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"Spot illustration critique.", 11th Jul 2018, 12:11 AM #1
joeyballast
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Another forum I hang out has a monthly contest. This month the prompt is 'hidden'.

After a few iterations, this is what I've got so far. I think it works so far, but I'd love any comments/criticisms people may like to give.

Thanks!

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11th Jul 2018, 12:21 AM #2
TheHiddenElephant

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I like it! If I were to suggest any one thing, I'd say to make the troll (or whatever) be more hidden. Right now, he's got a hobbit hole door; it's a bit obvious. Kind of a "When U See It..." moment.
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11th Jul 2018, 3:24 AM #3
swamp
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It's a really charming composition.
To me, the kid in back is at a slightly different angle. The combination of being closer to the side, further back, and tilted as he's walking(falling?) makes him look a little off.
The bird also feels a bit off to me. Since you stylized the tail higher and the legs are covered, it reads a bit tricky for me.

I really love the lighting though, and how the piece leads the eye. I didn't even notice the monster first glance.
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11th Jul 2018, 4:37 AM #4
joeyballast
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TheHiddenElephant:I like it! If I were to suggest any one thing, I'd say to make the troll (or whatever) be more hidden. Right now, he's got a hobbit hole door; it's a bit obvious. Kind of a "When U See It..." moment.


Thanks!

That's a good call. The door'll be a bit more camouflaged (in shade/mottled like the landscape) once it's coloured.

Merged Doublepost:

swamp:It's a really charming composition.
To me, the kid in back is at a slightly different angle. The combination of being closer to the side, further back, and tilted as he's walking(falling?) makes him look a little off.
The bird also feels a bit off to me. Since you stylized the tail higher and the legs are covered, it reads a bit tricky for me.

I really love the lighting though, and how the piece leads the eye. I didn't even notice the monster first glance.


Cool cool. Thanks for taking a look. I may change the position of the kid in the back and delete the bird (kinda distracting). All good points!
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11th Jul 2018, 11:12 AM #5
atomicgull
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I agree with the kid in the back being the wrong angle. The first thing I noticed was the girl up front but after staring a moment I think her head is just slightly too big, especially for looking from below.

Otherwise I like it a lot, great atmosphere! Not such a fan of the orange though.
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11th Jul 2018, 6:37 PM #6
joeyballast
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Her head is a bit too big, yeah. Juuuuuuuuust too big enough to not be obvious :) I will change it up.

The more I look at the last kid the more I agree he's at a weird angle for the perspective.

Thanks for the feedback!

Merged Doublepost:

Posting an update since, well, why the hell not.

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11th Jul 2018, 8:21 PM #7
atomicgull
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It looks great! Sorry about the orange comment, I'm dumb enough to not realize that wasn't your final version. I saw some of your other sketches in orange lately too, so I thought you were just digging orange.
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12th Jul 2018, 3:22 AM #8
joeyballast
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Oh, no worries! Orange is a weird colour to sketch in :) (I usually take the saturation and value down before posting)
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12th Jul 2018, 5:41 AM #9
dpat57
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joeyballast:Posting an update since, well, why the hell not.

That is lovely work!
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12th Jul 2018, 2:44 PM #10
MK_Wizard

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I am absolutely impressed by this. The perspective, detail and proportions are spot on, but I have to agree with the comment about the troll's door. If you want him to be more dark and looming, you need to make his door look more camouflaged with moss and look more like a rock.
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12th Jul 2018, 3:29 PM #11
joeyballast
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dpat57:That is lovely work!


Thanks!

Merged Doublepost:

MK_Wizard:I am absolutely impressed by this. The perspective, detail and proportions are spot on, but I have to agree with the comment about the troll's door. If you want him to be more dark and looming, you need to make his door look more camouflaged with moss and look more like a rock.


Thanks for takin' a look! Good to know it looks good so far :)

And yes, I agree about the 'troll's' door. It'll much more camouflaged/spookily lit once the values are set and colour's are applied, but I'll keep in mind that it truly needs to be hidden.

Merged Doublepost:

'Nuther update as progress continues (and also, why the hell not).

I'm going to restart the colours from scratch and start with a value layer first this time (as apparently is good/standard practice). In my comic I just lay down local colour and shade with multiply layers but with an illustration the values need to be much more spot-on.

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12th Jul 2018, 3:44 PM #12
MK_Wizard

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It's coming along very nicely and while the colours make a huge difference, I still think that next time, you need to make it more camouflaged, but other than that, great picture and keep up the beautiful work.
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13th Jul 2018, 4:04 AM #13
joeyballast
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Continuing with 'why the hell not'.

I'll probably fiddle with the colour and values of the cave later on.

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13th Jul 2018, 6:25 AM #14
JackFractal

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Really lovely work. Well done!
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16th Jul 2018, 2:03 AM #15
joeyballast
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Thanks! I'm cautiously optimistic :)
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18th Jul 2018, 11:05 PM #16
joeyballast
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Work continues! Dunno how I feel about it anymore, but I'm gonna keep plugging away at it!

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19th Jul 2018, 12:29 AM #17
atomicgull
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This is awesome! I love how bright it is up top compared to the shadows below. That last kid gives an ominous feeling. Why is somebody always lagging behind when danger lurks!
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19th Jul 2018, 3:55 PM #18
joeyballast
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Thanks! Glad the values are working out. That last kid's totally gettin' eaten...
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26th Jul 2018, 6:39 PM #19
joeyballast
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I decided it was time to try a different rendering technique, so just redid it. The message is a weeeeeeee bit different in the new one. BUT IT'S DONE NOW.

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