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"Do people ever just laugh at you?", 13 days ago, 1:16 AM #1
defo18

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Somethings been bothering me and its something I have noticed in my life.

About a month ago I was buying drinks for my Friends. (They're 19, I'm 22...don't judge)

And my friend is arguing with these girls who pull up beside us at the liquor store.(they were all going to a party) After about 10 minutes of arguing over what they want to get, i get out and walk over to the girl's car. They're both quiet looking at me walking over.

All i did was bend over(I'm tall) and look through the window and said "So what do y'all want to get"
They precede to giggle at me.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't dressed strangely.
I had showered about an hour before hand. So I wasn't funky
I spoke as clear and concise as I could. So why did they laugh?.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened.

Some of my friends say." They may like you". I doubt that. I never met these girls before today.

I've been on a crusade with trying to raise my confidence but that exchange didn't help
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13 days ago, 1:37 AM #2
Kelsey -Nutty- P.
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You're thinking WAY too hard about a tiny exchange, dude.

People laugh over literally anything. Maybe the way you casually strolled over to end the argument yourself was a moment they found funny. Also they were going to a party so they might've been inebriated already. I dunno, man.
13 days ago, 2:05 AM #3
LeRenardRoux
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I read an anecdote once of a guy who drove a public bus for awhile, and one time he was taking a corner a little too fast and an old man standing on the curb shook his head at him, apparently disapproving of his reckless driving. It really bothered him for some reason, and it stuck with him for years, that judgmental old man disdainfully shaking his head at him.

Then years later, he himself was waiting alone for a bus. One was approaching the stop, but it wasn't the one he needed, so he shook his head to let the driver know not to stop for him. Suddenly, he realized that all those years ago, that old man had just been letting him know he didn't need a ride.

I've probably bungled the story a bit, but the point is: don't read too much into peoples' actions, especially people who you'll never see again. Sometimes they're having a bad day or are in a weird mood, and sometimes you've completely misinterpreted them! Don't beat yourself up over it. And if someone is actually openly laughing at you out of the blue, it's probably a "them" problem and not a "you" problem.
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13 days ago, 2:42 AM #4
Kokoneos

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Yeah- I got groped at a bar and when he looked back to see my response I flipped him off and he laughed at me. He also performed the magical disappearing act whenever I made eye contact with him the rest of the night. I don't honestly care if he thought I was just a stupid ho or what but I do care that he didn't grace me with his presence the rest of the night. I know who I am and his opinion doesn't change anything.


Just listening to your story the first thing that popped in my head was that they were attracted to you. You're an older guy, more experienced, and getting them alcohol. If it wasn't that I'd assume it was nervous laughter to diffuse a stressful situation. And if they were laughing because they thought you were a dope- let them buy their own alcohol. If you're doing it so they'll be your friend (which you shouldn't do it for those reasons anyway), what's the point if they're just gonna laugh?


MOST people don't think about other people in public situations, they're all worried about their own self esteem. They're worried about how they look, how they fit in, if anyone is judging them.. or they're thinking about their own day-to-day stuff like if they need to get to the gas station or if they can go without another trip. There aren't a lot of people in the world who sit around and judge- and those who do are pretty easy to avoid.
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13 days ago, 2:47 AM #5
DizzasterJuice

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Like Kelsey said, you're over thinking it. My first guess would be that your friends are right and they like you. People laugh when they are nervous. They don't laugh if you're a turn-off.
Second guess is maybe the way you said it and they misunderstood it at first, then it was funny when they realized what you meant.
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13 days ago, 3:20 AM #6
Lutztoons
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I wanted to give my opinion on the situation as an autistic person, because I tend to have some trouble understanding social cues and I’ve been confused by situations similar to yours.

I also tend to get defensive when I perceive that people are making fun of me. I tend to do things that seem absolutely normal to me until people start giggling and point out my strange but harmless behavior. Because I’ve been the butt of many jokes in the past, I can’t help but wonder how strange I come off to others without even knowing why. I’m not dangerous and I’m not mean to people, so I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just an odd, funny person by nature and I shouldn’t be too worried.

The trick is asking yourself if these people are truly acting in bad faith. Most of the time they aren’t, but if they’re being genuinely mean or passive aggressive, you can bring up your concerns with them. If they keep it up, you don’t have to continue hanging out with them.

Looking at your situation, I think your friends were just having a good time. Maybe something about your posture or manner stuck them as humorous, but I’m not reading any malicious intent from the situation. I’m thinking that you’re overthinking it. Have you been having trouble or feeling insecure in other areas of life? It can make otherwise normal events harder to interpret, at least in my case.

I’m no psych, so don’t read too hard into what I’m saying. I’m just another rando on the Internet giving her two cents.
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13 days ago, 4:34 AM #7
Fruity20

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Like a lot...especially as a kid since I don't if it was because I was neurodivergrent or something but I confused if folks were laughing with me or at me...since I do really weird things that folks find funny but I personally don't and at times it can really hurt me mentally.
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13 days ago, 11:23 AM #8
Socratatus

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defo18:Somethings been bothering me and its something I have noticed in my life.

About a month ago I was buying drinks for my Friends. (They're 19, I'm 22...don't judge)

And my friend is arguing with these girls who pull up beside us at the liquor store.(they were all going to a party) After about 10 minutes of arguing over what they want to get, i get out and walk over to the girl's car. They're both quiet looking at me walking over.

All i did was bend over(I'm tall) and look through the window and said "So what do y'all want to get"
They precede to giggle at me.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't dressed strangely.
I had showered about an hour before hand. So I wasn't funky
I spoke as clear and concise as I could. So why did they laugh?.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened.

Some of my friends say." They may like you". I doubt that. I never met these girls before today.

I've been on a crusade with trying to raise my confidence but that exchange didn't help


You have to think that you`re better and whatever they`re laughing at is unimportant cos they`re stupid. I`m serious. This is called building a mental shield or wall they can`t breach with arrows.

When someone laughs, even if it`s at you, and you know there`s nothing up with you, ignore it. Often they`re not laughing at you but something else.

But... some girls can be very cruel and will laugh at a guy for literally no reason or just for the simple fact you looked at them. They will often laugh to HIDE their own insecurities or to try and put you down even though nothing is wrong with you. A lot of girls simply don`t understand how fragile we can be internally. they think cos we`re guys we have no feelings.

Just ignore them. Think , "I am better than them so whatever they`re laughing at is unimportant to me!" then blank them from your mind.

Sounds mean, but you have to shield yourself mentally this way. You have to push them mentally away from you with your mental shield so they don`t breach into you.
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13 days ago, 5:15 PM #9
Dyohna

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Yeah all the time. Only when I start talking though lol. Trying to do a verbal report in school, even the teacher starts laughing! Apparently I say some strange things or say it in a strange way. I'm glad people find me amusing.

About your situation, me and my friends laugh all the time but we've never laughed at someone. Thinking back it may have seemed that way but we are just thinking about our own conversation, not a stranger. Hope that can help you feel better :)
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13 days ago, 5:35 PM #10
Jessie Blue
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Hey don't stress it too much. I'd guess it was a timing thing not that they were actually laughing at you but more themselves.

Girl 1- "So what do you wanna get?"
Girl 2- "I dunno. What do you want to get?"
Girl 1- "I don't care! I just wanna get fucked up!"
Girl 2- "Well make up your mind this dude's gonna ask us what we want any moment."
Defo- "So what do you want to get?"
Girls- *laughing nervously*

They were most likely laughing because of what they were talking about, or because they were nervous. Not every time someone laughs is it that they are laughing at you, sometimes people are just giggly.
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13 days ago, 10:39 PM #11
Sikyanakotik
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There's only one person who ever laughs at me. Unfortunately, I am him.
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10 days ago, 10:08 AM #12
Eve Z.
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They did so much that I became paranoid.
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10 days ago, 10:43 AM #13
MrFuzzy

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Sorry you're feeling discouraged :(

Don't forget though, the quest for self confidence is just that; SELF confidence. If someone laughs, they laugh, and your feelings about yourself will remain independent of what others may or may not be thinking.

In the meantime don't agonize over it like the rest of the posters have said. Also, I am going to be that one old fart that says careful about who you buy drinks for xD That can throw off some folk's image of you too. Nowhere but forward ^^v
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10 days ago, 1:40 PM #14
Zack-ta

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I can't say I've had any similar experiences. However, working in retail, I've noticed frequently, that when young girls are gathered together, they have this weird habit of just being giggly. My sister and her friend laugh cry during sad movies.

I would not sweat this at all, it's just a thing they do.

And I hear yah on that struggle for confidence. It's bloody hard to will yourself to be more out there.
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10 days ago, 2:23 PM #15
MK_Wizard

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I would not let the judgement or silliness of other people bring you down. The world is full of people who unkindly seek to wreck confidence because they have none of their own. You have to find confidence in yourself in what you do. YOU know there is nothing wrong with what you do and what you do makes you happy. If people are going to do stuff like laugh at you like a bunch of children who don't know better, then they are being laughable because they obviously don't know how to act.
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10 days ago, 2:38 PM #16
Kokoneos

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Hey you should listen to this video I found it the other day and it made me think of you;

"My Ex Was Embarrassed of My Art"

It's a little topic specific, but after telling her story she gives a lot of great advice and insight about self confidence and being your own person. She does a little promotion for Skillshare in the beginning, just skip to 1:03 to trim that bit out if you want.
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10 days ago, 2:44 PM #17
MK_Wizard

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This is genius. Thanks for sharing it, Koko.
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One week ago, 12:21 AM #18
RJDG14

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When I was at school a lot of other kids laughed at me, accusing me of being gay. As I got to puberty I realised that I am gay, or at least bi leaning towards liking other men more than women, but don't feel ashamed.
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One week ago, 3:46 AM #19
E-hero Vulven
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Yes. Everyone laughs at each other, in a good way. I'd laugh at myself too cuz the alternative is worse.
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