Ok, I tried everything and my new ice cream machine makes me scream for all the wrong reasons. It's a defective so I am returning it, getting my money back and buying a better one. I am so disappointed because it was my birthday present too. I guess there's a lesson to be learned here. When it comes to appliances, they are an investment so it's worth it to get from well known brands.
Thank you, everyone, but I have good news. My ice cream machine is just fine. The inner bowl just needed to be frozen for 24 hours. As for the ice cream "batter" itself, it needed to be chilled and someone thicker. I even made my first ever homemade flavor! CHEESECAKE!
I bought myself a £20 fan yesterday from Amazon for my bedroom given the hottish weather Britain's been having lately (and is due for most of the summer) and the lack of air conditioning in almost all British homes, which means that I'm sweating most of the time in my room unless I open a window. Unfortunately when it arrived I discovered it had been damaged in transit and the fan was disconnected from its casing, so I guess I'm gonna have to buy another and then arrange to have an Amazon carrier pick this one up for me to get a refund on this broken one. The item had very good customer reviews and the build quality felt very good, so I'll take it that just this one was defective.
So you're not alone here. I've bought a couple of other electronic items before that have been defective, though neither were very expensive and I didn't bother sending them back.
Of course, but remember, making ice cream takes a lot of patience as I learned;
1 cup of milk
340 g of cream cheese
1/2 cup of sugar
2 tsps vanilla
1- Melt the cream cheese in a pot over medium-high heat while mixing in the other ingredients.
2- Boil until mixed well and the texture is creamy and thickened.
3- Chill in the freezer for 1 to 3 hours (it should not be warm at all anymore and start having a runny, but pudding like texture).
4- Churn it into the ice cream machine for 20 minutes.
Note that the inner bowl of the ice cream machine (the one on the inside that's removeable) should be frozen in the freezer for 24 hrs at least if you're not using a self-freezing ice cream machine. When it's finished, it's like soft serve, but you can put it in the freeze to let it harden more to your liking. The way it melts in your mouth will make you never go back to the bought stuff.
Would it be possible to churn it manually with a spoon and bowl instead of with an ice cream machine? It sounds like the sort of thing that I might consider attempting to make sometime.
I think the quality of premade vanilla ice cream varies. The Ben & Jerrys stuff (do they make vanilla?) or even better British brands such as Kelly's are pretty good, but the Walls/HB stuff is horrible and very synthetic so I tend to buy Kelly's vanilla, which isn't much more expensive than Walls and tastes/looks natural - it's a nice tasting pale cream rather than the Walls yellow, although they may have taken some of the colourants out since (it's been a few years since I last had Walls vanilla, although I like their Solero sorbet lolly).
I think the spoon and the bowl idea would only work in a walk-in freezer.
Many years ago, we bought an old fashioned hand crank ice cream maker. You put ice and rock salt into the wooden bucket, and your batter into the inner chamber in the middle. You then clamp on the top with the paddles and metal gears and crank it for fifteen minutes. That stuff was like ambrosia, plus I got a good workout!
Not in a few years, but yeah, as of 2010 the texture of those was kinda weird, like everything you get in McDonald's. Was McDonald's always this synthetic (their food has definitely been synthetic tasting since 2002, which was the first time I recall eating in one)?
If anything, I suspect they used to be worse. Their McNuggets used mechanically seperated chicken until about 2003 when they switched to minced breast offcuts, and I think in Britain their fish fingers used to use mechanicslly seperated fish but are now made with fillet (comparing them with the few times I had them in the early-mid 2000s and the way they appear in Happy Meal promos today).
Burger King and KFC have never been quite as synthetic tasting as McDonalds, yet don't have as many stores worldwide, although KFC has the most stores in Northern Ireland.
You poor, poor UK/Ireland folks...thinking KFC is actual fried chicken. The true rating of fast food chicken restaurants, as follows:
4) Chik-Fil-A (Would probably make Number 3 on taste, but they're owned by some real kooks)
5) Any local greasy spoon diner
6) Any others I didn't mention
7) The dumpster behind the aforementioned greasy spoon diner
Getting back on topic, though: If you haven't tried cinnamon ice cream, please do. It is the BEST.