Forum > Critique > See me after class.
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12 days ago, 6:50 PM #21
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I'm always jonesing for commentary from you B) Lol

feel free to forego this forray~
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12 days ago, 7:50 PM #22
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Ahhhh well I already heard the good stuff about my comic, so I guess I'd better brace myself for the bad stuff

H-have at it, if you will...
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11 days ago, 12:13 AM #23
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Zero Hour:Ok go for it point the flaws of The Adventures of Sir Power


Anatomy wasn't as big of a deal with the old art style, but since you're drawing the characters with realistic proportions now, I feel like you might want to practice gesture drawings to make the poses look more fluid. Sir Power has a lot of action, as well as some silly, over-the-top poses for comedic effect. Having a better grasp of anatomy would make the delivery for both stronger. I suspect, ever since you changed the art style, that working on that might already be on your to-do list. In order to not give you advice that for you amounts to "yeah, great, already working on it, thnx," may I suggest practicing gestures with live people using a physical medium? I know taking an art class can be expensive and impractical, but if you can gather some cheap paper and soft, smudgy graphite or charcoal (messy but forgiving mediums that let you draw over mistakes easily) and find a good place for people watching, you might find the different approach gives you a better eye for how the human body moves and fits together.
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11 days ago, 12:16 AM #24
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Okay, can you roast my comic 2099?

You have my blessings to go apeshit.
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11 days ago, 12:58 AM #25
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dankleosteus:Go ahead and roast me!


...cast page? Pls? I know that's not very helpful feedback for the comic proper, but while reading your comic, it was one thing I really wished it had. I admit that this might be a "me problem," but I have trouble remembering some of the characters' names, even though their designs are instantly recognizable, because the names are very unfamiliar to me. A cast page would be immensely helpful, possibly also with a phonetic pronunciation guide for those of us who are not terribly adept with the language family these names come from (a pronunciation guide for the title would be lovely as well, and if you *do* make a cast page, you could probably plunk that in there). Part of what I love about the comic is all the attention to detail and cultural context you impart both in the comic itself and in the comments. Having that extra information available in the form of a cast page would be nice, even if it's not strictly required to appreciate the story.
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11 days ago, 2:15 AM #26
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I like to be roasted please!
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11 days ago, 7:46 AM #27
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melaredblu:...cast page? Pls? I know that's not very helpful feedback for the comic proper, but while reading your comic, it was one thing I really wished it had. I admit that this might be a "me problem," but I have trouble remembering some of the characters' names, even though their designs are instantly recognizable, because the names are very unfamiliar to me. A cast page would be immensely helpful, possibly also with a phonetic pronunciation guide for those of us who are not terribly adept with the language family these names come from (a pronunciation guide for the title would be lovely as well, and if you *do* make a cast page, you could probably plunk that in there). Part of what I love about the comic is all the attention to detail and cultural context you impart both in the comic itself and in the comments. Having that extra information available in the form of a cast page would be nice, even if it's not strictly required to appreciate the story.



Cast page added! I could add pronounciations later too.
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11 days ago, 9:14 AM #28
โšก๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿ”ƒ๐Ÿ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒ€โ„
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@melaredblu: Thanks so much! That's really quite helpful...after all, if the text/font is hard to read then a lot of people just won't bother, so it's good to know that the font isn't working :)
10 days ago, 12:55 AM #29
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marcorossi:Me too!

Actually, this is more interesting than the ego boosting one, so I am really interested in someone telling me what the defects are.


Something about how the faces are drawn looks a little off to me. Particularly, the eyes seem to not look quite right. After spending a while looking back through the pages, I think part of the problem might be that they're uneven. Have you tried that trick where you flip your image to see how it looks mirrored before you start coloring your page? You might notice the eyes are not quite aligned or the sizes are noticeably different. By flipping the image, you can more easily spot things like that and make little adjustments to make facial features more evenly positioned. This kind of thing can also help you spot if a figure is leaning a bit when you don't want it to be and other quirks that slip your notice before the flip. Checking the mirror image is a really useful technique and I highly recommend everyone give it a try, to be honest.
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10 days ago, 12:58 AM #30
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melaredblu:Anatomy wasn't as big of a deal with the old art style, but since you're drawing the characters with realistic proportions now, I feel like you might want to practice gesture drawings to make the poses look more fluid. Sir Power has a lot of action, as well as some silly, over-the-top poses for comedic effect. Having a better grasp of anatomy would make the delivery for both stronger. I suspect, ever since you changed the art style, that working on that might already be on your to-do list. In order to not give you advice that for you amounts to "yeah, great, already working on it, thnx," may I suggest practicing gestures with live people using a physical medium? I know taking an art class can be expensive and impractical, but if you can gather some cheap paper and soft, smudgy graphite or charcoal (messy but forgiving mediums that let you draw over mistakes easily) and find a good place for people watching, you might find the different approach gives you a better eye for how the human body moves and fits together.


well i am actually already doing all you suggested before you suggested it, but thanks
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10 days ago, 7:38 AM #31
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melaredblu:Something about how the faces are drawn looks a little off to me. Particularly, the eyes seem to not look quite right. After spending a while looking back through the pages, I think part of the problem might be that they're uneven. Have you tried that trick where you flip your image to see how it looks mirrored before you start coloring your page? You might notice the eyes are not quite aligned or the sizes are noticeably different. By flipping the image, you can more easily spot things like that and make little adjustments to make facial features more evenly positioned. This kind of thing can also help you spot if a figure is leaning a bit when you don't want it to be and other quirks that slip your notice before the flip. Checking the mirror image is a really useful technique and I highly recommend everyone give it a try, to be honest.


Thanks for the tip!
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9 days ago, 3:53 AM #32
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Creamsicle42:Booyah, I love any critique I can get (mostly because I never get comments). Fell free to check out Angel Down.


It seems like a lot of the backgrounds in panels are just a single flat color. Not all of the panels--and you do seem to be moving away from that a little in the more recent pages--but it's still noticeably lacking in the scenery department overall. I think you might want to put a little more time and effort into adding more detail there. Try to have a least one panel on every page contain some kind of scenery around the characters, even if it's not a whole lot. Save the brightly-colored flat backgrounds for when you need some *pop* for a special effect or something. Since your comic seems to tend toward action and chase scenes, you really want to not have the characters moving around in a void. Ground them in their surroundings more, maybe think of ways to have them use what's immediately next to them to progress the action. Your environment matters a lot in a fight, after all.
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9 days ago, 5:05 AM #33
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Yeah. I'm actually working on this, and I'd like to think most of the comics in my buffer are pretty good in terms of background. Thanks alot!
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8 days ago, 1:27 AM #34
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ccznen:Lay it on me.


This isn't so much a critque as it is spitballing an idea for your consideration. I notice you use dark blue gutters between your panels. Unusual choice, but it works. I feel like there's some untapped potential, though. In the pages that are predominantly dark blue, like the current pages in the Mines of Lessia, those gutters match the atmosphere nicely. Have you considered changing the colors to match the dominant color of the pages? For example, dark green for jungles, cyan for underwater, and so on? I have to be honest, I'm not sure if changing the gutter color would work for *every* page and there might be something to be said for having a cohesive format. It's just something you might want to experiment with to see if making those changes results in a more pleasing overall layout.

On a slightly different note, I really would suggest you consider changing your comic's title to something less generic sounding. I know good titles are hard to come up with, but Untitled Brick Comic doesn't really do it justice...

(Yes, I'm aware that I'm breaking my "only nitpick one thing" rule here, but whatever. My thread, my rules. Roast me about it all y'all want.)
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8 days ago, 5:02 PM #35
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I've been experimenting with my panel layouts in the chapter I'm currently working on. I think you're right; there's a lot of untapped potential in my gutters that I should explore.

As for the title, I already changed it once (back before I migrated it to ComicFury). I feel weird about changing it again, as consistency is very important to me. Perhaps I need to give each of my storylines descriptive subtitles?
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One week ago, 6:12 PM #36
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The Alolan PokeNerd:Make me cry by roasting either this child of mine or this other child of mine! >:D


I went with X Adventures again.

The battles seem to go by a little too fast. And there aren't as many of them as one would expect, given the main character's goals. Now, I know Pokemon X/Y (the game itself) is a bit...um, let's say "lopsided" with its pacing and difficulty at times, so part of that might be you following how the game actually plays. My advice is to try to make the fights more fleshed out regardless of how it actually went in-game. Find ways to raise the stakes a bit, even if you have to take a little artistic license or stray from the game's story somewhat. Give the fights more choreography instead of having it play out like an actual turn-based RPG battle. The anime fudges the details to make battles exciting to watch, and you should consider doing the same. By making the fights more complex and intense, it'll help the audience connect with Pin better and make his personal journey more exciting.
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One week ago, 6:15 PM #37
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You make a very valid point. I'll definitely try to incorporate more exciting battles into the storyline. Thanks for the review!
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One week ago, 10:11 PM #38
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BustyLaroo:I'm always jonesing for commentary from you B) Lol

feel free to forego this forray~


Your artwork has really come to life ever since you moved to full color, but I think the way you draw expressions could be further developed. These sort of simplified animeish expressions, with the blank "shocked" eyes and mouths that open past the chin, tend to look a little flat. They're fine for comedic effect, but don't look as good for serious scenes. Perhaps consider moving away from that a little bit and have them emote in a more subdued way that sticks to structure of their faces more. You don't need to actually change the *style* of how you draw their faces, just keep in mind how it all fits together and work within those physical limits unless you *really* need to go over-the-top for a joke. I suspect you have a bit of skill with that already. The nonhuman creatures tend to have consistent enough facial anatomy, and they're plenty lively looking. Just look at the way you drew those demons in the most recent pages! I think you could apply some of that to the human/humanoid faces as well.
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One week ago, 11:30 PM #39
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Noted and appreciated! :D Thanks a bunch <3
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5 days ago, 3:54 AM #40
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The Accidental Ninja:Ahhhh well I already heard the good stuff about my comic, so I guess I'd better brace myself for the bad stuff

H-have at it, if you will...


It seems like you have a bit of trouble with perspective sometimes with your backgrounds. I can tell you're trying, but something still looks a bit off, especially in some of your indoor/architecture-heavy pages. The characters aren't quite positioned naturally with their environment sometimes, or something about the way it's drawn looks a bit skewed, like it's being filmed in a wide-angle lens. The outdoor scenes tend to look more proportional, so it's probably a matter of manmade objects being kinda hard to draw (something I also struggle with). All I can really suggest is to keep practicing, maybe use more references to help you along. You have a starting grasp of the whole thing and you do put effort into giving those backgrounds interesting details. They are still pleasing enough to look at, they're just a wee bit off. It just needs a little more polish and then you'll be able to create backgrounds with a very convincing sense of depth and scale.
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Forum > Critique > See me after class.
Pages: 1 2 3