/sideritis?


Ironwort! Yes, that's the one.
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6 days ago, 9:32 AM #14
Chernobog

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Well, Lipton is common and it's certainly not fancy tea, but I rather like it. It's fairly smooth and has a nice enough taste. Then again, I'm not necessarily a gourmet. There's very few teas I dislike, frankly.

Since I don't think Lipton is that bad, no rating from me.

I don't care heavily about brands either, but I'll admit Bigelow is probably not one of the higher ones on my list. I would imagine the fresher teas sold openly by the pound are probably nicer than not, but they're far too pricey for me to be exclusive with them.

Teas I like: green, black, english breakast, oolong, cinnamon apple, chamomille, hibiscus, and anything with ginger. I don't really add anything to mine beyond a few ice cubes because I'm impatient. Honey and crystallized ginger are nice, as well as lemon juice, of course. If I'm feeling like a complete barbarian, I'll add a splash of diet cola- I think the two are oddly pleasant together. Otherwise, I don't bother with sugar of any sort. Some teas can become very sweet on their own if allowed to steep for an absurd period of time. Green, I'm looking at you.

Mm. Actually, there is one tea I've found to be godly, but I haven't the name to offer you. It's some kind of imported 'mountain flower tea' from Greece. It comes in a long bag filled with plant stalks. The stuff is insane.
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6 days ago, 5:35 AM #15
Chernobog

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Star Trek, although there hasn't been a truly solid one in my opinion since DS9. I enjoyed the intellectualism, philosophical discussions, and empathy messages the series often had, alongside some often well written character nuance. With that in mind, I don't acknowledge the new universe movies, Discovery, Archer, or Janeway. They seem to be compelled to keep reinventing the series, without understanding what made it fundamentally good in the first place.

Star Wars lost me with the prequels. I just don't feel like getting back into it anymore, but I'll admit a rabid fan base will do that for me.
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One week ago, 7:24 AM #16
Chernobog

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Like others, no order.

1. Gargoyles
2. The Maxx
3. Futurama
4. Batman: TAS
5. The Real Ghostbusters
6. Batman Beyond
7. Metalocalypse
8. Thundercats (1985)
9. Ergo Proxy
10. One Punch Man
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One week ago, 6:34 AM #17
Chernobog

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I love them both. :) No preference, sorry. The fuzzy folk and I are like peas in a pod.
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8 days ago, 10:52 AM #18
Chernobog

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Location: NJ
It's good to get back into the routine of things, no? I find the holidays around this time of year to be increasingly exhausting- it's just one right after another and the constant consumerism of it all being shoved down the throat. And I was married just before it all started, so that was another aspect to keep me busy last year.

Admittedly, I'm looking forward to a semi-local March vacation and a Superbowl party, however. Still, I must visit the folks shortly for a Christmas exchange. Everyone's been sick or working inconvenient shifts lately.
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8 days ago, 7:09 AM #19
Chernobog

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Arachnid Goddess 2

Bali-la: I... see. *bemused chuckle* Well, that's an interesting theory you have. Are you sure? Why don't we take a walk together and figure this out, eh?

Karolina: Oh, um... wow. *coughs and stares vacantly like a deer in the headlights, desperate for any distraction from the situation*


Arachnid Goddess

Ahab: I'm touched. And I appreciate the thought. But I think if you got to know me better, you wouldn't really hold that opinion. Let's be realistic here. *depreciating tired smile*

Nell: Reeeally? *happy grin* My day just got a lot more interesting. Tell me more! *winks and begins swishing her feet*

Mallory: You say love, but at first sight? Hm. I'm inclined to think that's a flowery word you're using when you mean something else. Now since we're being honest, you might want to do a little homework first. Because I'm the textbook definition of one of those crazy girlfriends your mother warned you not to have.
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9 days ago, 3:44 AM #20
Chernobog

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Registration date: 5th Jun 2012
Location: NJ
I'm already in the ignored part. I've been there for years and it can be frustrating. Unlike Field of Dreams, opportunities and attention don't simply arrive on the fairy tale notion of 'if you build it, they will come'.

That said, with negative attention one does not necessarily gain a way to improve either. Fandom and even anti-fandom is often toxic and unreasonable. You can be told repeatedly your work sucks without any criticism to learn from. You could even be harassed by obsessive types in real life. And what about criticism you can't do anything about? I'm partially colorblind- all my coloring is going to look over pronounced and jarring with contrasts, because that's what I can see. Some days, the colors of one update will look different on another to me, with no rhyme or reason. That's not criticism, it's being reminded of an inborn limitation.

Hypotheticals aside, I suppose being unknown is my nightly blanket of mediocrity. I don't have delusions of ever being popular or liked, but I shouldn't really prefer to be a William Hung act or Sonichu. Fame/infamy is fleeting anyway.
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