Forum > Critique > See me after class.
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11 days ago, 7:08 AM #41
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If you are not too busy, I would love to hear what could be improved on for my pet project <3

Tho you did read thru it a while back for the pair-review thread, so if that disqualifies it feel free to disregard this haha
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11 days ago, 5:27 PM #42
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melaredblu:It seems like you have a bit of trouble with perspective sometimes with your backgrounds. I can tell you're trying, but something still looks a bit off, especially in some of your indoor/architecture-heavy pages. The characters aren't quite positioned naturally with their environment sometimes, or something about the way it's drawn looks a bit skewed, like it's being filmed in a wide-angle lens. The outdoor scenes tend to look more proportional, so it's probably a matter of manmade objects being kinda hard to draw (something I also struggle with). All I can really suggest is to keep practicing, maybe use more references to help you along. You have a starting grasp of the whole thing and you do put effort into giving those backgrounds interesting details. They are still pleasing enough to look at, they're just a wee bit off. It just needs a little more polish and then you'll be able to create backgrounds with a very convincing sense of depth and scale.


...Yeah... perspective and I are not friends, haha. I think you're spot-on with pretty much everything; putting characters into a scene (like, physically) is something that I really struggle with for some reason (and yeah, I wonder why manmade objects are so much harder to get right?? You'd think stuff with straight lines would be easier than, like, trees or something but I guess not...)
Thanks so much for pointing out specific stuff though, that really helps! (And also thanks for the encouragement, that helps a lot too haha!)

Whew... time to go have a battle with backgrounds I guess

Thanks a lot for the critique/feedback!!!
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11 days ago, 11:57 PM #43
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Jaycee Storm:Okay, can you roast my comic 2099?

You have my blessings to go apeshit.


Humor is subjective, I'm going to acknowledge that right off the bat. And I know daily webcomics are an incredibly demanding workload, so you have to keep things simple to keep that schedule consistent and feasible. That's perfectly fine, but you should really consider taking it easy on the fourth wall jokes, especially the ones that pretty much just serve as "the writer/artist is lazy" punchlines. Once in a while, it can be funny, but pointing out that something is lazily done or having the characters complain about how random the writing is doesn't actually make those things better by simply having pointed them out. At some point, self-deprecation starts to ring hollow if you just keep doing the same thing. Again, I know daily comics are hard. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to slow down the updates a little bit so you can take your time coming up with some truly creative gags. You have a fairly weird and quirky "world" where your characters seem to be able to do and encounter almost anything, so lean into that creativity more instead of poking fun at yourself so much.
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10 days ago, 5:23 AM #44
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melaredblu:Humor is subjective, I'm going to acknowledge that right off the bat. And I know daily webcomics are an incredibly demanding workload, so you have to keep things simple to keep that schedule consistent and feasible. That's perfectly fine, but you should really consider taking it easy on the fourth wall jokes, especially the ones that pretty much just serve as "the writer/artist is lazy" punchlines. Once in a while, it can be funny, but pointing out that something is lazily done or having the characters complain about how random the writing is doesn't actually make those things better by simply having pointed them out. At some point, self-deprecation starts to ring hollow if you just keep doing the same thing. Again, I know daily comics are hard. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to slow down the updates a little bit so you can take your time coming up with some truly creative gags. You have a fairly weird and quirky "world" where your characters seem to be able to do and encounter almost anything, so lean into that creativity more instead of poking fun at yourself so much.




Yeah, I've been kinda overdoing it on the self-deprecating fourth wall gags lately. You're right, maybe I should try to slow down the updates a bit (perhaps update every other day instead?). Thanks for the critique! That was really good and spot-on advice!
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10 days ago, 10:07 PM #45
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Lucas the Doctor:I like to be roasted please!


You didn't specify which comic you wanted me to look at, so I went with the G-rated option. The art style is, well, lacking polish. Looks like you use things like the elliptical tool and such to make the shapes and then hand-draw things like limbs and faces, so the quality of the linework tends to be inconsistent. I feel like the characters might have a softer, more cohesive look if you just drew it all yourself and avoided using so many shape tools. The shapes might not be as perfect, but the overall style will gel together a bit more. You also might want to avoid putting too many details behind where the faces will be. For characters like, say, the cereal box, the face gets a bit lost because there's all this other stuff going on in the same spot.
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10 days ago, 10:42 PM #46
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Whoops! My bad! But thanks for the review of Pumpkin Spice Season! I guess you do have a point with the whole lack of polish deal! And I do apologize if where I usually put my faces gets discarded over other details! Thanks for the advice! ^^
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10 days ago, 11:36 PM #47
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ithidunes:If you are not too busy, I would love to hear what could be improved on for my pet project <3

Tho you did read thru it a while back for the pair-review thread, so if that disqualifies it feel free to disregard this haha


Most comics in this thread have been reviwed by me before, so no, you're not disqualified but it's suprising how many people come back for my pleb opinions, haha.

Your comic already has beautiful artwork with a creative, intellectual framing device, but I really prefer the writing direction the last two chapters have taken over the previous ones. The latter half of chapter one in particular was way too reliant on text to tell the story and had too much text overall, at least in my opinion. The Sky and Sea chapter was much more succint and poetic, and it integrated visuals and lettering smoothly, but the visuals felt like more of a backdrop, something pretty to look at while the words did all the work telling the actual story. I feel the storytelling approach of the last couple chapters feels the most natural and immersive, integrating the lush scenery with the events in real time with some sense of urgency, rather than serving as merely (admittedly lovely) imagery. I realize this sort of "criticism" isn't so much telling you what I think you need to improve on so much as me saying what I think you're currently doing right. But even so, I think it can sometimes be helpful to have someone say something like, "Hey, I like that you're doing it this way now instead of how you used to do it."

Buuut I guess I should give you some kind of token suggestion. Maybe consider changing the color of the red text on your site? The green reads fine against the black background, especially the lighter green, but not so much the red. Maybe use a lighter tone of the same hue to raise the contrast a bit.
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9 days ago, 7:36 AM #48
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Bwahahaha, don’t underestimate the power of a well thought out review, I suppose! It is, perhaps, addictive... xD

But thank you! This is a very helpful direction, I’m glad to hear the later chapters are fitting together a bit better! My earlier bits are definitely... a beginners attempt, I guess? I fight with myself sometimes about restructuring the whole first chapter but I don’t want to fall into the trap of constantly redoing old pages lol. So yes! I’m glad I’m getting a better hang of the learning curve of all this :)

I will look into the website formatting as well! The contrast could definitely be bumped a bit, you’re right on that haha

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this<3
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Forum > Critique > See me after class.
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