ASH!'s Profile

Last seen: Today, 1:29 AM
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About Me
Once Upon A Time, someone said 'Once Upon A Time' for the first time.

My life has been an ongoing series of creative projects often designed to elicit a laugh. First from me, then from someone reading one of the strips I write under the Off The Beaten Topic umbrella. It's a ridiculous buffet. Enjoy!

ASH!'s Webcomics
Off The Beaten Topic
Off The Beaten Topic is the gazebo where all of the high-end, low-brow strips I write are having a party. Be careful with the pot luck items.

My life has always involved expressing my creativity (as inspired) and OTBT gives me a place to post a dash of Drunken Hooker Fairies with batches of Bat-Cow and a pile of POOJHOKES. In whatever combination I want to write them in.

To access the full libraries on any of my strips, head to The Linkiest Links page. Enjoy!

Last update: 5 days ago
Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
I had no idea that Winnie-The-Pooh had been in a newspaper strip when I found what became the first POOJHOKES in an image search. I had fun rewriting that first strip and wrote a few more. At some point, I realized I had written over 100 of them and felt like I should post them somewhere. Like here.

What started with one-off strips has evolved into story arcs exploring the characters' relationships and ever-growing continuity. As I neared POOJHOKES #300, I shifted gears from using the Disney-based newspaper strips to using Ernest Shepard's illustrations from the original A.A. Milne books.

Please note that Winnie-The-Pooh® is a trademark of Disney Enterprises Inc, which does not sponsor, authorize or endorse this web site. I'd like to think they'd appreciate it on some level, though, since this is yet another instance of Winnie-The-Pooh playing an important role in my life.

Give Winnie-The-Pooh love at the official Disney website @

Last update: 20th Nov 2019
Graphic Violence / Gore Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
In 2012, a guy found out I customized superhero figures and asked if I'd make him a Bat-Cow action figure. I replied, "So, like a a Batman costume?" I found out later it was something Grant Morrison did while working for DC Comics, but the man assured me that however I wanted to interpret the idea was fine with him.

As I sculpted a cowl, cape, and utility belt on a non-articulated cow action figure, I thought about the guy jokingly saying that Bat-Cow's sidekick would be Cutlet the Veal Wonder. As I painted a Bat-Symbol into one of the cow's spots, I realized that Cutlet's secret identity would be Dick Grazin. And that was it.

I knew that from that point, Bat-Cow would be a part of my creative life. I knew I'd make my own Bat-Cow figure and I'd have to make a Cutlet. The rest of the Bat-Cow Family started to form around them until I had over a dozen characters for...whatever Bat-Cow was to become.

It took over 5 years to have enough time to indulge myself in sitting down and creating Bat-Cow material out of the action figures and pages of character traits and plot points and random ideas that didn't even know if they were good or bad that I'd been amassing over those years.

By the end of my run, I want Bat-Cow to have been sweet and subtle and dark and ham-fisted and every combination thereof. But mostly fun. I hope I get to there.

Please note that Batman® is a trademark of DC Comics, which does not sponsor, authorize or endorse this web site. Although, I'd like to think that they'd appreciate the answer to "Just what do you think you're doing here?"

You heard'a this Batman guy? He's cool. Check him out at the official DC Comics website at

Last update: 12 days ago
Graphic Violence / Gore Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
May's Day
When I started writing strips for Off The Beaten Topic, my cat Mayday was an obvious choice for inclusion. She'd probably be extra bitchy to me if I didn't.

Last update: 5 days ago
Frequent Strong Language
Drunken Hooker Fairies
Not the only strip I write that was inspired by an uninspiring sheet of stickers I have found, but the one I write the most. Possibly because many are set in my apartment building's trash area.


Last update: 26th Dec 2018
Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
Diary Of A Lonely Swing
I found a swing set for one in a backwoods resort. There was a slightly larger playground nearby, but I felt for this solitary swing and took a few photos to remember it. Which became a few strips.

...and hopefully will become a few more.

Last update: 13th Nov 2019
Frequent Strong Language
Gay Dinosaurs
Another set of stickers that made me laugh when I saw them and inspired me to give them word balloons.

I don't write it as much as Drunken Hooker Fairies, but enjoy when I get a chance to play with these characters.

Last update: 15th Mar 2018
Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
How My Brain Works
Sometimes I see stuff and the stuff in my head is not the stuff I see with my eyes so I generate an image in order to see the stuff I see in my head with my eyes. Then I share it.

You're welcome -or- I apologize (as appropriate).

Last update: 30th Oct 2019
Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language
Off The Beaten Topic Miscellany
Off The Beaten Topic Miscellany contains mostly one-off ideas with a smattering of strips that have multiple entries (but not enough to warrant their own page given their intermittent creation).

It's akin to my brain's dump. ...or dumpster. ...or dumpster fire. ...whichever.

Last update: 23rd Oct 2019
Strong Sexual Themes Frequent Strong Language