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18th Feb 2018, 6:15 AM #1
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One thing which helped me in life was a shift in perspective. It's not exactly original, can sometimes even be seen as cliched, and I know from extensive experience it's not a perfect fix, but...it can still help to think of things in a different way--

That a failure isn't so much a failure, as it is not succeeding in the intended way. Often, we don't realize this but what we'd traditionally call failures are either successes in ways we weren't intending...or open the door to success which would not have been possible without the 'failure' having happened first.

I'm going to do something I've never done outside of one remote forgettable time on the strudel: tell you my age. Because it's relevant to the topic at hand. I'm [spoiler]24[/spoiler] years old. I'm at the age where people expect me to have succeeded. I'm at the age where even if people haven't expected me to succeed they expect me to at least know what direction I am headed.

Yet I don't.

I failed art in college, hardcore.
I almost failed CAD in college, passing through a technicality. (I had C- as my overall grade more or less and only passed because of a grandfather clause of when I had begun.) It took me five+ years to get a two-year degree, and it's not even a proper Bachelor's; it's an Associate's. (My understanding is that Bachelor degrees are better.) In Technical Arts, even.

And in spite of having graduated college nearly three years ago (spring of 2015--do the math on my age and you'll also realize why that means I graduated from college at a much later age than is typical), I've yet to actually have a job in the field. Not for lack of trying, either.

What I'm getting at with this is that I haven't gotten that great career. I haven't gotten those things. I haven't gone that far...even though I am at the age where it is expected of me to have gotten those things. Even though I am old enough where people should think I've done those things...I haven't.

And if I haven't done them...then that's proof enough that there's no obligation for you to have done them, either. You have so many chances to live life. You'll never know if you could do any good if you remove your chance for it. You'll never know if you can make a difference if you die. What would the world be like if, say, Einstein had given up on life because he was initially slow? (Probably not the BEST example, but first which came to mind.)

You can keep going. It's not easy. It kinda sucks. It's difficult. And you still will feel like you've failed more often than not. But you never know until you have tried what you can do. And if you try and then fail...you still never know until you keep trying. And if you still keep trying and still keep failing...you still never know.

The conclusion is never inevitable. Failure is a given...but what we do with the failure is not.
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"Huh.", 18th Feb 2018, 6:01 AM #2
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Fun fact: Chrome is offering to translate this page for me.

I would probably waste my announcement on this fact.
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">_> <_<", 18th Feb 2018, 5:56 AM #3
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This happened to my computer today which is why I'm scrambling back and forth trying to do every which thing and am not exactly organized at the moment.
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18th Feb 2018, 5:55 AM #4
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phoenixjklin:I love tanktops but rarely wear them because I don't think they look good on me.
Take this, body dysphoria.
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Whoah dude.
You are hot. You are a really, really freakin' attractive guy.
And for what it's worth--you look like one to me, too. It's not even 'androgyny attractive' to me; it's "this guy looks good by standards for guys".

So yeah. Take that, dysphoria, indeed.
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18th Feb 2018, 5:47 AM #5
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mr.Trouble:That's a lot of parentheses....
I'm just fond of the parenthetical, I guess. (It's a thing.)

mr.Trouble:And I've been a Lord Asshole before on the internet too haha luckily I realised it and started working on improving long before I came to Comicfury. Maybe it's just a necessary lesson in order to be a better person
I would love to say it's not.

I would like to say, with conviction in idealism and optimism, that you can be a nice person without having been in a jerk.

But unfortunately no matter how hard I try, I just can't manage the thought. I'm too jaded and cynical. Something about having been a jerk is just...well, it puts your flaws out on display and lets you know that yes you have them, yes they are a problem, yes they effect others, and yes you can do better than that. To be the best, you have to know your worst, is how I think about it.

Still, this is one of the few areas where I'd love to be wrong. I'd actually PREFER for me to be wrong--that nice people can be nice without having been jerks. Yeah it'd make me feel a bit worse in the short-term for me (it means that all the stuff I did as a jerk was entirely unnecessary, that I could have been a nice person without it, and thus that I kinda suck for having not been nice without first being the jerk), but it'd make me feel SO much better about humanity as a whole.
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15th Feb 2018, 12:31 AM #6
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Chippewa Ghost:How about a PM search?
Oh my god yes.

*points to 47-page inbox and 57 page outbox*

This would be SO helpful. Searching contents of the PM for a start, but it'd also be nifty to be able to search for users, too. Sometimes I know I had a conversation with a specific person; other times I don't remember who the conversation was with but I remember the contents. Having even one would be a godsend.
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">_> <_<", 15th Feb 2018, 12:19 AM #7
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Taking a level in Jerkass is probably what I'd say is the stupidest thing I've ever done.
Basically everyone on ComicFury forgave me from going complete-total-dick (as far as I know anyway aside from maybe one or two holdouts), but it still doesn't change the fact that being an absolute jerk was tremendously stupid of me.

I was an arrogant rude jerk. Can't undo that. Given that it's something so tremendously stupid I still regret it to this day, hard to top that.

...However.

...There is a runner-up.

It's called my very first post on the forums.
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">_> <_<", 15th Feb 2018, 12:14 AM #8
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killersteak:How did I get a screenshot of it then, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Some people plan for things years in advance. *shifty eyes*
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15th Feb 2018, 12:09 AM #9
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Xenocartographer:W- well, so far, it's mostly been online. Bringing it up in person is... harder, but I'll get there.
Ha, you'll probably get there before I do. <3

Progress is...often slow, but steady. Baby steps. Always stay safe and have a plan for your future. <3
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15th Feb 2018, 12:06 AM #10
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Believe it or not I have one already.

It's a little too complicated for me to put to words though.

I suppose I'd start with saying that part of the philosophy is that every human is a god, in multiple ways, and that we are in essence: pure potential. Potential to reshape the universe, even. Potential to do great good, potential to do great harm, potential to build, potential to destroy. Potential to choose, even if we choose not to use potential. (Part of the potential in choice is having the potential to choose not to have a choice.)

We have the potential to do so much. To be so many things. We have the potential to continue life after death, we have the potential to transcend space and time, we have the potential to become part of the fabric of the cosmos, and yet, we have the potential to reject that. We have the potential to do wrong, we have the potential to do right, we have the potential to be evil, we have the potential to be good, we have the potential to do anything and the potential to do nothing.

We're not obligated to anything. There's no universal moral code. We might have the potential to be punished just as we have the potential to be rewarded...but even with those factors, the main meaning in life is what we give it.

But ideally. If every human were to use their godhood to maximize the utility of their potential...then what I'd see happening is us building a world where things are far more peaceful, far more progressive, far more tranquil, far more happy overall, where we would help others out of altruism--not because we must help them, not because it feels good to help them (though it would feel good to help them), but because we wanted to help them.
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13th Feb 2018, 3:41 AM #11
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"Update!", 13th Feb 2018, 3:40 AM #12
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Result in thread: Who Are You in Dreams
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12th Feb 2018, 10:11 PM #13
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Depends on the dream.
Some dreams I appear as my physical self--these dreams tend to be more "realistic" ones, borderline lucid dreaming. I am thinking in them. I am acting in them. I am not aware I am dreaming while in them, and think that I am in reality. This is why I am trapped in the same body I have in real life in spite of that body not being how I actually see myself. Because in the dream, I am no different than I am in real life. I am still a transwoman, so I think "oh god what if my family finds out" more or less, and I abhor the body I have, but it is what I have in the dream.

Some dreams I appear as my mental self--these dreams tend to be ones where I have a greater degree of control, and I get to be my true me. They are also pretty rare, because they require a very specific mindset I am not likely to get into.

Some dreams I appear as various combinations of myself and fictional characters, which can be whatever gender. Many of this type of dream can become story ideas, as I go on adventures in these dreams.

My favorite type of dream is the type of dream where either I am explicitly a viewer/reader/whathaveyou of some fictional media that my dream-self is viewing/reading/watching/whatever (that being, it's as if I am in real life, watching a film, watching a show, playing a game, or whatever, with the film/show/game/etc. being the focus of the dream such that I am almost a nonentity), second only to its close cousin:

The dream where I am completely a nonentity. I don't exist. I am viewing events happening to people, but none of those people are me. Or all of them are me at different times. These dreams, similar to the above type, tend to be the basis for many a story.
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12th Feb 2018, 3:43 AM #14
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Believe it or not in spite of reading/literature classes being my favorite, most of the books we were reading weren't the big ones.

Crucible? Never heard of it, never read it.

Frankenstein? Nothing of the sort.
Dracula? Nope, not even remotely close.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Nope! (Though these three do interest me.)

The Jungle? Not something I know.
Duel? Nope, nothing comes to mind.
To Kill A Mockingbird? Well I know the name but never read it.
Of Mice And Men? Yeah I honestly never have really heard the name.
An Inspector Calls? I have no clue what this is, so didn't read it.
Moby Dick? Not something I had to read.
Slaughter House Five? Never heard of it.
Prince and the Pauper, I know the name and nothing else.
Sherlock Holmes books, well I've had a fascination with them but have never read them.
Wuthering Heights, not a name I know.
The Lord of the Flies? Not a book I read.
Crime & Punishment? Nothing of the sort was something I needed to read.


I did read a version of Beowulf, probably abridged.
I do remember, however, reading Treasure Island and Around the World in 80 Days.
Those books were good and worth it.
But they're about all I do remember.
We did read some Shakespeare, but I honestly don't consider that to be reading.

In general. I read books, and LOTS of them. But most of them were books that were largely adventure-based (and/or historical-based; historical fiction or even historical nonfiction books were a staple). The type of book that Treasure Island and Around the World in 80 Days would be: books featuring conflict and the thrill of adventure, where challenges would confront the protagonists who would use their wits to overcome them, with a side of brute force when necessary.
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12th Feb 2018, 3:27 AM #15
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RJDG14:For the last couple of days I've been playing Crash Bandicoot 3 on my PSX (original PlayStation). So far I'm at 29%, and it's been really fun and addictive to play.

On average most of the better titles (Gran Turismo being an exception) cost more than many of its games (usually between £5-20 outside of a charity shop) but I get far more fun out of them and spend many more hours playing. You can buy good games for newer PlayStation versions at a similar price but I just like the sharp appearance of the way the PSX renders graphics.

Asides from that, I got myself an old Super Game Boy secondhand the other day, so I've been revisiting some old Game Boy cartridges I've had for years on my TV through my SNES (which I bought primarily for playing older Mario titles).
Ha, I've owned a classic playstation since it was a new console (I am old), and I can vouch for how excellent the playstation (and for that matter, PS2 because PS2 has UNIVERSAL backwards compatibility in that there is NO PS1 game not able to be played on a PS2) is and all of its games.

Gauntlet Legends is a favorite, as is Spyro, and yes. Crash Bandicoot. There's others, too. Obviously the big hit was Final Fantasy VII (I had borrowed a borrowed copy for a while allowing me to play it on the original format), but there's plenty of classics that are just...

...Modern games simply aren't made the same way anymore.

Back in the era those games were made, there were so many secrets built into the game that it took years before they were uncovered, and in some cases could take years to actually finish the games at 100%.

There's a reason why to this day the PS2 (which has all the benefits of the PS1 aside from the aesthetic on the PS1 being slightly better) remains my favorite console.
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"Hmm...", 12th Feb 2018, 3:18 AM #16
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I'd probably want to pitch why ComicFury is awesome, to encourage them to stay--after all, if these are strangers, then chances are they haven't been on ComicFury for long if at all because few if any people actually remain strangers to me for very long. :P

(I mean, there are plenty who do, especially right now, but traditionally it doesn't take long for me to get acquainted with people; I get into most active comics so even those who don't hang around on the forums see me and because I DO hang out around the forum I can interact with people regardless of where they go.)

I don't actually have a pitch pre-planned, believe it or not. I mean. I used to. I gave a standard pitch to people in the Introduction forum (each pitch was personalized to the individual but followed the same basic formula), but it's been so long that I don't remember what it was.

I'd probably go into the ComicFury saying: "Come for the comics, stay for the community". Which has always been an apt descriptor of here to me. ComicFury IS the best place to host comics, that is true enough. The number of features CF offers is unparalleled compared to other hosting sites...and what's better, Kyo the site admin keeps on improving it every day and he's active in his own creation in that he welcomes feedback and is quick to fix problems and to implement suggestions. (And if not, he explains why he hasn't.)

The features we have are so many. The free hosting, the ability to host with no ads, the ability to customize the webcomic site, the ability to have a domain (albeit requiring a special process)...what else is there in features which places CF above and beyond, there's just so many it's hard to say.

...But the features are nothing compared to the community. The community is why I stay and keep coming back. It's more than just how people who do comment on comics are truly invested in the work. It's more than just how we can have solid discussions which are civil and polite. It's more than just how we care for one another.

It's like family, a home away from home. And that's the thing I feel like I'd most want to tell them. That they are welcome, that they belong here, that they will find a place and that ComicFury is just...a place they want to be, because we care.
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":P", 12th Feb 2018, 3:03 AM #17
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Honestly, something to the effect of "I actually have magic, just suppressed somehow" has been a running theory of how to explain why I feel 'off' every day for my whole life.

In adulthood you can think of more 'rational' explanations: autism with a hint of bipolar disorder.

I still favor the "had magic, just somehow suppressed" theory tho.
It just seems to be far more...magical.
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12th Feb 2018, 3:00 AM #18
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The ability to create anything my mind can think of.

Keeping in mind that this includes ways to build a self-feeding loop of sorts, where I create something which assists in me being able to think of more things I can create. Including things like immortality. I'm a WRITER, this is literally power transcending godhood to me if I could have it because Gods work within the boundaries of the universe; this power could rewrite the rules of the universe.
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8th Feb 2018, 1:16 AM #19
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English/Literature class got me into writing in the first place, because I wanted to impress my teacher (who I had for like six or seven or so years spread across a few as a kid and a few as a middleschooler) that I considered a second mom, and I wouldn't have done so without her.

I always had a fascination with mythology and to a lesser extent history, but it was a class which got me covered in the languages of the cultures we were covering: ancient Greek, Latin, and Old English. I got to learn a little bit of each, something I never would have tried without my classes on the subject where my teacher included those aspects.

I gained a fascination with nature as a direct result of taking a nature class (and my main nature class teacher was a pretty awesome guy--unfortunately, he lost a battle with cancer, but from my understanding, he was somewhat-well-known? His name was Rob Sandelin), and this may have even directly contributed to my pacifistic nature (along with tae kwon do):

As a child, I was mean and cruel and spiteful. I hated things, and I took it out on everything. Especially wildlife. I'd kill insects and bugs, I'd rip up and tear to pieces all sorts of plants and so on and so forth and yet being taught about those very things I had destroyed gave me a level of respect, love, and nurturing to them to the point where I swore a combination of a blood oath/vow on my life honor and soul that I'd never deliberately harm them again. (I was smart enough to know that me being me I accidentally cause harm all the time.) And that at every available opportunity, I'd help them out.

Tae kwon do was one of the main things which taught me how to focus, and it also taught me many aspects of adulthood. I lied a ton, I used excuses a ton, I placed blame a ton, I had no responsibility, I had no respect, I had no control, before tae kwon do, but by taking it, I slowly and progressively learned all of those things, maturing significantly as a direct consequence.

This is, by far, not a complete list.

Suffice to say, school was awesome and I still consider those 13 years to be the best years of my life.

EDIT: Oh!

Another thing--I got interested in more scientific things like stars and the like thanks to a particular science teacher who REALLY knew how to run a class. (And one of her favorite toys was the star lab: an inflatable room, completely dark to outside light, where a light could be lit, and over that light you'd place a thing which would show you the stars. It had different things for different systems of constellations: native american, Mayan, Chinese, and of course Classical among them.)

Also, I was often described in many various different ways as "brilliant, but lazy".

In hindsight, this can be attributed to me being both autistic and having bipolar disorder, but at the time, these things were not nearly as widely known as they are now and I certainly wasn't called as such most of the time. (I did have one or two teachers suspect as much, which I learned like...less than two years ago in spite of it having happened over fifteen years ago.)

What this often manifested as?

I was always ahead of the class is theoretical concept learning like math. (I mean I fell behind much, much later, but that was only like...when we got to things like Precalc, maybe Trigonometry as well, but I cruised through things like Algebra and Algebra2 and maybe also Geometry and I was taking these classes YEARS before it was required for me to do so and I was younger than virtually everyone else taking those classes because they were typical students taking it at the typical age whereas I was ahead of the curb.)

In some ways, I was often even a bit of a prodigy...except...I just. Really lacked the motivation to actually apply myself. I found most subjects (except for English/Literature, Mythology, and History more or less) to be boring, to be chores, unless my teachers went out of their way to get me invested (such as my teachers for environmental sciences--we went on field trips and went on long hikes where we would observe various plants and animals and the like).

A consequence of this:

Often, I would doodle in class.

I just found myself with nothing better to do.

The way people lectured, it was such that I just already knew most of what they were saying because I read ahead of the class and they were covering material already covered in the book. So instead of really listening to the rehash...

...I drew.

I drew a lot.

A LOT a lot.

And this is how I became an artist.
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6th Feb 2018, 2:56 AM #20
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I started working on my own and then at first I thought I'd go try and advertise it by exposing myself to others on the site I hosted them on before that eventually morphed into an obsession of its own where I wasn't going in for any other purpose except to learn about a new webcomic, no ulterior motive at all.

And virtually every single one of my favorite comics is a direct product of this line.

<3
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