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"Your childhood myths.", 23rd Feb 2019, 1:46 PM #1
TheStrangerous

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The child like gullibility, forever vanished once we grew older.

Before discovering how things works, the placeholder were the made up myths.
Like I still remember how I thought the moon was chasing me, or the crocs in the zoo were fake statues. Or that the entire Spain is nothing but desert area, which is only partially true. Even commercials made fool of me, they made energy drinks look like powerups (think Popeye and his spinach). The most hilarious thing I've believed in, was how dwarf people supposed to be adults in their youth, like a minature/shorter versions of themselves.

Got any hilarious childhood myths?
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23rd Feb 2019, 2:03 PM #2
MK_Wizard

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I used to think there was something in the bathroom because the toilet was noisy. At one point, my mother made me stay and watch what happens after a toilet gets flushed and when I saw nothing happened, I wasn't afraid anymore.
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:00 PM #3
NiaNook
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TheStrangerous:I thought the moon was chasing me

Wait, I'd like to know more about this one, what? XD That sounds terrifying!

Merged Doublepost:

One I can remember solely because of how ridiculous it was; somehow, as a toddler I thought that every time you had a birthday, you'd switch from a boy to a girl and vice versa, so the day after my birthday, my mom was loading us into the car and said "hop in, little missy" and I'd correct her "I'm a boy, mom!"
No friggin clue where that idea came from. Supposedly a lie my older brother told me (he told me a lot of things to mess with my head)
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:16 PM #4
Bryfang
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TheStrangerous:Like I still remember how I thought the moon was chasing me, [..]

I thought everyone had their own personal moon that followed them, same for the sun. :>

I also thought:

- There was a headquarters for the Game Boy Tetris where people would expertly select which pieces to send to the player. I don't think I actually believed-believed that, but I did entertain it.

- It was possible for bubbles being blown (the toy soap kind) to rise infinitely up to space.

- That if you keep adding water to Kool-Aid before it completely disappears, you can have Kool-Aid forever. The day I found out dilution was a sad day, indeed.
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:22 PM #5
Timelapse11
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I used to think that there was a person inside lifts that just sat there all day and voiced the lifts.
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:22 PM #6
khkddn
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You have to hold your breath when you pass a cemetery, or else you'll breathe in a ghost and steal someone's dead relative. Better hope you're not in a car that gets stuck at a red light!!!

NiaNook:One I can remember solely because of how ridiculous it was; somehow, as a toddler I thought that every time you had a birthday, you'd switch from a boy to a girl and vice versa, so the day after my birthday, my mom was loading us into the car and said "hop in, little missy" and I'd correct her "I'm a boy, mom!"
No friggin clue where that idea came from. Supposedly a lie my older brother told me (he told me a lot of things to mess with my head)


I had a kind of similar one. If you licked the tip of your elbow, you switched genders. It happened in a book so of course it had to be real. I thought that it was possible, and the only reason I had never seen it happen was that nobody has a tongue long enough to do it right.
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:29 PM #7
RJDG14

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I used to think a tickle monster lived in the house I lived in as a small kid, and have a couple of vivid dreams about it coming into my bedroom at night when trying to get up, effectively acting as a sandman to get me back to sleep.
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23rd Feb 2019, 4:55 PM #8
keltyzoid!
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my nerdass bastard of a father convinced me that gnomes were real and would steal my alarm clock if i didn't protect it, and to make his point, if i didn't put my dinosaur figures around the thing, he'd sneak into my room at night and steal it. i had to leave offerings to get it back. he taught me runes so i could write letters to the gnomes asking them to return it.

he also convinced me i was a wizard and indulged the thought by sending me to a fucking wizard school at the science museum and buying me a wand, as well as tarot cards and crystals. incidentally, it was the whole "going to wizard school" thing that proved to me that i am, in fact, not a wizard.

miscellaneous things my dad tricked me into believing: carbonation is actually soda ghosts trying to escape to the afterlife, Einstein invented color and the world was in black and white before him, microscopic goblins lived inside your gums and used pickaxes to knock all your baby teeth out, and that the ghost of my great aunt left pennies around the house to show that she'd been visiting.

things i'd somehow convinced myself of: pouring water from cup to cup turns the water into juice, Abraham Lincoln would kick your ass in heaven when you died if you ever called him "Abe," and if you ate food and went to the bathroom at the same time your organs would explode. the last one was what i assumed happened to Elvis.
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23rd Feb 2019, 5:30 PM #9
TheStrangerous

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NiaNook:Wait, I'd like to know more about this one, what? XD That sounds terrifying!


I ran from one side to the other side of the house, the moon's was still there. Thinking I could outrun it.

Bryfang:

- That if you keep adding water to Kool-Aid before it completely disappears, you can have Kool-Aid forever. The day I found out dilution was a sad day, indeed.


Did the same thing with Sprite!
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24th Feb 2019, 12:25 AM #10
Cooke
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keltyzoid!:-


Your Dad sounds like a riot. That's funny stuff there.

One that stands out to me was that kids came from cabbage patches.
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24th Feb 2019, 12:28 AM #11
Bryfang
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keltyzoid!:

Your dad reminds me of Calvin's dad from Calvin and Hobbes. He told Calvin lots of crazy stories also, he even did the B&W thing too. xd

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24th Feb 2019, 12:37 AM #12
kevintheradioguy

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Mine weren't that bad. Though my parents told me stuff out of their own ignorance, and not to build real myths. Like that a bunny is a domesticated hare and whatnot.

That being said, my woman had weird mother who built numerous myths or her for no reason at all. From the top of my head: she was extremely insistent that if a person eats more than three eggs at a time, they'll die; and that brought my woman to an edge of hysterics when her then-boyfriend made an omelette out of six eggs.
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24th Feb 2019, 1:10 AM #13
keltyzoid!
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Bryfang:Your dad reminds me of Calvin's dad from Calvin and Hobbes. He told Calvin lots of crazy stories also, he even did the B&W thing too. xd

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im fucking speechless
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24th Feb 2019, 1:36 AM #14
mr.Trouble
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My dad told me they used the fish in the fish tanks in McDonalds to make burgers... I believed it for many years after....
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24th Feb 2019, 1:47 AM #15
Rulerbrain
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Grandma had toddler me convinced for years that if you cut your toenails at night a bunch of imps would sneak into your room while you were sleeping and steal your toes away
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24th Feb 2019, 3:19 AM #16
Dyohna

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To get us to stop licking knives, my mom told us that licking knives would give us cancer. I was legit afraid for anyone who I saw lick a knife and stopped their hands or swatted at them, even plastic ones. I figured out it was fake when I thought about how spoons and knives were made of the same thing years later.

On my own volition I thought that people's arms would fall off if there wasn't a hand to hold it in place. I held my own elbows when I walked to school for the few months that I believed that and made sure to hold my mom's arms and elbows when we went out lmao.

Also my friend told me that if you point at fish they will die the next day?? Still not sure if that's true or not actually, won't risk it
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24th Feb 2019, 3:24 AM #17
Shekets
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If you get eaten by an animal, you come back as the offspring of said animal.

So like.. if you got eaten by a shark, you come back as a shark. If you got eaten by a bear, you come back as a bear.
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24th Feb 2019, 3:30 AM #18
Chernobog

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I've mentioned my mother told me some whoppers when I was younger. She doesn't recall them now, but she probably wasn't aware I'd remember them too. I asked her once where words came from. She told me a 'really smart boy named Albert' made them up for everyone to use.

I thought another name for a hangnail was a 'paper'. This persisted into my late teens. I think I misunderstood a conversation concerning hangnails and paper cuts at some early age.

While walking along an apartment complex one day, I noticed there were plants known as honeysuckles, while the little yellow flowers were called Buttercups. I then noticed the little white clovers on the grass dividers and thinking of the previous examples, I asked my mom if they were called Mayonnaise Flowers. She said yes, of course.

While attending a catered wake, I noticed a plate with green grapes and little toothpicks arranged to make them look like tiny green mice. Someone proceeded to tell me they were actual skinned mice and then tried to feed me the thing. Needless to say, I freaked out and lost my appetite.

I thought Han Solo was the main character and hero of Star Wars- Luke was just one of his competent friends. I think I liked it better with Han as the main protagonist.
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24th Feb 2019, 3:32 AM #19
JammyTheBirb
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I used to believe that if I was watching The Weakest Link and the clock hit zero whilst my feet were on the floor, it'd turn into lava and I'd die. Standing on the floor when the time went from x:59 to y:00 was the same. I also believed in Santa for an embarassingly long time.

I also vividly remember something I did not believe. Being around five or six perhaps, and the teacher asked us how we thought babies were made. One boy stood up and gave the right answer and we all laughed at him, because no. That wasn't it, it couldn't possibly be something so silly.
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24th Feb 2019, 3:38 AM #20
RJDG14

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I used to believe a similar sort of thing with the show Countdown back when I was about 2/3. For some reason the opening used to scare me, though I don't see why that was anymore.

There was a time when I was 5 (2005) when my family were on holiday in North Wales. Me and my dad went for a short walk, and he made the noise of a ghost at one point and I actually believed there was one nearby, though he admitted later that day that he'd made it when I wasn't looking.
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Forum > Mediterranean Avenue > Your childhood myths.
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