Forum > Critique > Critique the person above you.
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"Critique the person above you.", 10th Oct 2020, 8:17 AM #1
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Let's see what I've cooked up for you this Inktober.......a challenge.

My webcomic lacks a lot of subscribers, so I thought about making a thread so that everyone can improve their writing and drawing skills.

Btw, here are the rules
- Compliments are welcome
- no hatred

I'm working on one comic, ://Strife at the moment because I'm going to do my projects chronologically.
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10th Oct 2020, 2:23 PM #2
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You have three webcomics so not sure on which one do you want feedback. But I'll give a general critique about the art.

Certainly you have room for improvement in the anatomy department. I would suggest going with the basics, like drawing skeletons and muscle. Understanding the human anatomy is key to draw better people.

And about this thread, maybe add more rules to make the critiques shorter and easy to do? Like the user posting and image they have trouble with or a piece of dialogue they're not sure about (giving a small context).
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10th Oct 2020, 3:01 PM #3
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I'm working on one comic, ://Strife at the moment because I'm going to do my projects chronologically. The rest are TDA and has only been there for future reference.
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10th Oct 2020, 3:11 PM #4
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So for critiquing you, the biggest thing I would work on improving in your series would be making the illustrations look more lively and animated. Specifically, make your characters look more emotive and expressive, and less like lifeless puppets.

I would also recommend altering the flow and pacing to give the reader a better feel on what exactly is going on in Strife.
10th Oct 2020, 4:16 PM #5
yesterday, you said junoro
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Hey Kourtney! Your character designs show a lot of creativity, which is great. My first suggestion would be to make your banner image the link to your comic, so it's easier to click on. My second would be to reduce the white dots in your artwork. They're distracting to the eye and make it difficult to understand what's going on in panels. This can usually be accomplished by using different layers with art programs.
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13th Oct 2020, 6:05 AM #6
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First of all: Really nice website design! I also really like the colours, and some of the sea people are neatly designed.

Negatives: The humans are a bit blandly designed and I think you should be more careful with using pure black for the outlines. I often find that dark blues/purples/greens etc goes better with the colours.
I also noticed that the water running down the wall looks more like string than water. I suggest working with transparency there and using reference photos.

However, this comic is all in all really visually appealing!
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11 days ago, 12:47 AM #7
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Holy moly. Okay. I just read your comic for the first time and HAD to subscribe. What an amazing story so far. I was only going to read the first 50 or so pages to get a feel for it and just had to read everything you have so far.

Okay okay. The "bad" first: In some places the english is a bit off. Like, it just doesn't seem to flow quite right. HOWEVER. Being norse and medieval (they're just gonna say some things differently than we now, in north america do), this actually makes sense to me, so it does not detract too much. Otherwise, while the facial expressions and the overall emotion you portray is AMAZING, the actual body language could look more natural. More loose and full of motion, y'know? but it really isn't extreme , I think. I can see you getting better at this as you progress. Backgrounds also are very, very simplistic. These could stand to have more details. However, they give a clear impression of what you're trying to show.. So hey maybe not! :)

The good: Holy amazeballs the research you've clearly done, the really cool blending of norse history and anthropomorphic animals, the designs of the world to accommodate different species, the style... I am REALLY looking forward to seeing how this story progresses. I'm already invested in the characters and worried for them. Have you read any of the Redwall series? I feel like it has a very similar flavor, and that's a very good thing ;) Your art is gorgeous.

A+ comic you got there bud. Can't wait to see how it all unfolds. :D
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5 days ago, 6:49 AM #8
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Okay, right off the bat--surely you can do better than to categorize Angels of the Fallen as "other" as the genre. I know the options are limited and we don't (currently) get to list more than one genre, but fantasy, romance, or drama would all be leagues more descriptive. Also, your avatar is. Um. Not as good as your banner. It really doesn't give me any sort of impression of what the comic is actually like. Maybe try to make the comic's avatar more like the banner? But that's just a suggestion.

You also have a lot of typos in your comic, though it does seem like they clean up quite a bit in more recent pages, so perhaps that was an issue you were already aware of. If so, nice work improving on that.

Okay, so the story. I don't want to spoil things, so I'm going to reference the actual plot as little as possible. The comic has this robust urban fantasy setting with massive, world-shaking stakes, but for all the bombast the premise carries, the heart of the story is much smaller and more intimate. The focus isn't on intense battles and action (though we do get some of that); the focus is on the way the characters' relationships weave with each other, the tragedies of loss in a world that's far from safe, and the different things that drive each character. All of these things are well established and explored before we even get to the big "turning point" halfway through the comic where we learn how and why each character is connected (and I love that there's a reason other than "oh, coincidentally all these Special People just sort of know each other). I also like how the characters interact; they each seem to bring out different sides of each other, some with more friction than others. I will say that the two elf characters have had not as much development as the rest of the main cast, though. It would be nice to see a bit more of what drives them. And while I don't mind the slow-burn pace, the demons, while clearly a dire threat, are still largely a mystery. I expect with the current arc, the audience is likely to learn more very soon. At least, I do hope so. I'll be keeping an eye on this comic, because I know I want to see what happens next.

As a side note, I feel like every comic has some kind of "okay, now I'm interested" moment for the reader. Sometimes you hook 'em right at the start. Sometimes it takes a bit. For me, it was Chapter 6. I won't dare spoil it, but all I could think was "well that escalated fast." And seeing the trauma the main character went through as a result and her later resolve to overcome it has been quite compelling. I don't think the prior chapters were bad--they establish some very important things--but Chapter 6 is where I really started to get seriously invested. Just some purely subjective drivel from some pleb.

As for the art, I have to say I felt a little let down when I saw that gorgeous watercolor on the cover page for the first chapter, only to be met with an unshaded monochromatic comic instead. That isn't to say I thought the art was bad. The character designs are memorable and interesting (especially the Draco characters, I just love them) and my gosh, your skill with architecture is something else. But your colors in the cover pages really breathed life into the characters that the comic's usual art couldn't measure up to. And boy, I was quite pleased when you did eventually make the switch to full color. It really is a world of difference, and I can't praise it enough. You're very good at it, and seeing the world and your characters in full color is just *chef's kiss*.

Overall, nice work. You certainly got my attention and I look forward to seeing more.

*edit* Whoever critiques me, chose whichever comic you like. I'm fine getting feedback on either one.
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5 days ago, 4:28 PM #9
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Wow. That was some heavy stuff.

The artwork is genuinely amazing. The shading is great, all the characters are distinct from each other, there's more than enough backgrounds and the comic doesn't feel in any way empty. Even the blank backgrounds have nice patterns. You manage to create fantastic surreal material for the nightmares, and the scene-changing transitions are nice and fluid.

The only minor nitpick on the artwork was the placement of some of the word balloons at the start of the comic making the order of dialogue a bit confusing, but that seemed to disappear quickly.

As for the story, it is a fairly intriguing psychological horror that deals with nicely dark real-life topics. Characterization is good and the relationships between characters are well-established without too much clunky exposition. My one major complaint is that the pacing is a bit slow, during the 150+ pages I felt that not a lot actually happened.

Overall amazing comic.


Note to the next poster, apart from a critique I would like to know does the violence of Crimson Knights earn hard red V or is yellow V enough?
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5 days ago, 5:02 PM #10
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Edit: I've decided to update the review

Crimson Knights is a webcomic by Santeri Ruotsala (DeadlyAssassin).

The comic’s description says, “Darkness lurks in the forests of the northern Kingdoms. War looms over the horizon, monsters roam the countryside and black magic-users run amok. Only the Order of the Black Rose and the Crimson Knights who serve it stand between the evil and the helpless people of the north.”


To refrain from spoiling anything from the comic, plots will NOT be discussed. Besides, the comic is easy to get lost in for the plot, but I still enjoyed the read.

The artwork is very simple, almost drawn like a Middle School project, but the story within it is all that matters to me. I’m also well accepting of any art no matter how it looks like. The monsters you have drawn are also very well done as they match the creepy aspect. I swear they look very realistic to me! While how they look at times could be better (The guy with the pipe on the first panel of Comic 42 - Part 1 looks a little off when he’s sitting down as an example), I still enjoy the wild positions they sometimes make. I also feel a lack of emotion from their facial expressions, as I feel they’re bland. Maybe be a little more expressive with facial design.

The characters are also drawn very uniquely. With easy knowledge of whoever is human, a troll, or whatever they are supposed to be. However, I am having a hard time trying to remember who’s who. Maybe add a character sheet to the site.

While I am not one to enjoy medieval material unless it’s Monty Python & The Holy Grail, I have actually found some love when reading the webcomic. I also enjoy the bloody violence and drama, even though I’m more the comedian type.

My review score: 79% - Green Light

"In the end, Crimson Knights is a must-read as it has an excellent story with simple art, and is perfect for those that love adventure, even if it’s easy to get lost in".

Regarding the question on if the ‘V’ for violence should be yellow or red, that’s up to you. If any upcoming violence will feature gore… then yes for red. If it’s going to be the same kind of violence it already is, then keep it in yellow.
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5 days ago, 6:25 PM #11
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FOKI I'll review your comic if you read DeadlyAssassin's comic and edit your post to give him some more feedback, it's only 153 pages I believe in you



As for whoever comes next, SKIP ME, I don't want a critique, please pick another random person from the thread and give them another critique





Cycle of Luv


A quick note: The comic right now is set to Red V, S, L, and yellow N. Having read the comic, I would change them all to just yellow and maybe eliminate the "v" entirely. There was no graphic, explicit violence in the comic and having unnecessarily explicit warnings may put people off from wanting to read the comic.


Most of the art in the comic is simple, clean, and easy to parse. Going through the archive can be a little confusing because particularly in the pre-2020 pages, there are randomly pages that are in an older, less careful art style; these pages are harder to read, but are being replaced a little at a time with the newer, easier to understand art. I think it's a good choice to redo art if it's making something clearer, but I wasn't sure why some pages were redone and others weren't.

The facial expressions particularly in the last several months worth of strips (say, May onward) are in my opinion the comic's best strength. The best strips are the ones with less dialogue, but more focus on the characters' expressions and body language.

The art is continuing to evolve and get more fun to look at. Particularly the pages done this summer are really lively and vibrant.

I had a difficult time following the narrative. There's kind of this esoteric sense of humor, with toony, dreamlike vignettes where characters have kind of one-note personalities or react to things in ways I don't really understand. The dialogue, partiuclarly at the beginning of the comic, feels stilted and unnatural- the word choice or sentence structure can feel a little weird, I'm not sure if this is a stylistic choice or if English is not the author's native language (in which case, props to you, I'm always impressed by people who are able to write a comic in another language than their own most comfortable one).

When you're lucky as a reader, you find a comic that looks like the person who makes it just absolutely loves what they do-the comic is full of references to things the author enjoys and is knowledgable about, and a cheerful, motivated energy can be felt through the art. This is one of those comics. The most clear motif that appears regularly is references to popular music, as characters are often shown singing karaoke, singing in the car, listening to the radio, and so forth. Pop cultural references also are infused through the comic.

Godspeed, Fox, and may your comic continue to bring you joy for years to come.
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5 days ago, 7:07 PM #12
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Pick me, pick me! I want the attention!! xD

Lol jk. Y'all feel free to do whichever one y'all want ;) <3
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Forum > Critique > Critique the person above you.
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