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"Video Game Review Thread", 17th May 2018, 11:45 AM #1
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I'm making this thread for people who want to seriously discuss what horrible video games you're playing.

I wanted to put my thoughts on Battlefield 1 somewhere too, because I was playing the free trial on EA's hideous Origin program that windows defender keeps flagging as Malware.

I'm genuinely pissed off that DICE came so close to making something truly thoughtful, yet botched it as they always botch it; by adhering to the formula they're so goddamn locked into. The prologue of this game is SO stellar. I love the cutscenes of the tank crew in the first real story scenario, as it establishes the humanity of your men and the inhumanity of their surroundings. It falls apart so dramatically when the gameplay is just typical Battlefield fare. The artwork and art design are the top of the game too. But opening with an ill-conceived tank driving sequence? I dunno man.

Battlefield 1 is just further proof that for all their technical prowess, Dice are just too beheld by EA's machine to actually strike out on their own as game designers. It's not the same problem with Crytek, where Crytek are just genetically engineered to constantly make shitty games, Dice gets it right sometimes (1942, 2, 2142, Bad Company etc.)

Titanfall 2 rules though. Buy that shit.
17th May 2018, 12:54 PM #2
Lilbluebox

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I'm so angry with Fire Emblem Fates for telling a story so badly that I'm going to rewrite the whole thing and do it right. Plot holes everywhere, characterization reduced to one or two traits 99% of the time with bad, awkward writing to underline it, world building that just does not make sense, one villain who is the epitome of Saturday morning cartoon with megalomaniac laughter - in a serious high fantasy epic, mind you - and another villain whose powers shift to serve the story and thus rendering him completely useless...

And that's just scratching the surface. They shoehorn in 'plot' elements that not only don't make sense, but actively make the characters involved terrible parents (if you've played the game, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This is high fantasy, people. Birth control clearly existed in Awakening. It frickin' exists here.) What's worse, characters are forced into roles that haven't been built up, into friendships with no real emotional connection, and it just falls incredibly emotionally flat. All the time.

It also doesn't carry things through. There's some really, really cool stuff that happens in this game. Also terrifying stuff (or it should be). And there's some scenes that SHOULD be tearing at my heartstrings - but because it's never been properly built up and the characters always just forget about the event immediately after it happens and continue on with the story as if they aren't affected by this huge thing that happened, I'm left just feeling incredulous.

It's bad. It's so bad. And I don't understand how they screwed it up so badly given that Fire Emblem Awakening is easily in my top five list of video games I've ever played before in my life. How on earth do you mess something up that badly?

So... I'm fixing it. I paid good money for this trainwreck and I am determined to salvage it into something I enjoy. And it's worth it, I think, because even with all these mistakes, Fates has a fantastic premise. The story could have been so good if they'd only edited. Because as is, Fates feels like a very rough draft that's been published with pretty artwork and, admittedly, some pretty good game mechanics. This is a story that needed some rewrites.

A lot of them. >.>
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17th May 2018, 1:54 PM #3
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While I grew up on games, I haven't really been pulled into a video game in a while...at least voluntarily. My friend roped me into a game called "Ark: Survival Evolved", he and me go back so I humored him. sweet Jesus this game destroyed my soul (not in a good Dark Souls kind of way).

It's basically an online multiplayer survival game where you start out as a caveman on a map full of dinosaurs and build a tribe, tame dinosaurs, and become advanced enough to take out other tribes and people on the map and assert your dominance and whatever. It sounds great in theory, actually strategy games like that are right up my alley, the only problem is it focuses on the worst aspects of RTS games: grinding. It can take 7 freaking hours to tame ONE dinosaur. Me and my friends had to take shifts just to tame one T-Rex, also you spend most of your time gathering resources and dying, but for some reason my friend finds that compelling xD.

The most interesting and surprisingly engaging aspect of the game is that this tribal set up brings out the worst in people, tribes get super egotistical and start doing some Al Capone stuff to bring you down, sending gifts and garnering your trust and then sicking a saber tooth on you when you're not looking LOL. But these tense moments don't happen that much, this games is basically sit on your butt and wait for your triceratops to be tamed.

The thing that kept me going is that my friend said we just had to grind it out until we were good enough to take out the "Alpha's" (largest tribe on the map), that was cool I guess, but after dozens of exciting hours of collecting berries and watching tame meters load, our main base got wiped out in about 5 minutes while we were all offline. Rendering everything we did on that map (months of work) completely pointless :D

All in all it's pretty bad, but I can't lie there were some fun moments with the tribe (this game would be unplayable solo). And to be fair I'm more into narrative focused games, the last game I really liked was The Last of Us. Final Rating: 2/10 9/10 if you're a masochist
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17th May 2018, 2:14 PM #4
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Sovember:

All in all it's pretty bad, but I can't lie there were some fun moments with the tribe (this game would be unplayable solo). And to be fair I'm more into narrative focused games, the last game I really liked was The Last of Us. Final Rating: 2/10 9/10 if you're a masochist


ARK seems to be from the same school of game design that Rust attended. It's a terrible school, don't go to it.

While in theory, the idea of players being forced to show their true colors is interesting, i think the Dinosaur Survival Game is the last place it belongs.
17th May 2018, 2:26 PM #5
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Sovember:It sounds great in theory, actually strategy games like that are right up my alley, the only problem is it focuses on the worst aspects of RTS games: grinding. It can take 7 freaking hours to tame ONE dinosaur. Me and my friends had to take shifts just to tame one T-Rex, also you spend most of your time gathering resources and dying, but for some reason my friend finds that compelling xD.


Bwahahaha a friend of mine and his wife wanted to tame a lvl 120 Quetz and it took them like 18 hours

And then there's the time it takes to breed something, spending hours upon hours hand feeding the babies so they don't die

Exciting


After having played unofficial Ark servers I don't think I could ever go back to officials and their god awful slow rates

Pixark is pretty good for a more chill version of Ark, too
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17th May 2018, 3:40 PM #6
OnePunchLucario

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Sovember:It's basically an online multiplayer survival game where you start out as a caveman on a map full of dinosaurs and build a tribe, tame dinosaurs, and become advanced enough to take out other tribes and people on the map and assert your dominance and whatever. It sounds great in theory, actually strategy games like that are right up my alley, the only problem is it focuses on the worst aspects of RTS games: grinding. It can take 7 freaking hours to tame ONE dinosaur. Me and my friends had to take shifts just to tame one T-Rex, also you spend most of your time gathering resources and dying, but for some reason my friend finds that compelling


The only way I can even stand playing Ark is by modifying the settings and making it actually possible to survive for 30 minutes. It makes me feel bad but hey, if its the only way to enjoy the game then its the only way to enjoy the game
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17th May 2018, 4:03 PM #7
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lilbluebox:Fire Emblem Fates was bad

*crawls out of the woodwork* And it SUCKED, too!

Fire Emblem is a series that I adore, especially Awakening, the Tellius games, and the Gameboy games like Blazing Blade and Sacred Stones! Fates was going to be THREE new games in the beloved Fire Emblem spirit! What could go wrong??? Everything. And I bOugHT aLL tHrEE Of TheM.

The cracks started showing for me with the character designs, honestly. The tone of the stories sets out to be serious high fantasy where they really emphasize the need for you to make tough choices. Unfortunately, they also put the female characters in outfits like this:
(spoilered because it's insulting to look at and if you're at work someone looking over your shoulder might mistake it for lingerie)


As a result, the tone was never consistent. Is this a serious fantasy game or a cheesecake factory? It certainly didn't manage to blend those elements in any way that made sense. Also, because they tried to stretch a plot that they didn't devote enough time to fleshing out across three games, a lot of the maps felt like filler and didn't have any emotional weight.

I'm playing through Fire Emblem: Awakening again, and the difference is staggering. I just played a map where I suddenly found myself torn up over winning, because of the impossible situation both I and the enemy army was in.

If you want to get into the Fire Emblem series, I highly recommend Awakening! It's got a great story, has differing modes of difficulty if you've been previously scared off by the character permadeath in the series, and lovable, memorable characters.
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17th May 2018, 5:11 PM #8
Lilbluebox

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Oh yes, there's no question that Fates did a better job of mechanics. Absolutely it's the superior FE game in that regard. But I was speaking specifically of... well, everything else. Plot and character specifically, which is where they screwed up royally. And since that's what I play for, Fates is a hot mess that I cannot enjoy no matter how much I want to.
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17th May 2018, 8:12 PM #9
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18th May 2018, 6:19 AM #10
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Has anyone seen the 1997 alpha footage of Half-Life? it's kind of amazing considering how generic and outright mediocre the alpha looks. The fact they turned that into fucking Half-Life in just a year is kind of astounding. Half-Life is STILL a very spectacular and tightly paced game, but it could've been just another 90s shooter on the Quake engine.
18th May 2018, 7:52 AM #11
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I liked Sonic and the Black Knight
18th May 2018, 10:33 AM #12
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Can someone explain the appeal of Far Cry 3? Far Cry 2 is one of my all-time favorite games but Far Cry 3 is such a bloated mess of a game. Terrible UI, horrible optimization, braindead plot, and has to run through Uplay. I failed a mission because I wanted to travel back to a town instead of fast-travelling like the game DEMANDED.
23rd May 2018, 6:05 PM #13
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Has anyone played the Panzer Dragoon games on the Saturn? If you haven't, I recommend procuring a copy of them, Panzer Dragoon 1 and 2 are EXCELLENT shooters!!! EXCELLENT I TELL YOU!!!! You're nuts if you don't love the laser dragon game.
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