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"Why NOT to share a comic with peers", 8th Feb 2019, 7:38 AM #1
NiaNook
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Branching off of the "Whose got your Back" thread, some folks will occasionally express they don't feel comfortable letting people they know read their comics, and you've got me very curious as to why that is. If someone dear to me started a comic, you bet your sweet hot buttery biscuits I'd want to read the heck out of it. Likewise, I'd be floored if my family or friends expressed interest in my projects. It seems others feel the opposite! (Granted, I can see how it can be embarrassing and there's been awkward experiences that stemmed from it, but anyway)

Is it too personal? Don't want the content associated with you? Afraid they'd hate it?
Experiences that made you never want to let your comic see the light of day, again?
Thoughts?
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8th Feb 2019, 7:58 AM #2
Mel Cormac
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It's weird. It's not like I'm ashamed of my comic or anything, I'm actually quite proud of it, but the truth is I'm just a very different person online than in real life, so in a way it is kind of "not wanting it associated with me". Not because I think my comic is bad, just because it doesn't line up with what some of my friends think of me? If that makes any sense at all?

I also don't like telling people in my real life that I write comedy because people inevitably go "tell a joke!!" and it... doesn't work that way... It's a pain.

I'm insecure, basically. I'm sure other people have more deep reasons, but mine boils down to good old insecurity.

(also I have friends who are loving, but brutally honest, and I make this comic for fun, I don't need their harsh criticisms)
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8th Feb 2019, 8:08 AM #3
swamp
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I don't like people just reading my comic because I made it. I just... really hate the idea of people feeling obligated to read my stuff, or forcing themselves to read while silently judging it. It also feels very vulnerable. If you don't know me, you probably can't learn much about me from my comic, but if you know me IRL, you can probably get some insight that I don't always want people to have. And even if somebody gets it just from the comic, better a stranger on the internet than somebody I have to look at every day.

I guess I also get worried about letting people down? Like them being excited I have a comic, then laughing at how bad it is, or feeling awkward and having to pretend they liked it.

I also don't like feeling like I have to hold back because I'm worried about what my Mom thinks. She hates any sort of violence in media... And if I ever do a sex scene, I really don't want her reading that.

But like... keep in mind I know how unreasonable this is. I did not choose the anxiety life, the anxiety life chose me.
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8th Feb 2019, 8:31 AM #4
HeSerpenty

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Haha I mention it to just about anyone who asks the redundant question "what do you do?"

My answer is: "Ohhh you know. Taking care of my grandma, going to class for a certificate in Interactive media to somewhat validate my student loan debt, aaand I draw my own webcomic" LOL like the webcomic somehow makes my life sound more successful or something :P.

No but really...it consumes so much of my time that it really should be mentioned to people who are asking about my life X"D. I have no shame. Class mates, grandma's friends, any relatives, share on facebook timeline, customers at work... you name it. Ask about my life...that's what you get xD.

And it's not cuz I think it's so great, mind you...that I feel compelled to share it with the world. Lol I guess I"m just open about who I am and it's just a part of who I am at this point :P
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8th Feb 2019, 8:33 AM #5
Eve Z.
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My mom knows I do a webcomic, but we don't talk about it.
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8th Feb 2019, 9:23 AM #6
TheStrangerous

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Only some of my close relatives know, that I make a webcomic.

Reason why I don't spread this fact around my neighborhood, is because I don't wanna hear shit like "Will you draw me something?. Expecting a freebie. Plus I'm a very insecure, man of a few words, just like Charry in my comic.
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8th Feb 2019, 9:45 AM #7
khkddn
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One of my relatives is a published author who is not very interested in genre fiction. Once we got in an argument over the validity of writers who participate in nanowrimo, if that gets the vibe across.

Then there's me, with my fun lil ghost comics that I post for free! Makes me a bit nervous to share with my family. I have other reasons too but that one is the most fun.
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"It can also be unsafe, unless you're crazy-prepared for the worst", 8th Feb 2019, 9:53 AM #8
xwindows
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Some people in real life are secret hater/bigot, and artists do not always fit the stereotypes of "ones who make 'that kind of work'".

While these people apparently "looked" or "acted" nice most of the times; when #triggered by certain type of content, they unveil their ugly side; whether by verbal violence, physical violence, threat of privacy, or threat of charge/lawsuit.

This can be a grave implication to said artist's real life, and I have witnessed this firsthand.

That's why I would suggest any artist who do "non-mainstream" kind of works NOT to share their works with their immediate "family", "friends", or "colleagues", unless they have battery of plans (or nuclear options) to deal with things in worst case of Shit Hit the Fan (R); even when what they're doing are perfectly fine from legal standpoint.

N.B. Do not ask what exactly I witnessed, it is confidential (apart from being painful to reiterate).
8th Feb 2019, 9:54 AM #9
NiaNook
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Mel Cormac:I'm just a very different person online than in real life, so in a way it is kind of "not wanting it associated with me". Not because I think my comic is bad, just because it doesn't line up with what some of my friends think of me? If that makes any sense at all?

Ooh. And they'll be getting to know another part of you...for better or worse! And my sentiments for the brutally honest criticism. I think that kind of brutal honesty can be very helpful, but it also has setbacks, especially if they have different taste or compare a hobby to a million-dollar professional work :'D

Swamp:I don't like people just reading my comic because I made it. I just... really hate the idea of people feeling obligated to read my stuff, or forcing themselves to read while silently judging it.

Hmm... At least for me, looking at my peers work feels less like an obligation and more like...(not sure how to describe this) You love that person, therefor, you love what they make, by extension? And even if it turns out to not be your cup of tea, you just feel so proud of them and appreciate being allowed to see it. I can understand where you're coming from, though. Hopefully if yours read it, it's out of genuine interest.
It also feels very vulnerable. If you don't know me, you probably can't learn much about me from my comic, but if you know me IRL, you can probably get some insight that I don't always want people to have. And even if somebody gets it just from the comic, better a stranger on the internet than somebody I have to look at every day.

^^^Ahhh, that hits too close! But it's also weird how it's easier for random strangers to look at our work than our own family... So much incredible discomfort can be had from a sibling/mother seeing your drawing and asking "Is this you and your significant other?" (Noooo, why do you think that???)

Merged Doublepost:

HeSerpenty:And it's not cuz I think it's so great, mind you...that I feel compelled to share it with the world. Lol I guess I"m just open about who I am and it's just a part of who I am at this point :P

Of course! It's a big part of your life, nothing shameful about bringing it up. Just like any other hobby when people ask what you do, like...hiking? Binging netflix?
I always avoid it coming up in conversation, especially with meeting new people, partly because I never know how to answer the follow-up questions "Oh, like Garfield/Marvel comics?" Pfft. But if you can own it, I admire that. :'D

Eve Z.:

Things like that would be hard to talk about without them expressing interest first. Hm

TheStrangerous:

Ha! Very valid concern XD

khkddn dancedancerevolution:

Because if something is free that means it is bad and you might get poor-people dirt on you for touching it! (jkjk) Wonder if that family member would change their mind if they saw some of the hidden gems out there. But alas, that can make sharing it awkward, I'm sure :P

xwindows:

Well that sounds like it got intense, whatever it was o.O Hopefully that's a very rare case.
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8th Feb 2019, 10:53 AM #10
Shekets
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Would rather not have snide comments from my mother, my father doesn't care (he's apathetic about most of the things I do, once I asked what how he would react if I married a religious man who beat me and his response was "I don't care"). I won't share my comic stuff with family because of obvious nsfw content lol.

I'd like to share it on dating profiles! Not in like a "hey, this is what I like wink wink xXx" way, but in a "hey, this is what I'm working on, I hope you're interested and understand that I'm a fucking loser rando on the internet devoting a lot of time to this garbage and not some professional making comics at Marvel". But then I also know I will be severely judged.
Doesn't particularly help that a lot of Israelis are now popping up in my dating sphere and I absolutely know they're going to either be offended or confused as all hell. And then they'll beat me with verbal sticks. And then I will cry.

I think my biggest fear that will come true is that someone's going to look at my very obvious favorite character and think "wow, do I look similar to that? Does she think I'm ugly? Does she pity me? Or does she only like me because I look similar? I feel used."
Then I want to crawl into a cave and never be seen again.

Or they'll see the nsfw material and be disgusted. Or they'll turn out to be some blueberry inflation fetish guy and try to tell me all about it.
And then I die.
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8th Feb 2019, 11:03 AM #11
Chernobog

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Existentially, there's a lack of common ground I have with most people, including friends and family. I associate with them based on what they're naturally receptive to, but webcomics and art is not one of them for anyone I know. If it doesn't come from a published author they'll never personally know, they don't care. I'm very introverted to boot and I just don't need them in my business. At best, people might know I do webcomics, but I don't even give them a synopsis unless I see more than casual interest.
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8th Feb 2019, 11:11 AM #12
Eli Cosmanis

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NiaNook:Don't want the content associated with you?


Yeah
that one.
they know I draw a comic, I just make sure to turn my clipboard away when anybody enters the room.
yet another benefit of not drawing on a pc with the content projected behind you for anyone to see.
8th Feb 2019, 11:29 AM #13
CiciEnixa

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It’s not that I’m ashamed of telling my irl peeps about my comic. I am proud of my baby and I will gladly summarize it. The problem is when they ask me “what’s it called?” and I have to (1) slowly pronounce the title like 5 times because we are not native English speakers and (2) my title isn’t LONG long, but it’s PRETTY long still. And sometimes all of that already makes me feel like I’m wasting both our time.

I have since fixed that problem by just taking out my phone and showing them my FD2R webcomic but sometimes they still ask “how do you pronounce that?” and a part of me just goes hrnnng imsorry illmakeashortertitlenexttime

As for my family, they know I’m making a webcomic. My dad asks now and then if I’m paging or derping about, but I don’t think he knows or particularly cares what it’s about. My mom is aware it’s a violent comic, and while she doesn’t wholly approve of gore and violence, sometimes she’ll ask me “How’s that Mina girl? Is she still dead? How many have died by your hand this week?” and I think that’s the best I can ask for and that’s fine XD
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8th Feb 2019, 11:55 AM #14
argylefox

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I feel my tastes are pretty normal. But whenever I share my music tastes, movie tastes, comic tastes or whatever with someone, they almost invariably don't like it.

And the thought of that response from a friend or family member right in front of me to MY work? The work that I base off of MY tastes?

I'd rather just avoid it.
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8th Feb 2019, 12:19 PM #15
deo101
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I don't want to have to explain myself, or my choices. So, I keep myself and my work guarded around people I know or fear would have a less-than-warm reception to what I do.

I'm proud of myself and want nothing in my way; not sharing is sometimes how I keep myself going.

EDIT: I mean this in a "my family is full of homophobes" way
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8th Feb 2019, 12:52 PM #16
deerwithgoggles

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it's kind of complicated. most people in my real life just wouldn't care so i don't bother, but in my dad's case, he tends to act interested in my creative pursuits but kind of... degrades me and compares me to other artists whenever i show any of it to him? so i just tend not to because it's annoying.
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8th Feb 2019, 1:00 PM #17
MK_Wizard

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In my experience, because when I was growing up, there was a strong prejudice against comic writing. The way people look at jobs now is not the way they did then. If you wanted to be anything artistic, you were deemed as lazy or stupid. And because I was a girl and wanted to write comics and cartoons, I was also considered as weird at the time. So I developed an insecurity towards telling people what I was passionate about.

Looking back on it, I really regret doing that and I advise people to never hide what makes them happy or what is their true calling. There's a reason you're compelled to do it and when you give people the right to shame you for being true to yourself, you are taking a step back from your true goal. Even the biggest revolutionists faced ridicule and naysaying. Don't give into it.
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8th Feb 2019, 1:25 PM #18
Mothtrap
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i used to keep it private because i didn't want people i knew to read it, thought they'd think it was shit and laugh at me, but I stopped caring and now I'd rather tell people about it because it's my main hobby. am I gonna pretend like I do nothing with my free time?
It's a bit awkward though when they ask what it's about and i'm like
murder
But most people aren't particularly interested beyond that!

When my family finally read it (they usually respected my wish for them not to read it until the webtoon contest thing) they were trying to match up the characters with themselves/the people we know? Oh god that was awkward. I DO use real locations as the basis for my room designs and stuff, like the kitchen is pretty much identical to my kitchen at home, so that didn't help, but the characters are not reflections of real people at all.
no family, i'm not dylan and I don't want to kill my siblings pls

basically embarrassment about the quality of work + embarrassment about the subject matter made it hard to let other people in on my comic but i don't care so much these days
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8th Feb 2019, 1:44 PM #19
JammyTheBirb
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I'm quite open about the fact I draw a comic to anyone, but I'm less comfortable actually sharing it with people in my real life. With friends I can kind of share it happily enough, but even then I still feel weird if they DO read it and then talk to me about it. I mean, it's nice, it's just strange to hear character names out loud! And then I get self concious about the quality.

I try not to share the comic with my family, even though they're supportive of me because my whole family is straight and... Yeah. I just know it's not what they'd normally choose to read so the last thing I want to do is make them read it and create a situation neither of us want to be in. That being said, my mother did buy the first arc of my comic without me asking her to, so... *le shrug*
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8th Feb 2019, 1:53 PM #20
Timelapse11
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My family is extremely sociable, I am not. Having said that, basically everyone knows I make a comic, mainly because my parents know, and they have told the rest of the family, not that I mind all that much, I just post Surge on Facebook and they read it there, apart from my Grandma who doesn't have Facebook and reads Surge here.
I don't tend to tell people off the bat, but my friend tells pretty much everyone. XD
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