A good, clear, effective storyboard sequence, with good notes and an exciting / horrifying sequence of events. It's easy to see the action in your mind's eye.
To answer one of the questions you asked in the comments, I think this would definitely be a candidate for a streaming service. Your voice actors list is impressive, but don't overlook pro voice actors who don't have celebrity names.
Page 36 of The Extras- the gals find themselves with a sudden opportunity for adventure. I'm sure they'll learn lots from it...
We tried a thing where the sequence of word balloons starts off standard, left-to-right in the top tier, then it's supposed to curve around and be read right-to-left in the second tier. I don't know if the flow is successful or not. What do you think?