Forum > Critique > I will give you a rudely honest critique of your comic
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"I will give you a rudely honest critique of your comic", 2nd Nov 2020, 2:00 AM #1
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Like the title says! :D

The intent is not to be mean but I tend to be very honestly blunt in my reviews because I believe those to be the most helpful.

Please don't take any of my feedback personally, it's only meant to be helpful and spot areas that could use improvement, OR gush about your strengths!

So if you want to know what a new reader REALLY thinks, sign up below and I will give you a brutally honest play-by-play review.

3 spots open! :D yaaayyy

1.mightyguy15/ Tsokaka
2.Zarzaliel/NIL
3.Guypercin/arkin blade
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2nd Nov 2020, 2:11 AM #2
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I'd love to hear your take on Tsokaka! I've gotten critiques saying it's bad before, but I'm interested in hearing how my improvements made it worse.


Edit: also, just throwing this out there, I started this comic long ago before I used character sheets and, you know, did stuff your supposed to do for a comic. I know some of my characters change model often, but their appearance on the current page is the default and the older pages are currently being edited to follow suit!
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2nd Nov 2020, 2:15 AM #3
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Just gave the comic a face lift. Please give it a violent reversal.
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Çet!

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2nd Nov 2020, 2:20 AM #4
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mightguy15:I'd love to hear your take on Tsokaka! I've gotten critiques saying it's bad before, but I'm interested in hearing how my improvements made it worse.


Edit: also, just throwing this out there, I started this comic long ago before I used character sheets and, you know, did stuff your supposed to do for a comic. I know some of my characters change model often, but their appearance on the current page is the default and the older pages are currently being edited to follow suit!


Gotcha! :D edit noted, ill check out the current page and keep that in mind.

Merged Doublepost:

Zarzaliel:Just gave the comic a face lift. Please give it a violent reversal.


As you wish. -3-
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2nd Nov 2020, 2:27 AM #5
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Just tear me a new one, man. I need it.
Arkin Blade
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Read Arkin Blade here! (Banner coming soon)
2nd Nov 2020, 2:30 AM #6
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Hey, I like arkin blade! Though a review of it would be interesting. I'm glad you decided to hop on board!
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2nd Nov 2020, 4:28 AM #7
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If there’s room, I’m down! It’s been awhile since I’ve had a critique, and I’m curious as to what a new reader thinks of the newer chapter(s)

I’m aware of the bad art/writing in the first chapter, but you can still rip at it if you think you find something really specific or something, or just rip at it anyway and I’ll join you XD

(Edit) I just noticed that you had 3 spots open. No worries then! I can try another time too.
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2nd Nov 2020, 5:38 AM #8
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Mightyguy15/Tsokaka:

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2nd Nov 2020, 11:19 AM #9
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Thanks so much for the review! I apoligize for how confusing and drawn out everyting is, I take show don't tell way too seriously. If I may explain, the biggest reason I was displaying all of that information is because it becomes relevant in the story later (I kinda take Eiichro Odas' stance when it comes to storytelling where every single scene is relevant to the story in some way). Tsokaka shows up very soon and the current characters in the chapter will have very close ties to him that will last for the remainder of the story, both in a story and relationship sense with one of them building a freindly relationship with him in real time and the other eventually becoming his teacher. I wanted to establish as much information about them as possible before he hops in so people can be well acquainted with them, though I seriously overdid it.

I think I'm going to reveal him in the next few pages. I got so lost in the fun of drawing the stuff, I didn't even realize that 35 pages later he isn't even in, lol. I love build up, but perhaps I did take it too far, lol!


Also, yeah sorry about the tone and detail. I should probably start asking for art critiques on the forums often as well. I get paranoid worrying about either or not I made a page good enough, either or not I included enough details, or either or not I made it clear enough where everything is taking place. Thank you for your suggestions on thicking the outline of the characters in the forground and paying more attention to making background elements less obnoxious! And thank you for your time! It is very much appreciated and I will impliment those criticisms in the story asap!
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3rd Nov 2020, 12:07 AM #10
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Ooooohhh..ok! That makes more sense. Looks like the story just got away from you..I can relate. '<:D yeah if there's some way to wrap it up soon and bring in the main guy that would really help.

Np! I'm really glad it was helpful! :D

Merged Doublepost:

ShaRose49:

(Edit) I just noticed that you had 3 spots open. No worries then! I can try another time too.


Yup, I sorry! :( maybe next time!
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3rd Nov 2020, 12:31 AM #11
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No worries mate!
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3rd Nov 2020, 8:17 PM #12
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@Zarzaliel just wanted to let you know I'm currently going over NIL but since the backlog is so large it might take me a minute to finish. Didnt want you to think I forgot or anything. I'm on it! :D
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3rd Nov 2020, 8:21 PM #13
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I will be patient.
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Çet!

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3rd Nov 2020, 8:55 PM #14
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Roast me please. :)

Edit: I just noticed I'm late. :(
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7th Nov 2020, 2:52 AM #15
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WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OK!!! HERE IT IS

Zarzaliel/NIL:

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7th Nov 2020, 4:43 AM #16
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Aww yis, I've been waiting for this.

The first thing I see after clicking the comic link is a big ol grey index. Boo. Boring. I want to be roped in by some pages, not study an index with the same repeated titles for a minute..hmm..prologue...let's go..*click!*

CHEEZ N CRUST!! YOUR INDEX HAS AN INDEX.

Ok...is there any way you can put your link directly to a page? Whether the first or the latest, this is a lot of work to start reading a page "<:D


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You missed a spot mate.

Anyway, bottom line is, story gud, very long. Honestly it's what I'm aiming for, if a reader won't be sticking around for this long, no point in adjusting for them because I have plans to make this thing long. I agree that the fights could've been a bit more densly packed, but I have the case of too many ideas too little time, so it might be fun to know that this is the curated, polished version. (which might not be as curated and polished as I thought). Now I feel generally good about myself, and the more intently planned out storyline ahead, and I feel compeled to sell you on my story just a lil' bit more. This you just read is the metaphorical tip of the iceberg, or as I call it, the second chapter of the seven part book, which in turn is part of a trilogy. And this is the mildest part of the story. So, have fun.

And since you've been a doll, I'll graciously respond to some of your questions.

what bus DID he get on? Maybe I missed it but where were they? A prison? Joining the military? They just showed up to a place and started going crazy i don't know.

The bus was simply passing through the border between two countries. (From Iraq to Iran specifically)

OH YEAH, WAIT! whats with the brain guy??? Or is that storyline still coming..?

Here.
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7th Nov 2020, 6:15 PM #17
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Zarzaliel:

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You missed a spot mate.


Oop! Yup, sure did! :I

Zarzaliel:
Anyway, bottom line is, story gud, very long.



Basically, yup. <:D which, as mentioned, is not really a bad thing, especially considering your long term plans and goals. So it's a non-issue :P

Zarzaliel:
I agree that the fights could've been a bit more densly packed, but I have the case of too many ideas too little time, so it might be fun to know that this is the curated, polished version. Now I feel generally good about myself, and the more intently planned out storyline ahead, and I feel compeled to sell you on my story just a lil' bit more.
This you just read is the metaphorical tip of the iceberg, or as I call it, the second chapter of the seven part book, which in turn is part of a trilogy. And this is the mildest part of the story. So, have fun.


WAT :I


Zarzaliel:
The bus was simply passing through the border between two countries. (From Iraq to Iran specifically)


OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH :O ok, yeah that makes sense. I didn't catch that..they probably mentioned it and everything and I blazed right by it. Oog.

Zarzaliel:
Here.


Musta missed that too..gimme a sec here..*spectacles and old people noises* the guy with the brain and the fly? Hmm..so..ok.. :#
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7th Nov 2020, 9:10 PM #18
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(btw I made a tweak in the main page to make it clearer you can start with that button, it seems to be a recurring mistake)
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Çet!

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8th Nov 2020, 4:00 PM #19
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ah cool!! yeah that's way more obvious. Lol!! Lookin good! ;D


GuyPercinn, you're next, bayBEEEEEEEEEEE! Starting Arkin Blade now! :D
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11th Nov 2020, 2:50 AM #20
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Guypercinn/Arkin Blade


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Forum > Critique > I will give you a rudely honest critique of your comic
Pages: 1 2