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"Critique for Super Toby", 4 days ago, 2:14 PM #1
Moxvallix

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Posts: 6
Registration date: 26th Oct 2017
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Hi, I'm Moxvallix and I have a webcomic called Super Toby.

I would like some critique on it, to see what I can improve on. It is a very simplistic comic, about a super powered turtle.

My main focus in the comic has been more of a gag a day style, but recently I have been experimenting with a storyline. Any critique/feedback in any area of my comic would be greatly appreciated, although I would rather like feedback on my writing style/humour, and if it needs any work.

Thankyou!

Images of some panels (gag a day ones):
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2 days ago, 4:09 PM #2
Robotwin.com

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Posts: 2883
Registration date: 22nd Sep 2010
Location: USA, Milky Way
I like your sense of humor, but something about the line weight in the art and lettering are distracting, because it's a bit too uniform and jumbled.

In the 1st strip, I couldn't read those lines over his head, and assumed they were frustration scribbles to indicate his emotional state.

In the 2nd strip, "TV" is illegible and required some doubletakes to read. At first, that floating square looks like narration, not a television object in the character's world. So maybe a little more careful rendering and background support like a TV table would help. On the other hand, you could draw the scene from behind the TV, and have dialog coming out of the speakers.

Your hand lettering is on the threshold, and just needs a bit more effort to become legible. Done well, hand lettering can be so much better than fonts, especially on strips. So it's kind of exciting for me to see people attempt it when fonts are so much easier.

This lettering isn't great but it demonstrates some structure, line variation and letterspacing that might help you:
http://webcomicalliance.com/drawing/a-guide-to-hand-lettering-your-strips/


Many people worship Calvin & Hobbes and even this lettering isn't perfect, but its charisma is self-evident because of the line variation, the background objects that ground everything, and how each letter is drawn out carefully, not just scribbled in a stream:

image

Another thing is that your turtle is so tiny, it's hard to see. Notice how Calvin and Hobbes are different sizes but both their heads fit in the frame when they talk? That's about how big your turtle needs to be. Make him about half the size of the human stick figures with a big turtle head, so we can see his facial expressions as he talks to other characters.

Sorry I can't critique your writing and humor any more than 'I like what I see so far.'

Maybe in the 1st strip, it would be funnier if Super Toby were walking by casually, right in front of the stickup. Maybe obliviously eating ice cream or something. As it is, he could be flying off to save the world from a more important catastrophe.
Yesterday, 4:04 AM #3
Moxvallix

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Posts: 6
Registration date: 26th Oct 2017
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Thankyou so much for the critique Robotwin.com!

I'll take your feedback into account as soon as I can. I'll start with changing my line thickness and move on from there.
I'll also give that article a read, right after I finish writing this.

Thanks again for the critique, you've pointed out some great things that I couldn't spot myself. I also love your use of Calvin and Hobbes as an example!
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Yesterday, 5:24 PM #4
Robotwin.com

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Registration date: 22nd Sep 2010
Location: USA, Milky Way
Hi Moxvallix,

Ooops, I just remembered something! What size are you drawing your comic strip at? Assuming you're drawing on the computer, it looks like you're drawing at the published size (950 x 236 pixels), based on how thick the lines are.

Anyway use a much bigger canvas for your original art, in the neighborhood of 3000 x 1500 pixels. Then you can continue to use the same line width, but it will look better when you reduce for publication.
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