Forum > Critique > See me after class.
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"See me after class.", 11th Feb 2021, 5:20 AM #1
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The vaguely-promised/threatened counterpart of my Nothin' but the Best, Baby thread is finally here. This one goes out to the folks that for some reason expected me to point out flaws in a thread exclusively made for praising the best thing about your comic.

The premise here is similar to the other thread--I'll pick one thing I think your comic needs to work on and offer a brief snippet of critical feedback on why I think addressing it could benefit the comic overall.

I will *only* nitpick one thing per comic and, as always, feel free to disregard my opinion if you want. Be free, do your own thing, maaaan.
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11th Feb 2021, 5:38 AM #2
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Does posting in the "Best" thread disqualify? I understand if you wanna give others a chance. If not I'll take a lashing.
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11th Feb 2021, 5:40 AM #3
⚑🌈🌠🐷 πŸ”ƒπŸπŸŒŸπŸŒ€β„
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Yesss... please.
(Here's a link to a few pages of a comic that I'm planning to take a second stab at.)
11th Feb 2021, 5:40 AM #4
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I love scathing opinions it helps me to grow.
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11th Feb 2021, 6:13 AM #5
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GuyPercinn:Does posting in the "Best" thread disqualify? I understand if you wanna give others a chance. If not I'll take a lashing.


No, posting in the other thread doesn't disqualify. Anybody who's been critiqued by me elsewhere can request a critique here.

I like the action in Arkin Blade--like I said, I think it's the best thing about it so far. But I feel like the sound effects are a bit lacking in the visuals department. They almost don't even need to be there half the time since the movement is already well conveyed. But if you insist on using them--and sometimes they are good to have--try to make them subtly "look" more like the thing they represent. Lettering size, color choices, particle effects, jaggedness or smoothness, transparency, tilt, and uneveness are all tools you can experiment with to give the sound effects more punch so they flow well with the visuals. There is such a thing as overdoing it, of course, but I feel like for the more "out-there" or hard-hitting actions, that little extra bit will help really make the reader "hear" the sounds.
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11th Feb 2021, 6:15 AM #6
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Well guess I'm here for the return trip, Bring it baby!
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11th Feb 2021, 6:26 AM #7
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Sound effects are something nobody's ever mentioned before in the numerous times I've had people critique my comic, and that's why I like posting in your threads, you always have something new to say.

They are important, and I do make an effort to make them match the motion of what they're conveying, but alot of times I get really hung up on what color to make the letters or how to fit it in the panel alongside speech balloons without hiding critical parts of a characters pose. I really like the aesthetic of big blocky letters but eh maybe I'll tone it down from now on.
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11th Feb 2021, 6:38 AM #8
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Ok go for it point the flaws of The Adventures of Sir Power
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11th Feb 2021, 9:58 AM #9
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Go ahead and roast me!
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11th Feb 2021, 3:23 PM #10
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Me too!

Actually, this is more interesting than the ego boosting one, so I am really interested in someone telling me what the defects are.
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11th Feb 2021, 4:17 PM #11
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Booyah, I love any critique I can get (mostly because I never get comments). Fell free to check out Angel Down.
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11th Feb 2021, 4:18 PM #12
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Lay it on me.
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11th Feb 2021, 9:50 PM #13
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Vivocateur:Yesss... please.
(Here's a link to a few pages of a comic that I'm planning to take a second stab at.)


Oof. It's hard for me to give you helpful advice on this project because, if I'm understanding this right, you're basically the DM for a collaborative crossover, giving the players a prompt and letting them make a page(s) for that prompt. Nothing I can say about the characters, dialog, art, or pretty much anything else will be useful to you without coming off as restrictive toward the "players."

Okay. That being said, I have a suggestion. I know this is still in the early stages, but once you get all your collaborators locked in, I would advise that you add a Credits pages to your site. In that page, list every collaborating author in whatever order you think makes the most sense, and also provide the name(s) and portrait(s) of the character(s) each collaborator is using. That will double as a Cast page, useful to comics like this with a lot of characters, and provide an easy collection of links for curious readers to check out the various collaborators' original works.

*EDIT*

So, this other comic, Mister Sunshine, the one you actually wanted me to look at. The only thing I have a problem with is the font you're using. I don't know what font it is, but the letters stick way too close together and it makes certain words a little bit harder to read, especially words where you have a lot of vertical lines side-by-side; for example, the word "THIS" has the "H" and the "I" butt up against each other so it ends up looking like "THS". It's still readable, strictly speaking, but you could probably find a font that looks similar to what you're using without the spacing issues.

Yes, I'm aware this is some intense nitpicking. Sorry. It's all I can do with three pages. Make more.
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11th Feb 2021, 10:03 PM #14
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Make me cry by roasting either this child of mine or this other child of mine! >:D
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11th Feb 2021, 10:05 PM #15
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Oh dear, I should have been more clear; the comic I linked to is an old project of mine (it has nothing to do with the game I'm running at the moment, and I'm the only author/artists).

All the same, that's a great idea (adding a credits/authors page on top of crediting each page individually) to the collab comic. A cast page is already in the works for that one.
12th Feb 2021, 3:04 AM #16
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Ah, I see where I screwed up. See, instead of clicking on the link you gave me, I went to your profile. I always look at a comic's profile first before I start reading for these threads (they usually contain useful information, plus they tell me how many pages I'll be reading). Seems the comic you want me to read is not present on your profile, for whatever reason.

Check back to my original comment. I edited it to add some additional feedback for the comic you actually wanted me to critique. Apologies for the misunderstanding.
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13th Feb 2021, 5:17 PM #17
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skybuilder:I love scathing opinions it helps me to grow.


I think it's all fine and dandy if you want a simple stick-figure art style, but if that's the route you want to go, maybe put more effort into the atmosphere and coloring. There's a page here where you get a lot more dynamic with your lighting and it looks better than most of the other pages. Not every page has to look like that, but the flat colors aren't as appealing as the type of shading you used there. Play around with that style of gradient more, especially in your backgrounds, to make the surroundings a bit more lively. Your most recent page introduces a hint of glow effects and I think that's a good direction to take your visuals, especially if you want to give some of the more fantastic/sci-fi parts of the comic extra flair.
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Two weeks ago, 3:55 AM #18
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Komi the Lass:Well guess I'm here for the return trip, Bring it baby!


Obviously the lettering is your handwriting. That's fine if that's how you wanna do it, but it's a little difficult to read and it looks like a few times, you ended up squishing words to make them fit because you ran out of room in the panel. Take a little more care to make sure all the dialog is neatly written. Since your comic is (so far) mostly focused on bickering and banter, you don't want messy, hard-to-read lettering to get in the way of the punchline.
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Two weeks ago, 4:30 AM #19
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Thanks man! I'll just start typing because my handwriting is the shittiest shit you'll ever see
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Two weeks ago, 4:33 AM #20
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melaredblu:I think it's all fine and dandy if you want a simple stick-figure art style, but if that's the route you want to go, maybe put more effort into the atmosphere and coloring. There's a page here where you get a lot more dynamic with your lighting and it looks better than most of the other pages. Not every page has to look like that, but the flat colors aren't as appealing as the type of shading you used there. Play around with that style of gradient more, especially in your backgrounds, to make the surroundings a bit more lively. Your most recent page introduces a hint of glow effects and I think that's a good direction to take your visuals, especially if you want to give some of the more fantastic/sci-fi parts of the comic extra flair.


Nice I really should work on my lighting thanks for the critisism.
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Forum > Critique > See me after class.
Pages: 1 2 3